Poseidon-3 What if they made a movie and no one could watch it? Perhaps it's not quite THAT bad, but it's close. Alda, Rooney, Carter and Tupou play four naval crewmen during WWII who become shipwrecked on a south sea island and who stumble upon a beached, old ship called the Curmudgeon. On board is mysterious and old-fashioned Niven, who guzzles scotch from a never-ending bottle and who wishes to get his rust bucket back in order and on to Australia. While looking for applicable supplies, the men are joined by gun-toting Dunaway, who winds up boarding the ship as well. The motley crew works on getting the ship seaworthy and heads off to Australia, but not before encountering the enemy and not before Alda discovers some "shocking" secrets about Niven. All through the film, old newsreels and classic footage from the 30's and 40's is inserted for comedic and/or ironic effect. Sometimes, the footage is more interesting or entertaining than any of the strained, dull or pointless new material that makes up the bulk of the film, though none of it is very arresting, in any case. Niven gives a laid back performance, to say the least. Alda is his typical self, which will appeal to some viewers more than others. Dunaway looks great, despite the lack of fashionable clothes or glamour and she also has a bit of spunk, at least at first. However, she's not given a lot to do and the part ends up as thankless. Rooney claims to have no memory of making the film at all according to his auto-bio and despite the reportedly trying conditions where it was filmed. Carter mostly hollers and eats baked beans. It's a bad film with very little to recommend it. If it were just a bit worse, it could count as campy or unintentionally funny, but it's just plain bad. Misguided, choppy and banal are other words that could be used to describe it. It's not the jewel of anyone's resume, but it's got to be one of the least notable films on Dunaway's, especially for this time period.

ptb-8 What seems like a good idea and with a very talented cast and good timing (Faye Dunaway was a huge star after Bonnie and Clyde) this appalling waste of everything has not improved with 25 years of many equally bad films becoming the norm. No wonder poor old MGM was dying. I would like to know the budget because it looks reasonably low, given most of the 'action' is aboard Niven's leaky old boat. I saw this film in 1969 in Sydney at MGM's own Liberty Theatre and even then as a 15 year old I thought it pretty bad. Seeing it again last night I know how and why it is a sad waste. It even commits the major cardinal sin of showing stock footage of the old tub 'sinking' at the climax of the film...NOT newsreel footage of WW2 which is splattered throughout, but obviously just cheap tinted crap of some other bow going down. MGM did this before with THE LAST VOYAGE, inserting stock at a crucial moment, infuriating and cheating everyone watching, and I was equally irritated with it happening here. Alan Alda was a surprise, as I had forgotten he was in this film and often photographed here quite like Elvis...don't laugh, it struck me several times that if Elvis had an acting male relative the same age he would look a lot like like Alan Alda in this film.

summ-1 This movie has all the elements of a great movie, with a suspense ending. The Ever-Lasting Bottle of Scotch, was a wonderful touch and I for one would love to have a bottle just like that. This movie, though far-fetched, was a wonderful imaginative film, and usually the type that had not only comedy, imagination, but great acting as well. It looked like they were all having fun in the making of it, and I found it hilarious while watching it in Calgary Alta .

Boyo-2 This movie (I use the expression loosely) has been on television recently as part of a Mickey Rooney tribute. Well that's some tribute! I couldn't even begin to describe how awful this movie is. With a director like Frankenheimer, stars like Niven, Dunaway, Rooney and Alan Alda, this might have looked good on paper, but the movie itself is indescribable.