jbaker1-2 Where do I begin? How do I review a movie so devoid of substance that by the time it was over I had almost forgotten how it started? Well, I got myself into this, so off we go, and yes, there will be snark.What we have here is yet another "found footage" flick featuring everything that's bad about that gimmick rolled up into one package and amped up to eleven. Well, not quite everything. Since nothing much happens at all, we're thankfully spared the "shaky cam" shots of people running and screaming that are so typical of "found footage", although the also typical low quality audio and video are present in abundance. We do, of course have the obligatory group of twenty-somethings to serve as our protagonists/victims, and here they're heading off to document the alleged supernatural goings on at a supposedly haunted cottage in the Welsh countryside. Seems typical so far, right? But wait. It gets worse. While we, the audience, are led to believe that the aforementioned supernatural goings on do indeed go on, with the exception of a "mysterious" self-opening door or two, we never get to see them, since they always seem to happen in a room where there are no cameras. Really? We've come all this long and boring way with our intrepid heroes and we don't even get to see a ghost? Not even a glimpse? Come on, guys 'n gals. I understand budget constraints, but if you couldn't afford at least a couple of basic effects, maybe you should have held off making the movie until your finances were a bit healthier. Hell, even a guy in a sheet would have been better than nothing. But since you apparently couldn't even afford a title, I guess we shouldn't be surprised. I wish I could give you a better idea of the storyline, but there really isn't a storyline. Twenty-somethings go to haunted cottage, experience odd occurrences the audience never sees and spend a lot of time talking about it. That's pretty much it. There is somewhat of a subplot involving a love triangle, but nothing really comes of it. Perhaps talented filmmakers who actually know what they're doing could have made something at least mildly interesting even with so little to work with, but unfortunately there were apparently no talented filmmakers involved in this project. On the plus side, the acting, while hardly Oscar-worthy, is a notch above what you'll usually see in this sort of no-budget effort, and the two female leads are attractive enough. Ironically, though, in a movie so dull and uninteresting that a bit of gratuitous nudity might have been its only saving grace, there isn't any, at least not that I saw, though I admit my attention wasn't riveted to the screen. The "found footage" gimmick is an approach not known for producing cinematic masterpieces, and this entry into the field will do nothing to change that. I added a spoiler warning for the benefit of those who actually care about spoilers (I don't personally. Knowing what's going to happen at a few points in the story doesn't "spoil" a movie for me), but thinking about it, how do you spoil a movie where nothing happens? Unless movies consisting of little more than people talking are your cup of tea, you won't be missing anything by skipping this one.

Platypuschow Untitled is yet another found footage style movie, once again a group of 20 somethings going somewhere with cameras to do a documentary. If you're an avid film fan you'll know I've literally just described dozens and dozens of films.This one is British made and for the plot there really is nothing more to say that the first paragraph didn't cover.We have 4 people, we have a bit of a love triangle going on and yeah.....I really can't describe the movies content anymore.Alike most films of its genre very little happens, but somehow Untitled manages to deliver even less. This does not include the usual tropes of night vision or shaky camera running and screaming. Primarily because there is no actual content. The movie is 1hr 40 minutes of chatter, this is more like a soap opera than a horror. It starts slowly and crawls to a standstill building to an ending I assure you you'll have seen before.If you don't want to make original movies and just recycle content from others then why even bother?The Good:2/4 of the cast were competent enoughThe Bad:Goes nowhereUnforgivably dullNo originality whatsoeverThings I Learnt From This Movie:I find myself hoping that the creators are ashamed of themselves for this film. Not only because it's bad, but because it's like they've just took a series of other movies of the same genre and took random parts of them jumbled them all up and regurgitated this nonsense.

WisdomsHammer It takes quite a while for this thing to start. We get more character background than we need or want at the beginning, then, finally, after padding more time by getting lost on the way to where they're going, the group ends up at the haunted location they want to film their documentary at. Then they pad more time with a will they or won't they stay scene. How many cliches have we hit so far? But wait, there's more! There are way too many convenient instances where the camera wasn't there to film what we really wanted to see. It was blatantly obvious. The camera is taken out of the room on some pretense and that happens to be the room where something happens. I get that there isn't a huge budget on this thing, but that doesn't mean you can get away with that. It also doesn't mean that you can't make an effective paranormal movie. For me, this did have some genuinely scary moments and I liked the way they used sound for paranormal effects. However, the sound while they were talking at the table and continuously slapping it was so bad that no one who made this thing must have cared. The acting, to me, was above average for something with no budget. The cast was attractive, too. The biggest problem is that after this thing finally gets going, it refuses to show you anything. There are too many people who think they can get away with this. Your audience will rightfully be disappointed. The best punishment for the makers of any film is to make them watch what they've done. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but I can't recommend it. If you like found footage, paranormal movies, this is one of them, I guess. Start it about 22 minutes in. That will save you some time.

tiailds One of the top 5 worst found footage movies I've seen (and I've seen a few)."Was it interesting?" The story has been done dozens of times before. Even the horror back-story has been done. The haunted setting (once they get to it) is too cramped to do anything. .5 out of 3"Was it entertaining?" The audio atrocious. After listening for about 2 minutes, I wasn't sure what language they were speaking. With a combination of some thick UK accent, mumbling or slurring lines, and just bad recording makes most of the dialog incomprehensible. The characters are some of the most annoying one dimensional "things" I've seen in a while. About halfway through I was yelling at the screen for these people to just die faster. 0 out of 3"Was it memorable?" This review is memorable. That extremely predictable ending was not. I can't believe more than 5 people worked on this, and had to volunteer their time. I've seen numerous YouTube shorts and movies with far better quality (BlackBoxTV). .5 out of 3Start with 1 (unfortunately), 1+0.5+0+0.5=2 I suppose other found footage movies can only be better.