Comeuppance Reviews "The Number One Girl" is the front runner for worst movie of the year. I can't hate this movie more if I tried.The plot is about Joey Scalini (Schiena) who is asked to be a judge in a beauty pageant run by his old friend Dragos Molnar (Jones) who is also a gangster. Joey eventually falls for the title character Tatiana (Lisa McAllister). But Dragos doesn't like that and he goes insane. He closes down the pageant after party and turns it into a fighting ring. Now Joey has to fight Dragos and his bodyguards to the death! Everything about this movie is absolutely terrible:The acting: Tony Schiena has put in better work in the Van Damme flick "Wake Of Death" but shows no talent or charisma here. Vinnie Jones needs to get this one off his filmography fast. He's better than Scheina, but not by much.The pacing and directing: The movie is less than 90 minutes but it feels like an eternity. The directing is filled with static shots of nothing happening. In the pageant scene he's not even trying to cover up the fact that the contestants aren't singing(or acting for that matter).The fighting: The fight scenes are downright awful. Every move is cut too fast so you can't see what's going on. Seagal's stunt doubles are better than these fighters.In the end, trust me, you never want to see this... ever!For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Korch .... does a movie so bad, so wooden, so awful, and so painful get made. How this movie was ever green-lighted is beyond me. I can't believe Vinnie Jones agreed to be in this abomination. The acting was worse then that of soft-core porn thespians seen on Cinemax at 4 am. The script must have been written by a retarded monkey, with a typewriter. The director might as well have been Helen Keller. And the soundtrack was some of the worst music I have ever heard in my life. I bet that is the elevator music that plays in hell.If you haven't figured it out by now..... I hated this movie with all my heart and soul. If I could go back in a time machine and either stop Hitler's reign, or this movie from being made, it would be a difficult choice.

coop720 The most retarded script, plot, acting and general movie.The acting is rather draining and so superficial. There's no emotion or convincing me these actors really fit the role. All Vinnie Jones does is act cockney and shout "slut" and "bitch" for most of the movie and Tony Shiena plays a horribly sporadic character who you know, you just want to stab.The music is horribly repetitive and sleazy, but well-played, but obviously not well-thought-of. Needed a bit more flesh and interesting movie conventions that a soundtrack needs.Just don't buy it, you know it will be bad and everyone is saying it and please don't recommend it.

Cyber Lanes Just turned up in Melbourne, Australia in December 2007. Never a good sign! Not only straight to video, but late to video.I've seen Vinnie Jones drag other crappy movies from total crap to watchable crap (say Condemned or Slipstream). A true scenery chewer, one of the best.But even Jebus himself couldn't have saved this woeful turkey. Started bad, got worse and surprisingly even worse.I can tolerate the bad acting, the bad script and bad music but the direction was truly pedestrian.Avoid at all cost, I want by 2 dollars and 2 hours back!