Comeuppance Reviews When an evil gang of middle-eastern terrorists led by the sinister Abdul (Vossoughi) comes to Beverly Hills, well, terror ensues. Their main target is Margaret (Heslov), daughter of The President (no actual name for The President is ever said) (Smith). They kidnap her while she's shopping and spirit her away to "the old bean factory". While LAPD Captain Stills (Cam) is crankily and dyspeptically working his way through the situation, it becomes evident to all concerned that only one man can rescue Margaret, take down the terrorists, and restore law and order to Beverly Hills: HACK STONE (Stallone). (Hack Stone is not an anagram for Frank Stallone; we checked). Will the fantastically-named Hack Stone, who is a former Special Forces soldier and now Karate instructor, be able to complete his mission? Or will terror reign at the old bean factory...er, I mean, BEVERLY HILLS? Find out today... Here's a movie that delivers what it promises - terrorists come to Beverly Hills. It also gets sillier and sillier as it goes along. It starts out fairly seriously, with comments about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and the threat of terrorism in our time, which actually makes 'Terror fairly topical even today. Well, about as much so as Terror Squad (1988), Hostage (1987), or Scorpion (1986). VERY quickly, however, we are launched headlong into a highly-entertaining morass of ridiculousness that we as viewers do not return from. Thanks to its rock-bottom budget, we get some classic nonsensical dubbing/dialogue, wonderfully stupid chase/shooting scenes, and the whole outing has that vibe of absurdity that fans of fun movies will recognize immediately. It's almost like a cousin of Provoked (1989), and there's even a McKeiver Jones III-like character. And that's the key to Terror in Beverly Hills - its characters. Even with all the preposterous goings-on, what stands out are the characters, no matter how small they are in the overall scheme of things. Of course, we have the aforementioned Cam Mitchell, who puts in a performance that enlivens the proceedings. Then we have the great William Smith, perfectly cast as The President. Unfortunately, like most of the other characters, his voice was dubbed, so his trademark gravel is not heard. Naturally, there's Hack Stone, AKA Frank Stallone, who ties it all together. The main difference between Stone and Stills is that Stone drinks regular Pepsi (with a very prominent place on his desk) but Stills prominently drinks Diet Pepsi. Have the Pepsi people ever seen this movie? But the smaller parts, the incidental roles, are what really make 'Terror a gem. There's Crystal, the 911 dispatcher who really cares about her job and has terrific typing skills, there's Brian Leonard as Tony Motta, the enthusiastic and pushy TV news anchor, and there's Captain Leonard (the McKeiver guy), who really shines as an LAPD detective. But the show is well and truly stolen by the charming interplay between Bruce and Gandhi, two locals. All that isn't surprising, as director Myhers was primarily known as an actor himself, but he did direct one movie per decade in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Obviously this was his 80's entry, released in the golden year of 1989. Myhers passed away shortly thereafter in 1992. Evidently the old bean factory that is so central to the story was a real place, as in the end credits, the California Bean Growers Association are thanked. You don't see that every day. In the end, Terror in Beverly Hills is a ton of silly and absurd fun, and despite its limited resources, it is vastly better than The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991). If you only see one movie where something bad happens to Beverly Hills, see this one.

Leofwine_draca TERROR IN BEVERLY HILLS is a Z-grade action flick from 1989 whose unbelievable storyline sees the president's daughter kidnapped by Arab terrorists and held hostage in Beverly Hills. Gruff-talking cop Cameron Mitchell isn't up to the task of rescuing her, so he calls in special forces man Frank Stallone to do the job. If you've ever wondered why Frank never had his brother Sly's success, you'll see that his wooden acting as evinced here was good enough reason. The quality of this movie is on the level of a typical independent flick, with poor-quality acting across the board and a generally sloppy feel. You'll be hard pressed to get any enjoyment from it at all, even if it does star cult favourite William Smith as the US president, of all people.

Woodyanders A group of evil no-good terrorists from the Middle East abduct the president's daughter Margaret (an irritatingly shrill portrayal by Lisa Hayland Heslov) while she's out shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills (they even blow up a car as a distraction). It's up to erstwhile special forces agent and ace martial artist Hack Stone (the almighty Frank Stallone in peak two-fisted macho form) to save the day.Boy, does this uproariously awful clunker possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: We've got ham-fisted (mis)direction by John Myhers (who also wrote the gloriously asinine script), ineptly staged action set pieces, the terrorists are all crude stereotypes (their ruthless leader who naturally has some kind of personal beef with Hack Stone is even named Abdul!), clumsy use of strenuous slow motion, pathetic (far from) special effects, a mechanically bouncy synthesizer score, plain cinematography, tin-eared dialogue ("Don't you worry about anything -- that Hack don't kill that easy"), lots of excessive and blatant product placement for Pepsi, and even some tasty gratuitous female nudity thanks to a scene that takes place in a strip club. The fact that legendary B-pic god Big Bill Smith's voice as the president was obviously dubbed by another actor who sounds absolutely nothing like Big Bill further adds to this flick's considerable cheeseball charm. Moreover, Cameron Mitchell contributes a hilariously cranky turn as the supremely irascible Captain Stills, who curses like an angry truck driver throughout and complains a lot about how he's on the cusp of collecting a full pension. An absolute craptastic hoot.

okibeav My hat goes off to John Myers, if I were wearing a hat. This movie manages to cram into about 90 minutes every cliché known to the action genre. Take a disillusioned serviceman who just wants to be left alone, a misunderstood Middle Eastern terrorist, and an unending supply of B-Grade actors, add in over $50 worth of special effects, and you have one hell of a movie. It can't get any better. When terrorists kidnap the president's daughter and kill her security detail of 3 Secret Service agents, naturally, only one man can save her. No need to call in the FBI Hostage Rescue Teams or military commandos, because one lone Special Forces soldier is called back on active duty by the Commandant Of The Marine Corps. (Why a Marine is giving orders to a separated Army member is never addressed.) With his trusty coil of blue rope and an M-16 with one magazine of bullets, Hack Stone (Frank Stallone) enters the terrorists lair of "the old bean factory". But the evil, Third World bad guys play dirty pool by kidnapping Hack's wife and son. Using stealth, ingenuity, and some form of martial arts no one has ever heard of, Hack sends the bad guys off to meet Allah, one by one. Will Hack, working alone in the bean factory save the presidents daughter? Will the Chief of Police, just days away from retirement, save Hack's family? And will the annoying newscaster who looks and sounds a hell of a lot like Jon Lovitz ever appear in another film? For the answers to these and other important questions, like what's with all the cans of Diet Pepsi, or when did the presidents daughter get a chance to change her underwear, you'll have to watch the film. Good luck finding it, I got my copy in a used video flea market for $5, and after 6 years of faithful service, it has spoken it's last cliché. It was produced by A.I.P.Home Video, which I believe does not have a web site (might be out of business). If you enjoy movies with minimal plot, zero originality, not very special effects,bad lighting and audio, and endless technical errors, this is your movie. This movie contains gratuitous female nudity, liberal use of the f*** word, and all around bad acting. Not recommended for children or people without felony convictions. I love this film! Mrs. Stallone must be proud. Two fine actors from one family. Watch out, Baldwin Brothers! UPDATE: AS of 2002 (or so) this "film" is now available on DVD. You can find it in the bargain bin of less reputable video stores, or get it on ebay (Postage is usually more than the purchase price). Just like the VHS version, audio and lighting are less than desirable. No cast or director comments. I would have loved to hear the back story on making this masterpiece.