Woodyanders A pink meteorite (voiced with growly aplomb by Eartha Kitt) lands in the middle of the woods in a sleepy small town. It transforms a bunch of local women into raging nymphomaniacs. Can hunky private detective Tony Mareda Jr. (an amiable portrayal by Frank Stallone) save the day before it's too late? Writer/director Anthony Currie milks the cheerfully dopey premise for maximum infectiously campy goofiness with the zippy pace, zany tone, and broadly drawn characters never letting up for a minute. Moreover, it's acted with considerable zest by an enthusiastic cast, with especially spirited work by Bruce Pirrie as bumbling meteorologist Clip Bacardi, Don Lake as the hopelessly clumsy Deputy Barney Drum, John Hemphill as the smarmy mayor Ernie Bodine, and Gerald Isaac as flamboyant homosexual Dwight Wright. The smoldering presence of various hot and sexy gals certainly doesn't hurt matters in the least: Elizabeth Edwards as delicious leader May Ann Kowalski, gorgeous blonde knockout Claudia Udy as sweet nurse Helen Walkman (Claudia is quite the yummy eyeful clad solely in white skivvies!), Laura Robinson as enticing TV news anchorwoman Trudy Jones, and Cindy Valentine as sultry singer Stella Dumbrowski, plus both Sheryl Lee and Lolita Davidovich pop up as pink chiquitas in their pre-fame salad days. A running gag about a team of inept Italian mobsters trying to kill Tony provides some of the biggest laughs. The bright cinematography by Nicolas Stiliadis gives this picture a cool glittery sheen. Paul Zaza's lively score hits the stirring spot. Sure, it's an incredibly silly serving of pure piffle, but this good-natured and inoffensive romp is just way too dumb and inane to hate.

Quicksand I caught this years and years ago on the USA Network, at something like 3 a.m. At the time I was young and impressionable, and I thought I was watching something very dirty indeed. There wasn't much to see, but I was convinced I was watching an edited-for-TV version of a soft-core masterpiece. Did I mention I was young?Years later I saw the thing on DVD (WHY is this on DVD?), and figured, what the hell. And, well... to call this thing PG-rated is being generous. There had been ZERO editing for that basic cable airing. No one get naked, and there wasn't even any swearing that I could recall. Even the underwear is pretty chaste.The acting is terrible, the writing is embarrassing, the lighting/costumes/makeup are beyond amateurish, and the "music" (written by Frank Stallone himself!) is instantly forgettable. So if your plot is a pink meteorite that falls to earth and turns the local women into Amazonian nymphomaniacs... wouldn't the only possible saving grace be having naked women in your movie? (or, for the two women in the audience, at least one attractive male?)There is NO skin, no jokes, no movie... The only reason this exists is so you can see the title on the IMDb and say to someone, "Did you know Sylvester Stallone had a brother? Who was in a movie?"

signups-2 This film is horribly acted, written, directed and produced. But it's so campy it's actually semi-watchable. That's SEMI watchable.The storyline (what little there is) makes virtually no sense whatsoever. The Barney Drum character is the only real comic relief in the movie and that gets tired after about 30 seconds. Many of the Canadian supporting cast can be found in TV commercials.. None of them went on to anything else that I'm aware of. And of course Sly Stallone's even less talented brother well..... =\Trivia: It was filmed almost entirely in and around the little village of Claremont, Ont. (about 20 miles N.east of Toronto) I recognized many local landmarks/intersections/buildings. I think the Drive-in scene was filmed at the now demolished "Oshawa Drive-in" just before it was torn down.

Muleskinner BAD!VERY BAD!!VERY, VERY BAD!!!VERY, VERY, VERY BAD!!!!If you MUST watch this, load up on alcohol / cannabis / pharmaceuticals (your choice) to the point where operating the remote control to turn it off is harder than continuing to watch it. Be warned - it'll suck you into continuing to watch just to see how much worse it can get; it does get worse - much, much, worse.Production values are non-existent; one character's toupee strongly resembles a road-killed wolverine scraped from a nearby Interstate highway.Costuming came from half-price day at a thrift store, with the exception of those which contributed to a world-wide shortage of pink Spandex that year.As to the script - the less said, the better (the writers should have kept that in mind)!The only conceivable reason to even put this movie into a VCR is to clear out those hangers-on who don't recognize that the party ended an hour ago - within 15 minutes, they'll remember that they have to be elsewhere, and are late getting there!