Sparse
Year after year since the 1968 classic, Fox was determined to milk the franchise dry. So they did. Return to the Planet of the Apes is one of the laziest, most contrived productions I've ever seen, yet at the same time I was wildly entertained. I'm not gonna lie: this show had me in stitches.To me, this show is the embodiment of the "so bad it's good" effect. Across the board, almost unequivocally, it's apparent that ZERO effort went into making this. Fox wanted money from kids, so they made a series of cheap advertisements. It's that simple. As far as direction goes, they clearly tried to model the introduction off of Schaffner's direction from the 1968 film. However, revealing Ape City at the very beginning defeats the point of the long, drawn-out opening sequence, and effectively undermines any tension they would have had in its reveal. Further into the show, we are constantly bombarded with repetitive sequences of certain frames/animations, re-used in succession to create a kind of pseudo-tension, and above all to fill that runtime in the most cost-effective way possible. Besides that, you'll also get a good dose of still frames and bizarre zooms that get all snug-and-intimate with any given character's gawking, featureless face.First thing you'll notice in regards to the writing is that continuity flies straight out the window into the blistering inferno that is the vague assembly of a plot--which is a bizarre amalgamation of non-sequiturs and fever dreams--most likely developed via the spinning thingy from a Twister ® game box. The episodes aired out of order, though even then the series is evidently trying to build off of the events of the first two films, bringing in Zira, Cornelius, Zaius, Nova, Brent, and even mentioning Taylor. They just seem to ignore that Nova died, and that the earth exploded, and how technologically advanced their society was, etc. . . . It's painful, really. Even when you watch the episodes in order (effectively establishing a bare-minimum level of continuity), the most bizarre nonsense comes into play, including: giant spiders, sea monsters, prehistoric dragon-birds, King Kong rip-offs, unicorn-bison (wait, really?), pimped-out airplanes, and the obligatory race of subterranean mutants. To think that this is somehow related to an allegorically-dense, sci-fi masterpiece is bound to disorient some from any sense of reality. The conflicts within the show are comprised of petty squabbles and schemes of randomly determined significance. Unlike the 1974 series, there isn't enough competency to get by with its episodic nature as mere harmless fun, and it just feels contrived. The wealth of allegories formerly in the franchise are but a distant memory here, and any commentary that does attempt to surface is so devoid of intelligence or even bare-minimum subtlety. This series also mindlessly copies plot points from former entries, such as the "astronauts crash-landing on an upside-down world" trope for the fifth time, and where it doesn't copy, it supplements the plot with a mixture of generic and outlandish conflicts. Imagine something as generic as going out to get fuel, contrasted with fighting a dragon with a hot-air balloon. The characters are also pretty weak. None of them have much personality with exceptions for characters who appeared in the movies or TV shows, and even then it's misconceived or inconsistent. In former entries for example, Zira is intelligent and headstrong, but in here she's anywhere in between that and worrisome and compliant. Cornelius went from quirky, curious, and reserved to sometimes commanding and authoritative. The astronauts aren't even two-dimensional in character, and the one human female character we do get is gone about as soon as we see her, and then shows up for the second half. The dialogue is even weaker than the characters, with multiple moments in which lines aren't so much as grammatically correct. For example, I'll quote Bill, and maybe you'll notice a basic grammatical error that's unlikely to be made by an educated astronaut: "The truth is, none of us is safe, Zira". The voice acting is always somewhere between flat, awkward, and outright bad. The line delivery is so misconceived that it often had me erupting in laughter.Listen. . . . I know animation is hard--even bad animation is tedious, but the animation in Return to the Planet of the Apes is astronomically lazy. I think the animators realized that they weren't getting paid for effort either way though, so they went easy on themselves. Throughout the show you'll find re-used animations and frames, and lead characters with either no character model, or character models directly plagiarized from other character models, and even the animation techniques themselves are inconsistent. I'll go ahead and quote a brief conversation about it.Sister: "They paid their animators." (Sarcastically). Me: "Did they?" (Unsarcastically).I do like the background illustrations and colors. There's some nice artsy-styled frames every so often, and some borderline-breathtaking backdrops. Those were nice to look at. But that's about all this show has going for it--that and its music, which is somehow the best part. Composed by Dean Elliott, the score is a generally well- produced knock-off of Jerry Goldsmith's original 1968 Planet of the Apes score, complete with no small amount of 70's cheese. It actually has some catchy moments, and utilizes leitmotifs and themes, which makes it leaps and bounds above the quality of the show overall. Even if badly spotted, there wasn't an opportunity for good spotting anyway. The opening theme is pretty decent too, so I'll take it!This series isn't offensive enough to get a 1, and though its objective quality is more geared towards a 2 I'm gonna go ahead and bump it up for entertainment value. In my book, that alone puts it at a higher regard than 2001's Planet of the Apes. So I don't know about you, but I had a blast!Score: 3/10
Stebaer4
Yes I predicted that there'd be a Planet of the apes cartoon the year before it came true. Agreeably it's a mess but also still goes out of bounds of the website of Monkeying with the time-line.Just like for the "Planet of the apes."TV-Series."Dolls they made a mistake because of the movie of "Beneath the Planet of the apes."and made Ursus the one with the helmet while on the TV-Show it was Urko who wore the helmet and so then just to satisfy the customers they switched the 2 dolls of which they'd made the mistake with.It also was an easy thing to do because this takes place in the 31st century while The Cartoon like the 1st and 2nd Planet of the apes Movie took place in the 40th century but in the cartoon it's Urko with helmet like in the TV-Series and as mentioned it's a blend of characters from The Series of Movies and The TV-Series that followed.In this all over again like in the 1st movie called Planet of The Apes It's news when Cornelius and Zira do hear Bill Hudson Speak then he introduced himself by name and they let him go but know that the guard overheard them and so upon letting him out of the cage they then posed it like he got the keys,knocked them out,locked them in the cage,and escaped.On Nova's Dogtag it indicates another Brent born in 2076.As it was told that like in the novel by Pierre Boule The Apes had cars and advanced science & like in the original film to be released of which also had Charlton Heston as Taylor and Edward G. Robinson as Dr.Zaius but he passed away before they could complete it and so they then did it over and I know this from the Special on Bravo called "Behind The Planet of the Apes."It also includes mention of Planet of The Apes:The Forbidden Zone."of which was not only released by Malibu Graphics but was made possible by me after I wrote to them about their 4 issue Mini-series of Planet of The Apes:Blood of the apes and the misquote of the ape on the cover saying "Ape must never kill ape unless it's his job." so in making this and the other time Paradoxes make sense in the above mentioned title that I made possible with the little or not known peace time from "Battle" the fifth installment of the movies. Malibu Graphics had later got consumed by Marvel Comics and of which was the first Comics Group to adapt "Planet of the apes." Malibu had also acknowledged this cartoon in their introduction to "Ape Nation" in Ape Nation #1 of which blends/blended Planet of the Apes and Alien Nation and was doable because they're both 20th century Fox Productions.While at DC in the mid 80's a Star Trek/V crossover wasn't possible because they were by separate studios and in this order both Paramount and Warner Brothers.But back to the cartoon Bill got coined by Zira as "Blue Eyes" while Taylor got coined by Zira as "Bright eyes."in the 1st Movie.A Land quake consumed Judy but upon going underground Bill and Jeff found her and she got to leave with them she got coined USA and mistaken for USA and sounding like oosa by Crador,yes it sounds kind of like Crater. who was the head of the Underdwellers because of the headstand found that looked like her and said USA on it.A once thought extinct volcano turned out not to be and so lava came up and with the help of The 3 astronauts they made the lava take a detour not to do anticipated damage.Lava has its associations with craters. This cartoon has a near happy ending in the last episode but without giving too much away while at The End of "Battle."there really is a happy ending.When a boat full of Dynamite in the water got turned around by the Astronaughts and went toward Urko and the Gorillas then upon not knowing how to give the right answer but"I am,Run for it!"after being told by another ape "Your The General do something."Before this Bill also appeared in the Mirror to tell Cornielius and Zira of this warning and to tell Dr.Zauis too.Dr.Zauis even says"Cornelius I Hope you didn't get me out of bed just for some wild goose chase."Of which upon finding out that he didn't then finds he has to suspend Urko of his Authority for 3 months.The following week just when Cornelius and Zira thought there was no risk to sneak up and visit the 3 Astronauts but it turns out that Urko put another Superior Ape Soldier in his place.This cartoon has a Dr.Zaius like in the 1st 2 movies while the Dr. Zaius in The TV Series is set in the 31st century.This cartoon like The 1st 2 movies is set in the 40th Century but still doesn't agree. Jeff was voiced by Austin Stoker and as said was the only Movie Ape Alumnist to return for this cartoon as you'll see in a follow-up.Anyone who doesn't find this review helpful obviously doesn't know their Pota Movie and TV-Series Data.and therefore should brush up on it and see what I'm talking about.Truly,Stephen "Steve" G. Baer a.k.a. "Ste" of Framingham,Ma.USA
davidm-14
i just sat through all 13 episodes. what wasted potential. i love the apes movies, and it IS good for a Saturday morning cartoon show. it seems to have been written for a more adult audience, and actually came on after the live-action show was cancelled. on a positive note, it runs as one continuous storyline, rather than each episode being self-contained. it's the adventures of 3 astronauts (bill, jeff and judy) who crash land on future earth, apparently after the events of "beneath the planet of the apes". "brent" is even mentioned when they come across nova, who is still wearing brent's dogtags. but the future is different now. the apes suddenly have a complete technological civilization, including a huge built-up city, automobiles and radio & TV stations (i loved the scene with the ape farmer driving his hay truck through the country listening to "i'm going humanoid over you" on the radio).judy is nabbed and held by the psychic human "underdwellers", while jeff and bill try to rescue her and help the primitive humanoids living aboveground escape from the gorilla armies. but, it just drags so painfully in places, and the animation is just dreadful. in most scenes, all that moves is the mouth of the character speaking. there are also only 4 or 5 people doing all of the voices, which gets tiresome fast. hearing henry corden (the 2nd voice of fred flintstone) doing all of the gorilla voices is kind of funny, however.
