CelluloidRehab Somewhere in space, where no one can hear you scream, the Cosmos 1 is heading off to somewhere else. The crew have been on this 6 month mission. They are an advanced space faring race with their futuristic lockers and guitar-looking radar wall screen and the tendency to do space/time conversion formulas. Somewhere else another space vessel, Cosmos 3, has problems. The ship and crew are being held hostage by Centaurians (think of Klingons without the brown paint and sash, but all Asian) and because of it they crash onto a "prehistoric" planet.The commander of Cosmos 1, Admiral King (played by the walking corpse of the late Wendell Corey), disobeys orders and goes on a rescue mission to Solaris. 3 months later .....Cosmos 1 arrives at the planet, where 18 years have gone by. A rescue party is sent down, lead by Commander "I don't like Centaurians" Scott with Dr. Farrell (played by the incomparable John Agar), Lt."Why won't he shut up" Bradley, Stuart Margolin as the Chief and some nobody who's expendable (think of the red shirt security officers from the original Star Trek series). At the same time, Linda (Irene Tsu) escapes to the planet to stretch her legs.On the "prehistoric" planet below, they find the crash site and the lone survivor; a Centaurian named Tang (Robert Ito). The rest of the movie is just a "stew" containing paper machete sets, stock footage of an iguana, a rubber iguana on fire, a sock-like jumping tree snake, a hopping spider plush toy, animal cruelty towards a chimpanzee (Teeko), stock footage, the admiral's slurred confused alcoholic rants and a trio of cavemen brutes. We top this with scenes upon scenes of the lecherous, chauvinistic, sexual harassing, karate practicing Lt. Bradley (who never shuts up). Visualize the Watney Smith character from Outlaw of Gor .... CABOT !!Though the budget of the movie (and by proxy the intelligence of the write/director) was low, the movie still manages to be infused with a thought provoking plot about race relations, cultural differences, not being understood, being different, going through turmoil and finding a resolution. As a rule, you probably won't need more than 5 or 6 shots of SoCo to be able to see this.You will probably recognize some of the actors. They had long and fulfilling careers, but you would not have bet on that after seeing this movie. Riveting performances like "crossing the log when we could go around or jump over the liquid" scene and Irene Tsu's unforgettable banana scene. This scene is both erotic, inappropriate and confusing (the skin of the banana ,and by proxy the banana itself, is bite-proof, yet not peel proof). Robert Ito's "hopping" interpretation of Tang will haunt me for the rest of my days. I highly recommend this movie if you are not alone, not on any sleep inducing medication nor in possession of a dissection kit and are watching the MST3k version of this movie. In my final thoughts I noticed a similarity between this movie and another MST alumni, The Clonus Horror. Now to a bit of SAT deja vu :The Clonus Horror is to The Island as The Women of the Prehistoric Planet is to …. a) Star Trek b) Star Wars c) None of the above d) Battlestar Galactica.... for those even remotely interested the answer will be in my next review.-Celluloid Rehab

metalrox_2000 Perhaps the worst movie ever shown on MST3K. Misleading titled, actors who aren't believable as humans. A Cardboard set, and outright laughable special effects. I guess one could list the plot as a goof. There was something that came out of this movie that started a trend. Something we see today. Prop Advertisements. Tang, a children's fruit drink, was the name of the only one left on the planet. subliminal advertisement! What a concept.I wonder how Tang's sales were after this movie. Wait, I guess that really isn't a positive. I guess as far as this movie is concerned, the glass is really half empty. Kinda like the people's head who starred and those who wrote it. half empty. No brains, just space for rent.

dls-3 I must be used to the STAR TREK series plus its affiliated spinoffs plus CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND or maybe ET etc, but with this film, I have problems.There really is no chemistry between the actors. They speak to one another, but there is no comraderie. Everybody is put into his or her little box and that is where they stay.The only good things about this movie, as far as I feel are Tang (Robert Ito in pre-QUINCY days) and Irene Tsu. I actually felt that they really cared for each other. There was the chemistry that was missing from the rest of the movie.I also liked Lt. Bradley (Paul Gilbert). Why would they have such a clown in the midst of a bunch of zombies. His energies were wasted.The ending caught me off guard. I won't divulge it, but I'm going to look at this movie again tonight to see if I can pick up any clues as to what was revealed at end time of this movie.

Sterno-2 Yoy! Shouldn't there be laws against fraudulent movie titles? The movie's title suggests something like "Fire Maidens in Outer Space", with scantily-clad women prancing here and there, doing liturgical dance and generally acting as hunk magnets for the film's beefy, 1950s-era heroes. Alas, such is not the case. What you get instead is something along the line of "Beatniks" (which had none in the movie).The film's premise dealing with time travel is noble, but the continuous back and forth on how many years have passed since this or that event are confusing. John Agar stars along with Wendell Corey as leaders of a space expedition designed to both explore other worlds and revive the culture of a dying warrior society.Agar's ship attempts to rescue a sister ship that crash landed on a distant planet. Eighteen years of real time have passed since the crash, or is it 18 years of my life that have been lost watching this movie? Anyhow, Linda, the only woman on this "prehistoric" planet is the one brought there by Corey, whom it turns out is the love child of Corey and a woman from the Centaurian society that he's trying to save. Linda meets up with Tang (breakfast drink or hunter-gatherer, you decide), who is the offspring of two of the crash's survivors.The movie's ending leaves you groaning under the weight of the true premise of Tang & Linda existence on this planet. This premise comes from a decidedly non-Christian world view. Watch this if you are an MST3K fan; otherwise, skip this primordial soup starter.