Wizard-8 While "The Time Guardian" is never actively bad enough to annoy or anger viewers, more likely than not viewers will be disappointed with it. The biggest fault is with the script. For one thing, while the story (sort of) makes sense in the beginning, by the end of the movie viewers will be downright confused with the many details that were vague or necessary but simply not there at all. Also, the big stars of the movie, Dean Stockwell and Carrie Fisher, are wasted in minor roles that have no real impact to the rest of the movie. And the major characters aren't that interesting or fleshed out well. But the script is not the only thing to blame. The movie is directed in a manner that sorely lacks urgency and excitement. As it is, the movie just plods along in a casual manner. Is there anything of merit in the movie? Well, for a movie that cost just a fraction of a major Hollywood movie, the sets, costumes, and assorted special effects do look pretty good. But a pretty look does little when you don't care about the characters or story.

Woodyanders 4039. The human race nears extinction while attempting to elude bestial subhuman robotic creatures hell bent on mankind's destruction. An entire city travels through time and goes back to the past in the 1980's in order to not only change the future forever, but also save the fate of the entire human race as well. Director Brian Hennant, who also co-wrote the silly script by John Baxter, relates the entertainingly dippy story at a steady pace, treats the inane premise with hilariously misguided seriousness, and stages the pitched laser gun battles with reasonable aplomb. The capable cast struggle gamely with the asinine material: Tom Burlinson cuts an impressively rugged figure as hard-nosed take-charge hero Ballard, the insanely cute Nikki Coghill makes a sweet and favorable impression as spunky geologist Annie Lassiter (as a significant bonus, Coghill goes braless quite often, wears a skimpy tank top and panties in one scene, and even briefly bares her tasty small breasts for a gratuitous skinny-dipping sequence), Peter Merrill snarls it up with lip-licking gusto as evil head cyborg Zuryk, and Thye Liew Wan contributes an engaging turn as wise old Asian dude Sun-Wah. Moreover, there are sturdy (if rather minor) supporting contributions from Carrie Fisher as the sharp-tongued Petra and Dean Stockwell as the huffy Boss. The tacky (not so) special effects, laughable dialogue, and choice crummy 80's soft-rock ending credits theme song all greatly enhance this flick's considerable campy'n'chintzy charm. A real kitschy hoot.

jbmeans If this film didn't end Dean Stockwell's and Carrie Fisher's careers, nothing will. The narrative sequence often contradicts itself, and the plot line gets lost in the stylistic excesses of the direction. Production qualities are laughably amateurish (especially the JenDiki sequences), and some of the most violent scenes serve no structural purpose (do not advance the plot). A notably embarrassing aspect is the star billing given to Dean Stockwell, who obviously phoned in his performance one afternoon. Before seeing this film, I had thought that all major actors had agents who steer them away from career-killing disasters. Because this film is laughably bad, it might be recommended as a satirical send-up of the sci-fi genre, unintentional spoof though it may be.

toindeedbeagod Starring Carrie Fisher and Dean Stockwell (more or less, because their scenes look as if they were all filmed in one day). It's kind of a cross between 'Terminator' and 'Star Wars'. It's an Australian movie, and somewhere in between the male lead that walks around without his shirt on, or the female who decides to go swimming (without her top on and stuff) our plot continues.The Guy and Carrie, were sent to the past to stop something that wouldn't have happened if they didn't go into the past, I think. To look like they are from the times (he, he) Carrie wears a metallic wonder bra and the Guy wear the same, only a flatter one. They are given proper clothing by Australian natives who know more about what's happening then us. Meanwhile, Carrie trades an arm band with the REAL female lead, and basically tells her that she should go swimming with the male lead. Which she does, luckily this scene is cut short, as in THE FUTURE, a clone voiced Darth Vader/Robot has a grimy worm stuck up his nose, and yells bloody hell at everyone before going into the past.Guy and Gal, are mistaken for the death of a trucker killed by robots, the sheriff beats Guy and Gal up and accidentally makes the arm band set off a beeper that makes the robots look around like it was a dog whistle. Then Dean is very sad, as we cut to our hero who even though is trained by a kung fu master, beats up the blameless Maybury-like sheriff while his entire town blows up. Our hero gleefully yells his "I told you so" speech to the Sheriff for not understanding that Guy was a warrior from the future. Everyone from the future comes to 1988 and lots of booms go off.The major sad part of the movie is when Carrie Fisher sacrifices herself by jumping on the half human/half robot thing with crab arms for no reason at all, and gets the jam squeezed out of her.Then Dean is confused, and speaks some, then smiles, while our hero guy does something to his arms in the space time continuum, and slowly walks towards the trouble as hundreds more people are flung to their deaths by random explosions. He shoots the robots, they disappear, he and the female lead go to the future and crowd the entire screen with an extra big close up of a kiss, as he tries to swallow her entire face.