Payne

1999

Seasons & Episodes

  • 1

EP1 The J. Edgar Hoover Pin Story Mar 15, 1999

Royal panics when he realizes he forgot to buy an anniversary present for his wife, Connie. Breeze saves the day when she finds a pricey antique pin left behind by a guest, and Connie is thrilled with her gift. Royal is also ecstatic since he didn't have to spend a cent on it -- until the frantic guest returns to Whispering Pines offering a $1,000 reward for the heirloom. Royal can't resist stealing the ""gift"" back from Connie in order to collect the money but then finds himself setting up his own reward fund when Connie discovers that her new pin is missing.

EP2 Sexual Intercom Mar 17, 1999

The Whispering Pines' new telephone system has an added feature that Royal and Connie unexpectedly discover -- an intercom that allows them to listen in on the guests' conversations. Connie is thrilled to discover this new form of entertainment, and Royal decides to ""use the power for good"" -- satisfying their guests' requests before the requests are made -- a plan that inevitably catches Payne with his pants down.

EP3 Whatever Happened to Baby Payne? Mar 24, 1999

A representative from Family Friendly Travel pays a visit to evaluate Whispering Pines, and Royal attempts to dupe her into believing that the inn is a wholesome establishment. Unfortunately, Royal is busy trying to dupe the Family Friendly woman during a week in which the inn is coping with a cross-dressing guest and a lost child.

EP4 Gossip Checks In and a Cat Checks Out Mar 31, 1999

Livid about Connie's continual barrage of banal banter with anyone who'll listen to her, Royal attempts to prove that he's above all the gossip. However, when a mysterious guest checks in, it's Royal who is falling all over himself -- literally -- to learn ""her story.""

EP5 Pacific Ocean Duck Apr 07, 1999

Royal laments the quality of his clientele. He longs to play host to presidents and kings but rather he gets blue collar families and philandering husbands with their mistresses. His ire is piqued when he learns that his competition, the Sand Dune, has received two stars in the Mobile guide while Whispering Pines wasn't even ranked. Royal resolves to put Whispering Pines on the map by adding a ""gourmet night"" to the hotel's attractions. After he accuses the Mobile Guide critic of being a tart and comes to believe that his four-star chef has expired, it begins to look as though success is not on the menu.

EP6 Trouble in Room 206 Apr 14, 1999

Payne gets himself into trouble when he rents a room -- already occupied -- to a young couple desperate to be together. Payne is forced to evict the young couple when the original guests return earlier than expected -- but finds that it's not so easy. He seems to be stuck with them.

EP7 I Never Forget a Face-Lift Apr 21, 1999

When a bandaged woman recovering from a face-lift mistakes Whispering Pines for the luxurious Sand Dunes Inn down the street, Royal has her check in and lets her continue with her false assumption. Figuring the woman will have bandages over her eyes during the recovery process, Royal has Mo play nursemaid to her. The situation becomes tricky, however, when the guest's husband shows up looking for her.

EP8 Wedding Fever Apr 28, 1999

Royal, who is hosting an expensive wedding at Whispering Pines, begins to panic when the father of the bride won't pay until after the ceremony. Determined that the wedding will go smoothly, Royal is frantic when he discovers that Breeze and the groom have the hots for each other, and desperately attempts to intervene -- which leads to disastrous results.

EP9 Uncle Royal and Aunt Connie Jan 01, 0001

Royal's efforts to impress a businessman get sidetracked when Connie's nephew (Richard Speight, Jr.) shows up fresh from prison. Mr. Allenbee: Bruce Jarchow. Mrs. Allenbee: Lizzie Murray. Leo: Eric Christmas.
4.1| 0h30m| TV-PG| en| More Info
Released: 15 March 1999 Ended
Producted By: USA Network
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Synopsis

Payne is an American television series, patterned after the British program Fawlty Towers. It starred American actor John Larroquette, who portrayed assistant district attorney Dan Fielding on the American television program Night Court. Larroquette was also an executive producer for the series. Payne was a mid-season replacement on CBS and aired in March and April 1999. The show also starred JoBeth Williams, Julie Benz and Rick Batalla. Despite fairly positive reception, and receiving the blessing of John Cleese, who agreed to take a recurring role if the show was renewed, Payne was quickly cancelled. Nine episodes were filmed; eight were aired. The show is not available on DVD.

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Reviews

SteveGreen The US has a history of lifting successful comedy formats from the UK, some of which have proved as successful - and occasional more so - than the original templates. Steptoe and Son became Sanford and Son, Till Death Us Do Part begat All in the Family, Man About the House mutated into Three's Company. Payne is not one of those shows.Much as the US version of Coupling appears to have surgically sliced out the sex and sarcasm which made the original so funny, the team behind Payne seems unable to grasp that none of the characters in Fawlty Towers are meant to be likable, with the possible exception of Polly. Basil acts superior but has deep insecurities, Sybil is a self- centred bitch, Manuel is an idiot, even the guests are barely coherent.But that's what makes them human. And funny. And whilst we bemoan the fact that Cleese & Booth produced only a dozen episodes of Fawlty Towers, we can sit agog that Payne made it as far as nine.
rcraig62 This really ought to qualify as one of the worst television shows of all-time, no kidding. Right up there with Supertrain, The New Odd Couple and all the others in that elite category, that rarefied air. And the fact that it's a cheap knockoff of John Cleese's masterpiece Fawlty Towers isn't even the issue. The jokes and situations are hardly original and the characterizations are downright awful. I actually felt embarrassed for Larroquette, who I think is one of the most underrated comic actors in the world. Granted, he's no Cleese, but he's not that far below him, either. JoBeth Williams was just terrible, as are the Polly and Manuel ripoff characters. It's just plain tasteless, lame and stupid. That Larroquette's character on the show is actually named "Royal Payne" should give you an idea of the intelligence level involved in the humor. "Night Court" and the fabulous "John Larroquette Show" have this turkey beat eight ways to Sunday. An absolute piece of garbage. 0 * out of 4
dagarach The opening credits mention that it is based on Fawlty Towers. Apart from being based in a hotel run by husband and wife, I think that that is about it. You might as well say that "Four Weddings and a Funeral" is based on "Get Carter", as they are both set in England.Where is the animosity between the hoteliers? Where is the violence against Manuel? Why is nothing funny? How come everyone is nice to the customers and the odds aren't stacked against them?
Tony DeCaro (Aldo-9) This show is no where near as good as Fawlty Towers, first off John Larroquette is no where near as good as John Cleese. Royal actually likes his wife, where is the hatred that was shown between Basil and Sybil? The maid- nothing compared to Connie Booth. While it is sporadically funny, I cant help think of Fawlty Towers whenever I watch.