Thomas Clement (Mr. OpEd) I was almost an hour in and gave up. This is without a doubt one of the dullest, unnecessarily loquacious, poorly edited, and cripplingly paced movies I've seen in any genre, let alone horror/comedy. If it got better, I didn't care.There is only one good scene in the first half, and that is when Alley encounters the dead child. That's it.The score by John Lee Whitener is pretty good, despite the already clichéd delay-fall-away sounds. Either he vowed to never work on another film after this or changed his name.So, in sum, not remotely funny, not remotely scary...reach for the remote.

ElijahCSkuggs Back in the day, during the VHS rental period, when you could walk down isle after isle, genre after genre, seeing all types of unknown flicks, you'd always happen to walk by one more than the other. Or just notice one a tad more than the others because of the ridiculous covers. The Boneyard happened to be one of these movies for me. And it took me over a decade to finally see the evil, grinning poodle movie. Well, that was my impression anyways.The Boneyard revolves around a psychic woman, a charismatic detective and his wet-behind the ears partner who team up with a morgue crew to stop some ancient supernatural evil......demons. To stop demons.The Boneyard more or less succeeds in a being a pretty good horror flick. With surprisingly good music (which you should notice right away), some over-the-top acting which makes you smile more than roll your eyes, and some very fun make-up effects. Though, The Boneyard does have problems taking itself serious during emotional scenes, and the tension builders take too long and eventually grow tiresome instead of frightening. I also would have appreciated a little more violence/gore. But no biggie it seemed they spent most of their cash on the make-up effects which were definitely cool.Another thing this movie has going for it is the hero. Or should I say, heroine. I'm actually one who is very much annoyed by all the horror flicks these days that are riddled with skinny, gorgeous women who by bullsh!t chance survive the unbelievable. In the Boneyard it's a tad different, even though our main character is a woman, she's a very overweight and average looking woman. It worked, it was unique, funny and it's something I really appreciated seeing.With The Boneyard delivering some fun running around, some cool effects and a nice score it made for a pretty enjoyable 90 minutes. Definitely give it a look if you're looking for a clear-your-mind and enjoy type horror flick. Oh, being a big fan of horror movies would suit you well.

capkronos Detective Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his dimwit partner Gordon (Jim Eustermann) coax troubled 300 lb. psychic Alley Oates (Deborah Rose) out of retirement when a series of unexplained homicides start adding up. Clues lead the trio to a mortuary one night where the dead bodies of three Asian children are resurrected into slime-spewing ghouls who trap the principal characters in the basement and go on a gory killing/possession spree.After a slowwwww start (and a "huh?" flashback that is SUPPOSED to explain things), this really picks up and becomes a nifty little horror comedy with a good sense of humor, attempts at characterization and some surprisingly cool comic book-style FX (like a giant mutant poodle!). Good supporting roles for veteran character actors Nelson, Norman Fell (as a mortician with a ponytail) and Phyllis Diller (as the cranky night desk clerk who transforms into a creature that will make your eyes pop out of your head!). The director also scripted and did the FX for this fun feature.

Ivan Ravenous When I saw the first 40 or so minutes of the Boneyard, I was delighted, because it was very scary. The little-girl zombies were frightening, and it had a great Aliens 3-like atmosphere. Unfortunately, the film really goes downhill after the half-way point, with the huge mutant poodle being the worst of it.I'd recommend the first half for some really good scares and tension, but the second half really ruined it all for me.