Woodyanders As the extremely subtle, tasteful and artistic title alone suggests, this here is one of those unsung cinematic masterpieces, a monumentally important and incisive cinematic landmark of tremendous cultural significance, a profound and provocative rumination on the complex multi-faceted tenets of the human condition, sheer celluloid poetry ... hey, who the hell am I fooling? Scratch that high-faluting nonsense. As the extraordinarily asinine title truly suggests, this steaming hunk of utterly worthless and artless cinematic offal is a sublimely shoddy, silly and downright stupid slice of slapdash spoofy sci-fi piffle any avid connoisseur of sheer celluloid detritus should relish every last dopey, dunced-out dreckoid minute of.The so-called "plot" plumbs startling new depths in the history of "you gotta be kidding me!" celluloid idiocy: A luscious quartet of predatory and temperamental outer space babes land in the sleepy hamlet of Mayfield to find hunky attractive teenage fellows to mate with. Any person who ticks off the hot'n'horny extraterrestrial honeys gets transformed into gigantic humanoid vegetables such as carrots, pickles, tomatoes, zucchinis, and even squash! It's up to the boys' insanely jealous and possessive girlfriends to thwart the perniciously seductive distaff alien menace.Okay, witty and sophisticated the story sure ain't, but frankly who cares about that highbrow artsy crap? In place of that stuff we got a meandering narrative, mostly decent acting from a game no-name cast, a bevy of nice-looking chicks in skimpy outfits, a goofy synthesizer score set to a thumpin' disco beat, a touching subplot concerning one alien mother getting to know the psychic half-human son she had 16 years ago (oh the pathos!), lots of dumb dialogue (sample line: "Wait a minute -- this is ridiculous!"), chintzy (far from) special effects, and cheapo production values that are just a step or two above a homemade stag movie. Granted, this doozy never matches the sidesplitting lunacy of the brilliantly berserk "Invasion of the Girl Snatchers," but it's still an amiably brainless and hugely enjoyable piece of inconsequential fluff all the same.

capkronos Here's a good example of a cult attempt actually living up to the fun alluded to in the title! It's a zero budget wonder that somehow manages to muster up more actual entertainment value than most movies with fifty times the money, acting talent and special effects. It's more fun than say, INDEPENDENCE DAY or ALIEN RESURRECTION.Four horny alien babes (are these the best looking women they could find?!) come to Earth in search of willing young earth men. When the local population fails to live up to their high expectations, and the local girls become jealous, the spurned extraterrestrials get revenge by using their laser guns to turn their victims into giant vegetables! TEENAGE VIXENS is so much fun for B-movie fans (with spirited acting, funny dialogue and silly special effects) that it's easy to overlook the fact that it borrows much of it's plot from INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS. It used to be on regular rotation on USA Up All Night for many years, but the video is nearly impossible to find now.Score: 6 out of 10

Sarteshi This was a truly bad movie. Bad plot, bad acting, bad SFX, bad music, bad everything.

L.Dallas Guilty Pleasure? Naaaaa!!! I feel no shame whatsoever in saying that I loved this movie...and what's not to L-O-V-E?! First of all, the acting is somewhat above par for a "homemade brew" of this sort. The Vixens, although rapacious in their sexual appetites, demonstrated in the end that they were not at all slaves to their libidos, but rather masters of their pathetically inadequate lovers ( there has never been a funnier symbolic "premature ejaculation scene" in the history of the movies!). There has also never been a funnier farce made of phallic imagery; "You mean to say that all that's left of my son is a pickle!" Of course this requires an explanation! Quite simply the Vixens mate with vegetables on their home planet... 'nuf said?!To top everything off you have the" poor man's" Roddy McDowell playing Mr.Morrelli, and just when things couldn't get any better there is a killer soundtrack (which I will never own) and an homage to the Wizard of Oz! Who is responsible for this little gem? (and more importantly) What has become of them? What