Hot 888 Mama . . . during this phoned-in lackluster version of THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE. During the early going of this Battle of the Sexless, the terrapin sees himself passed by a herd of slowly slithering snails. However, when the race is on the line, he guzzles a can of Human Growth Hormone while popping a bottle of Steroid Pills. To encourage this sort of prohibited Substance Abuse, Disney then shows the hopped-up turtle putting additional inches on his legs faster than Barry Bonds went through bigger and bigger baseball helmets. Speaking of cheating, Disney also adds about five minutes of "padding" to the middle of this ho-hum affair showing the hare's main way to impress the ladies: by playing with himself! Rather than being judge, jury, and executioner, this show-off rodent offers himself as pitcher, catcher, and Aaron Judge on the ball diamond. If you think that this is fair, just ask yourself one question: How can he lose? Finally, the misguided Thumper makes hay in the tennis racket, risking nothing as he's again BOTH the Ying and the Yang. It's as if Siamese Twins are playing Twister!

Horst in Translation ([email protected]) This is an 80-year-old cartoon (so the turtle may very well still be alive today!) from Walt Disney that won him his 3rd Academy Award. Sports have not really been frequent in these early cartoon movies, but this one here is proof that Disney can also deliver in that area. And there is not only the race in here, but also all the different ways in which the rabbit impresses the female rabbits. Too bad that he is not as smart as he is fast. Or as smart as he is boastful, which would make him probably the smartest animal on the planet then. Anyway, this is a very enjoyable short film. Of course, it is never really in doubt that the tortoise is going to win, but that's not a problem at all. I was delighted to see that hard-fighting, kind and forgiving turtle win in the end. Or was I delighted to see the arrogant hare lose? Maybe a bit of both. In any case, this was a great watch. The raccoon firing at the turtle to get going was as funny as everybody moving away from the skunks in the audience. I absolutely enjoyed these 8 minutes. Highly recommended and there is a sequel for this one which is pretty decent as well. Good job from Holden, Norton and Wilfred Jackson of course, a really great mind in the world of early animation and cartoons.

TheLittleSongbird What can I say, brilliant! It is funny, original and fast paced. Adapted from the Aesop fable, it deals with overconfidence and perseverance in the way only Disney can do, and at no time does it preach. The Technicolour animation is very very good, and the music was just wonderful. The little rabbits were adorable, and both the tortoise and the hare(who I admit is a bit of a jerk) are great with great personalities that positively shine through here. There is an irreverent script, and although the pace is very fast, it is a hugely enjoyable silly symphony, that keeps true to the original fable, and in the meantime putting its own irreverent spin on it. Time to give it the standing ovation it deserves. 10/10 Bethany Cox

Robert Reynolds While Disney has all too often taken a classic and "cuted" it into inanity, this actually is a very good cartoon that still manages to retain the underlying message (while still being almost too cute for it's own good). Toby Tortoise is every kid who had to fade into the background to avoid being stuffed into a locker and manages to win out as much through being too lightly regarded as through his own determination. This won Disney it's third straight Oscar for Animated Short, a category they maintained a death-grip on until the early 1940's, when another mouse and his cohort started winning. Recommended.