Platypuschow The Roller Blade Seven is a bizarre creature, it's a truly terrible film with awful production values yet features a host of famous names.Set in a post apocalyptic world much alike the Mad Max (1979) universe, except there are ninjas, religion and everyone wears roller blades for some reason.With audio that often sounds like it was recorded through a sponge, the same segments repeated, fight scenes that make Jerry Springers look like it's well choreographed and a story that makes no sense at all.It's one of those films that has to be seen to be believed yet you don't want to put anyone through a film quite this terrible.I award it 2 not 1 purely on the basis of novelty value but make no mistake it's the absolute pits.The Good: Nope! The Bad: Laughable soundtrack that doesn't even remotely fit the content Awful audio quality Embarrassing fight scenesCringe inducing camera work Scenes repeated several times We really don't need to know each actors name as they appear on screen Things I Learnt From This Movie: It is a reverends job to distribute samurai swords and see that people skate the path of righteousness Even in a post apocalyptic world religious garments look ridiculous Our hero is so anti-mainstream expectations that in a Jacuzzi with your standard bikini glad girls he keeps his clothes on and kisses them like you'd kiss your mother Wearing shades during the night STILL makes you look like a douche Joe Estevez is the lesser known brother for a reasonFrank Stallone is the lesser brother for a reason as well So roller skate ninjas are a thing Being hacked to pieces with axes will result in no wounds and no blood

mooncat335 My house mate and I foolishly purchased the video of 'The Roller Blade Seven' from our local second hand video shop in the hope of finding a bad film to laugh at. This film isn't even laughable, it's pathetically poor, worse even than Jack Frost 2-and that's saying something. The script, acting, production, stunts, sound, sets, everything is absolutely terrible. In some parts the actors haven't even learned their lines and are blatantly ad-libbing or in one case actually having the lines read to them off set and simply repeating them. Set in the post apocalyptic 'Wheel Zone',The film obviously consists of about 45 minutes of film, many parts of which are edited badly or repeated ad nauseum from various different camera angles to make the film longer. This gets tedious very quickly. The plot makes no sense whatsoever (It is apparently an amalgam of two books written by Scott Shaw), there aren't even seven of them, most of them aren't on blades, they're wearing roller boots, and it seems to me that mostly the film has been completely sold on the fact that there's about 3 minutes of female semi-nudity in it. The writer and star Scott Shaw obviously fancies himself somewhat of a Samurai and throughout the film performs some very poor stunts and made up sword fighting moves that look massively amateurish. Despite all this, his website states that the film should never be compared to a traditional film because it really pushes the boundaries of modern film making. My house mate and I were left speechless by the whole ordeal, and despite my frequent attempts to burn the videotape, she has decided it may be some kind of Ring-esquire video curse that needs to be passed on. If you see the video in stores, take it from me! Leave well alone!

jaaceejohnson I have read over the comments left for this movie and the film that was made in association with this film LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7. By reading the comments I realize that some people GET IT but most do not. As I stated in my comment for LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7, "Yes, this is a very strange, non-traditional movie, but that is what makes it GREAT. And, I do mean GREAT. Most Independent Films you see have the same style of story line, the same style of (just get the shot) cinematography, and the same type of common editing. This film has none of that. It is completely revolutionary. I think this film really makes a statement and that is something few films do anymore. I think its worth seeking out, especially for film students like myself. It really lets us know that, yes, you can still make art in the film-making process and you can get it released and out there to be seen. "After first viewing LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7, I searched for information about the film on it on the internet and I found Scott Shaw's website. Scott Shaw is the Star, the Editor, and one of the Producers and Screenwriters. On his website he discussed how this was the original version of the film and how the Executive Producer decide to edit THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN and RETURN OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN into one film and release it as a single feature LEGEND OF THE ROOLERBLADE 7. Once I read this I had to see the original version. It was really quite easy to find a copy as Amazon.com U.K. sells it. When I view this version (The Director's Cut) of this film, I completely understood what Scott Shaw was saying when he describes how this film was the filmmaker's true vision. Yes, it is much more wild than LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7. But, again, it is a true statement of cinematic art. You have to see it to believe it and it is a great inspiration to filmmakers.Keep up the Great Work!

imdbmykl I knew that I was not about to see a quality film when this title was included in a 'B-grade video night' at a friends place. Despite the warnings, I was still surprised at just how bad this film was. It was fortunate that there were a lot of us there to share the pain with each other... The film attempts to tell the story of a dark future, one in which Hawk (a Mad Max type of character) heads off to rescue a damsel in distress. In reality, the plot is a thinly disguised excuse for the producers to promote their own philosophies on life (watch the end credits and the 'these people are not real' disclaimer at the end for a real laugh). The movie is frequently lacking direction, and fails to develop its characters to any degree whatsoever. What's even worse though is the editing of this film. The film repeats scenes (often 10 to 20 seconds long) up to 4 or 5 times in a row. I think that this was an attempt to emulate things like Jean Claude Van-Damme fight sequences, but if it is it fails utterly. The film would probably be about 1/3 of its length if we weren't forced to watch the main character move his head in front of the setting sun half a dozen times (yes, that's all that happens in that repeated scene). I give this movie my 'worst film I've ever seen' award. I doubt that it will be topped any time soon.