zkonedog When Hulk Hogan's "prime" in the WWF finally came and went in the early 1990s, the torch was passed to Bret "Hitman" Hart, who actually could put on a better show in his sleep than Hogan ever could dream of. Unfortunately, following the abdication of Hogan, the WWF was not able to support its top superstar with any other top-tier talent, and this fact was never more apparent than at Royal Rumble 1996.From top to bottom, this was a terrible card. The preliminary matches were incredibly lackluster (the character of "Goldust" only proves how low the WWF was stooping at this time), the Rumble was filled with fat guys, has-beens, and a few 100% jobbers, and event the main event (Hart- Undertaker) didn't live up to past billings. Long gone are the days of exciting characters and thrilling matches, replaced instead by weirdos and stereotypes that don't elicit any sort of emotional connection with the fans/viewers.Unless you are a die-hard WWF junkie, please do not spend one cent of your finances on this three-hour snoozefest.

callanvass (01.21.96)Live from Fresno, CAAttendance: 9,600Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Mr. PerfectJeff Jarrett Vs Ahmed JohnsonAhmed wins by DQ when Jarrett nails Ahmed with a guitar. This wasn't the best choice to open the show. Jarrett being Ahmed's first high- profile feud is smart because Jarrett is a solid wrestler and a pro. Jarrett guiding him along nicely with Ahmed showing off his green, but impressive agility at times.*1/2Tag Team ChampionshipThe Smoking Gunns (C) Vs The Bodydonnas (W/Sunny)The Gunns retain when Bart pins Zip with a small package. This tag match was OK, if a little inconsistent at times. In my opinion, Sunny was the most interesting thing here.**Intercontinental ChampionshipRazor Ramon (C) Vs Goldust (W/Marlena)Goldust wins the title after The 1-2-3 Kid interferes and costs Razor the title. This one was all about mind games and psychology. They told a good story, it's just the match quality isn't that great because of Goldust's methodical style. This would lead to Razor facing The Kid in a crybaby match.*3/4It's time for the Royal Rumble! #1 is Hunter Hearst Helmsley. #2 is Hunter's old foe, Henry Godwin. #3 is Bob Backlund. He saves Hunter from being eliminated. #4 is Jerry Lawler. He helps devise a plan to triple team Henry Godwin with Hunter and Backlund. Henry ends up throwing slop on Lawler. #5 is Bob Holly. #6 is King Mabel. I'm shocked that Mabel didn't eliminate anyone. #7 is Jake "The Snake" Roberts to a huge pop. He clears everyone out of the ring (through the ropes) with his snake except for Lawler, who gets the snake draped over him. #8 is Dory Funk Jr. The crowd wants Jake to deliver a DDT. Lawler is NOT eliminated, just hiding underneath the ring. #9 is Yokozuna. Yokozuna tosses Backlund and eliminates him. #10 is the 1-2-3 Kid with Razor trailing right behind him. Razor chases The Kid all over ringside until he's restrained by officials. #11 is Takao Omari from Japan. #12 is Savio Vega to no reaction. Yokozuna eliminates Mabel, then Jake Roberts gets rid of Omari as well. Uh- oh! #13 is Vader. Savio eliminates Dory Funk Jr. #14 is Doug Gilbert from the USWA. Jake DDT's Savio to a pop, but gets eliminated by a punch from Vader immediately after. #15 is a Squat Team member. I'm not too familiar with The Squat Team. Vader eliminates Doug Gilbert with ease by press-slamming him over the top rope. Soon after that, he gets rid of the Squat Team member. #16 is Squat Team member #2. Since they're twins, they decide to enter the ring together, but Yokozuna and Vader quickly put a stop to that. #17 is Owen Hart. #18 is Shawn Michaels! Vince is WAY too excited about Shawn (Here he comes! Here he comes!!) Vader gets rid of Savio Vega to end his night. Shawn dumps BOTH Yokozuna and Vader to a huge pop. The 1-2-3 Kid's night ends when Shawn tosses him. #19 is Hakushi. Vader is P****sed about being eliminated and clears the entire ring, but none of the eliminations count because Vader had already been thrown out. #20 is Tatanka. Owen Hart tosses Hakushi out as Aldo Montoya comes in at #21. Shawn finds Lawler under the ring, pulls him out, then officially eliminates him. #22 is Diesel. Diesel gets rid of Tatanka. #23 is Kama. #24 is STONE COLD....err, The Ringmaster. The Ringmaster ends Bob Holly's lengthy run and eliminates him. #25 is Barry Horrowitz. Diesel eliminates Triple H after Hunter was in there for almost 50 minutes. #26 is Fatu. #27 is Issac Yankem (Kane). Owen Hart tosses Horrowitz. Shawn eliminates Owen Hart. Austin hilariously mocks HBK's pose after drilling him with a clothesline. #28 is Marty Janetty. Shawn and Marty go at it, of course. #29 is The British Bulldog. The Bulldog gets rid of Janetty. Fatu eliminates The Ringmaster, then Yankem tosses Fatu. #30 is Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. Owen Hart runs out and attacks HBK to get some revenge for the elimination. Shawn eliminates Issac Yankem. Diesel and Kama get rid of Droese. The final four are HBK, Diesel, Kama, and The British Bulldog. HBK clotheslines Bulldog out. Diesel eliminates Kama, but Shawn superkicks Diesel from behind to eliminate Diesel. Diesel makes his way back to the ring and confronts Shawn Michaels. After some brief tension is teased, Diesel ends up high-fiving Shawn. Royal Rumble winner: Shawn MichaelsThoughts: This was a pretty solid Rumble for the most part. I wouldn't say it's filled with outstanding moments, but it does have some memorable ones. Vader made as good of an impact as he possibly could have without winning the rumble. Triple H made an impression by lasting almost 50 minutes. Also, Shawn winning was the right choice at this juncture. My favorite moment of the rumble is Jake Robert's return. I always pop for it each time I see it. WWF ChampionshipBret Hart (C) Vs The Undertaker (W/Paul Bearer)Diesel brawls with Undertaker in the aisle while Diesel's on his way back to the dressing room. The Undertaker has the match won after hitting Bret with a tombstone, but Diesel pulls the referee out and causes the DQ. I have mixed emotions about this match. On one hand, I enjoyed it. The psychology was great and it really became exciting after a while. Even though both were faces, I liked the aggression from both. On the other hand, there are far too many rest holds at times and it really dragged the match down. The crowd was split 50/50.***1/2

amanwhorocks 1. Hunter Hearst Helmsley Vs. Duke Droese - HHH like complete heel in his beginnings lost by DQ. 6.5/10 2. Jeff Jarrett Vs. Ahmed Johnson - Double J ended match by his guitar. No Pearl River Plunge :( 7/10 3. WWF Tag Team Championship: The Body Donnas Vs. Champs-The Smoking Guns - That wasn't bad. 6.5/10 4. Intercontinental Chmapionship: Goldust Vs. Champ-Razor Ramon - Goldust acted here like gay weirdo, i really don't like that. And yes, he became new champ. 6/10 5. Royal Rumble match: HBK won and I really thought this year should be his. 7/10 6. WWF World Championship: The Undertaker Vs. Champ-Bret Hart I give this points for the length and so effort. 7/10

BimmerDude World Wrestling Federation Champion Bret The Hitman Hart defends his WWF Title against Big Daddy Cool Diesel in the main event. This was one of WWF Chammpion Bret"The Hitman"Hart's first title defences since regaining the title at the survivor series and one of Diesel's last matches for the WWF. Besides the WWF Championship match, the over the top rope Royal Rumble was action packed as usual with stand out performances by the Slammy Award Winning Owen Hart, Vader and a returning Shawn Michaaels.