Paul Magne Haakonsen This horror movie from 1989 really embodies the entire spirit and feel of the 1980 horror movies. It is hard to put a concrete example on what it is to it that makes it so, but it just is."The Vineyard" is fairly straight forward. A reclusive wine grower, famous for his unique wines, have invited a group of young aspiring actors to his estate for what they believe in to be a party and an audition for a movie. However, the wine maker has something else in store for the young people, as he needs them to brew his special wine; a wine that has kept him young and alive for centuries.The effects in the movie were very 1980s. Just watch the movie, and you will know immediately what I am talking about here. The zombies weren't particularly detailed, but I assume for a movie from back then they were quite good.The storyline is generic and stereotypical for late 1980s horror movies, being predictable to the core. But still, the movie is fun to watch because it is campy and cheesy. And it was fun to watch James Hong in this particular role. Being a fan of Hong Kong cinema, it was also fun to watch Michael Wong in this movie.If you enjoy horror movies from the 1980s, then "The Vineyard" is definitely one to watch. And the ending is guaranteed to have you laughing...

Woodyanders Famous wealthy winemaker and film producer Dr. Elson Po (a deliciously hammy James Hong) has discovered a special potion and magic amulet which enables him to stay youthful and live forever. He invites seven attractive young folks to his remote island winery so he can feed on their lifeforce. Po chooses lovely aspiring actress Jezebel Fairchild (the ravishingly gorgeous Karen Witter, Playboy's March 1982 Playmate of the Month) to be his bride. Clumsily directed with a startling lack of competence by Hong and William Rice, with an incredibly dumb and trashy script by Hong, Douglas Kondo and James Marlowe which blends exotic black arts mumbo jumbo and hoary mad scientist clichés into a spectacularly ungodly brew, this entertainingly awful atrocity possesses all the right crummy stuff to qualify as a great deal of infectiously schlocky fun: we've got some tasty gratuitous nudity, a smidgen of soft-core sex, dreadful dialogue ("Castrate him!," commands Po to one of his flunkies who's caught a man who had an adulterous fling with Po's unfaithful wife), terrible acting, plenty of hot babes (Cheryl Lawson in particular is a total fox!), a plodding pace, cheesy, rubbery make-up f/x, tacky gore (a juicy decapitation and a scene with Lawson throwing up spiders are the definite gross-out highlights), badly dated thumping 80's rock songs, a bunch of groaning, lurching, rot-faced zombies, ineptly staged fight scenes, and a gloriously ludicrous conclusion. Karl Heinz-Tuber delivers a marvelously smarmy performance as a slimy effeminate talent agent. Both John Dirlam's crisp cinematography and Paul Francis Witt's shivery score are up to speed. An unjustly overlooked high camp riot.

BaronBl00d James Hong writes, directs, and stars in this appalling film about a mad doctor/wine grower/movie producer living on an island and having young, physically attractive men and women come to his island so he can either kill them or hang them up by handcuffs in his winery. Naturally, one, Karen Witter, a hot little blonde, is there to be his hypnotized bride. Whew! Hong prays to some Chinese god which has given him some ability to live forever. What the bodies of the visitors have to do with the wine is never explained. Nor is why zombies rise on the island. Nor is virtually anything of noteworthy status. The script just plain sucks! The special effects are bad as we see Hong get old(a rubbery mask perhaps), or some super-imposed green eyes are given to him, or scenes showing physical changes are just edited and pieced together rather than shot in one take or cleverly edited for the purpose of continuity. The acting is awful. Hong is a decent actor but not with this crap. The rest are just pretty faces with seemingly little behind those faces and bodies. Clichéd characters abound...some trying to be funny. Nothing is very original about the way things are done in terms of the horror aspects of the film. A bad movie no matter how you try to spin it. Although of Chinese subject matter, The Vineyard left me quite full. I certainly wasn't in the mood for anymore in an hour. Perhaps a 100 years from now. No way!

bigboybhatia The movie wasn't great, but it had it's moments. I think James Hong did a good job and found his character quite creepy. Some of the scenes including the spider scene were pretty scary! The fight scenes were quite good, especially when the preppy guy and his girlfriend were working together to defeat Po's big, burly bodyguards.Most of the cast are one hit wonders (if you consider this movie to be a "hit"). They made sure to hire a young, good-looking cast including the gorgeous Karen Witter who played Jezebel. Dr. Po may have been 1000 years old, but his choice of a spouse was right on the money!