Theo Robertson You can guarantee Americans to make a movie that plays up to ethnic stereotypes . It's interesting to see that Hollywood rarely makes films set in present day Germany possibly because they're shocked that's there's a famine of goosestepping Nazis . Not so Celtic nations where the IRA are gallant freedom fighters or Scotland where the Clans are united in fighting for freedom led by an American born Aussie with his face painted blue . If nothing else then a film featuring the Loch Ness Monster produced in America should be worth watching just for a laugh . The bad news is this film isn't even bad enough to qualify for guilty pleasure material From the opening scene nothing about this film feels accurate as we see yachts sailing around in the background and a couple of American scientists lament that " The broads here don't put out unless you marry them " which leads me to believe no one is trying in any context within or outside the film to paint an accurate picture of Scotland Within moments one of the scientists ends up as a light lunch for Nessie and the surviving scientist makes his way to shore where strangely he doesn't contact the police to let them know that his colleague has just been eaten . Is this to convey how greedy he is and how he might come a cropper at a later stage ? Make your own mind up It's not enough to just make a simple film with a simple premise about the Loch Ness Monster and the plotting deviates all over the place where in turns it becomes a thriller and has a subplot about an old German plane conveniently lying at the bottom of Loch Ness as if the producers have got fed up with the main plot and want to introduce an Alistair Maclean story Being Scottish I can promise you that none of the accents are close to resembling any Scottish accent I have heard and the accents sound like an American putting on a fake English accent while trying to sound Irish as in " OH'll shut yoo with this goon lassie " . Despite being set in 1981 it features Scottish soldiers wearing 1950s battle dress armed with guns that were obviously bought from a toy shop and when you've got a film this amateurish you know what to expect from the monster which resembles a paper maiche glove puppet

InzyWimzy Oh Larry Buchanan, we do have fun! Other than B schlockers Attack of the Eye Creatures and Zontar the Thing from Venus, this is the next of Larry's movies that I have had the fortune of seeing. I haven't personally been to Scotland, but a lot of faux Scots accents didn't seem to help convince me they were there either. Is it just me or a magic trick how the Scottish accents drift in and out especially during extended dialogue scenes. Hey, they had to sell it somehow I guess.Kudos to Doc Livingston for playing Scot eccentric Jack Stewart who provides the most entertainment out of the lot. Jack's daughter (played by Miki McKenzie) is nice to look at and has the best effort in sounding passably Scottish. I won't try to give away about the movie's main attraction, but let's just say that it has really shiny velour skin in sunlight..at least from the neck up. The nose bubbles added a nice touch.Larry shows his ability to switch from day to night and back to day scenes. Hey, at least they got to shoot the film in sunny weather. Although far from a good movie, Loch Ness Horror is a manageable work by Mr Buchanan and definitely earns it's 'B' grading.

Coventry A few buddies and myself have the strange hobby of seeking out really horrendous and utterly obscure (for a good reason) horror flicks and then subsequently watching them under the influence of mind-broadening consumer goods like alcohol and/or soft drugs. Surely a lot of people do this, but they watch movies like the "Godzilla" remake, whereas we torment our eyes and brains with stuff like "The Loch Ness Horror". And, eureka, this is a prototypic bad movie! We open traditionally, with bag pipes music during the opening credits. This is, of course, to emphasize extra to us dumb viewers that the story is supposed to take place in the Scottish highlights and not in director Larry Buchanan's birthplace Texas. For that exact same reason, the cast members are seemingly also instructed to overact tremendously and talk with talk with atrocious accents. The American marine biologist Prof. George Sanderson arrives in Loch Ness with some brand new and highly sophisticated sonar equipment to track down the whereabouts of the legendary monster in the lake. Meanwhile, there are many other parties hanging around the lake, like a group of kids on a Science Camp (what a boring way to spend your vacation), retired army generals looking for a Luftwaffe plane that crashed in the lake during WWII and a bunch of thieves and failed scientists that are steeling the monster's egg. You would think that these numerous sub plots bring some diversity and excitement in the plot, but unfortunately that's not the case. "Loch Ness Horror" is an overall boring flick with only a couple of noteworthy elements. The monster itself, for example, is a delightfully cheesy creation with cute eyes and a smoky breath. His teeth also glow in the dark, which is quite useful when you're dumb enough to go out on a boat ride in the middle of the night. Near the end of the film, the remaining cast members were more interested in the lost Luftwaffe plane than in the monster, so it was about time to wrap it up. "Loch Ness Horror" is carefully recommended in case you're a fan of bad B-movies from the 80's, but be advised that it contains an overload of senseless dialogs and a bizarrely rushed ending that makes it look as if the film suddenly ran out of budget.

LJ27 Although I like some other films made by this director, this is the only one I ever paid to see in a theater. I never made it to the end before I walked out. The ad showed a neat-looking monster, but the puppet/parade float used in this film looks nothing like it. Actually, I didn't know this was made by the same guy who did THE EYE CREATURES when I went to see it. Had I known that, there's no way I'd have paid to watch it. Some movies are so bad they are good but this is not one of them.