RavenGlamDVDCollector Okay, I saw this when I was a youngster, late Seventies, it wasn't new then, already an old movie, shown as a midnight show. But it isn't midnight show material at all, not that I remember having any thoughts about that fact, no Sir, I was much too taken with Mary Tamm's long, shapely legs, thank you. Not that I knew the actress by name then, it was just, wow, that implied-nudity scene with the girl stepping out of her dress, barefoot, the calves... But decades later I needed a refresher course, I remembered the title, that it was actually a bummer notable mostly for the ridiculousness of a man falling in love with a demonic obviously if perversely feminine tree om which somebody carved out apparently 73W but actually it's an upside-down MEL. Much to my surprise, doing the research, downloading that bit, turns out it's ol' Alexis Lady DYNASTY herself back in her heyday (and look at those legs! red-painted toenails even! I'd never have thought... witchy Alexis you glamour doll! ) getting territorial with a tree and coming in a poor second.Anyway, recently saw Suzy Kendall in an episode of THE PERSUADERS!, "The Man In The Middle" and I just had to see more of that lovely, lovely girl, and when I found out on Wikipedia she was in TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS I decided to go for seeing this old title on DVD, even though I had no recollection of her, bad sign.Was I disappointed. Was I! Small part, and she isn't nearly as great as in that episode where she was agent Kay Hunter, dream-girl deluxe. Two years later, still beautiful, but the gloss is gone, :( oh bummer. That's life.Oh for crying out loud take that tiger bit and you know what you can do with it---! Ditto for the two watchers. The Penny Farthing bit is blandly executed, of interest only because it is Suzy Kendall after all, even if a poor excuse of her abilities. The Joan Collins bit is kind of a classic. Sort of a Collector's Item in the true sense of the term, though I prefer my prize golden moments more glamorous, me being that RavenGlamDVDCollector guy with an eye for the chicks, but okay, DYNASTY fans won't believe Joan was ever in such dreck. Kinda hilariously good dreck but dreck none the less. As for the cannibalistic Luau bit, with that creepy old troll guy, I needn't explain my fascination with that one. Mary Tamm (who I hear is with us no more) was beautiful. Do I wanna see the butchery bits? Of bloody course not. Mary Tamm should have been in a decent movie, like Raquel Welch's FATHOM, if you catch my drift. :) Not this cut-up in a suitcase mess. Yuck! Anyway that meat looked yummy. I'm just saying.As for the bit on Wikipedia stating the opinion that Kim Novak gave the only weak performance, I think it's based on the first sight of the character, who appears shell-shocked. She is supposed to be that way. So, unfair comment, by people that never even paid attention.Make no mistake that this is very very off-beat and in many ways an embarrassment to watch. Especially the tiger and old bicycle bit. The trunk bit is such a hoot anybody could be forgiven for stooping so low as to watch it. As for the disturbing last segment, Mary Tamm has nice legs so okay I won't pursue that one any further. But at least I can now, almost four decades later, appreciate her in instant replay, freeze frame and slow motion. Isn't technology grand?Absolute junk but still a treasure trove.

Michael_Elliott Tales That Witness Madness (1973) ** (out of 4) In a futuristic asylum, Dr. Tremayne (Donald Pleasence) is talking to another doctor (Jack Hawkins) about four of his most troubled patients. As they're each introduced we hear their story of how they went mad. Up first we have a young boy who has an imaginary friend who just happens to be a tiger but his mother doesn't believe him. Up next is a man who owns an antique shop and goes back in time due to a penny-farthing bike. The third story involves a man who finds a human-shaped tree and brings it home, which doesn't sit well with his wife. The final story involves a man who needs a human sacrifice to protect the soul of his mother. TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS was directed by Freddie Francis and was just one of many anthology tales that were released during this era. While none of the four stories are awful, it's quite clear that none of them are very good either. The biggest problem is that all four stories just never reach a very interesting level and the majority of the time you're just sitting there not really caring what's going on. With that said, each story usually has at least one or two good parts no matter how bland the rest is. The fourth story is probably the weakest but there's a murder sequence that is quite brutal. The third story is laughable but there's a tree attack sequence that really seems to have been lifted by THE EVIL DEAD years later. The film does feature a pretty good cast, including Joan Collins but in the end not even they can save the material. There's no question that this was trying to get in on the TALES FROM THE CRYPT craze but it's too bad that the screenplay lets everyone down.

BA_Harrison The portmanteau/anthology format is very hit and miss with many examples of the genre having at least one weak tale hidden amongst the good ones, or vice versa. Tales That Witness Madness, however, is fairly unique in that every segment—including the bizarre wraparound story—is a dud, meaning that usually dependable horror director Freddie Francis and his seasoned cast of character actors can do very little to prevent the film from being a crushing bore.Jennifer Jayne's nonsensical script sees Dr. Nicholas (Jack Hawkins) arriving at a futuristic hospital for the insane, where psychiatrist Dr. R.C. Tremayne (Donald Pleasance) is convinced that he has discovered what caused four of his patients to go mad. In order to convince his doubtful colleague, he recounts the details of each case: loony number one is Paul (Russell Lewis), a young boy whose imaginary friend Mr. Tiger proves to be very real indeed, devouring the lad's constantly bickering parents; patient number two, Timothy Patrick (Peter McEnery), loses his marbles after taking a trip into the past on a supernatural penny-farthing that is controlled by the ever-changing portrait of his Uncle Albert; fruitcake three, Brian (Micheal Jayston), kills his gorgeous wife (Joan Collins) in order to get it on with the malevolent tree trunk he brings into his home; and the last nutter is literary agent Auriol Pageant (Kim Novak) whose latest client, Hawaiian writer Kimo (Micheal Petrovitch), is planning a special feast with Auriol's tasty teenage daughter as the main course.After telling his unbelievable (and dreadfully dull) tales to a still sceptical Dr. Nicholas, the seemingly unhinged Tremayne is escorted to one of his own padded cells; shortly thereafter, Dr. Nicholas is paid a visit by Mr. Tiger!!! Dull, uninspired and cursed with some very lame 'twist' endings, this collection of dreadful tales offers horror fans very little to get excited about—with the exception of one scene that may be of particular interest to Evil Dead fans: Joan Collins' character is attacked by trees and creepers in the middle of a forest, the branches ripping off her clothes and groping her (body double's?) breasts. Sound familiar?3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for presence of the lovely Joan Collins.

Woodyanders Psychiatrist Dr. R.C. Tremayne (the always fine Donald Pleasence) and colleague Dr. Nicholas (Jack Hawkins in his final film role) investigate the case histories of four inmates being kept in an experimental asylum. 1st and most whimsical tale, "Mr. Tiger" - Little boy Paul Patterson (cute Russell Lewis) can't convince his constantly bickering parents (played to snarky perfection by Georgia Brown and Donald Houston) that his "imaginary" tiger friend is actually real. 2nd and most offbeat yarn, "Penny Farthing" - Timothy Patrick (likable Peter McEnery) purchases an antique bicycle which enables him to go back in time to the Victorian era where he meets fair maiden Beatrice (the extremely charming and comely Suzy Kendall). 3rd and most perverse segment, "Mel" - Jeolous, possessive housewife Bella Thompson (the ever classy and lovely Joan Collins) becomes really upset when her husband Brian (solid Michael Jayston) becomes infatuated with a sensuous, but lethal sentient tree (!). 4th and most twisted vignette, "Luau" - Stuck-up rich lady Auriol Pageant (a wonderfully radiant Kim Novak) holds a big bash in which the surprise ingredient in the meat turns out to be none other than her sweet virginal daughter Virginia (the stunningly gorgeous Mary Tamm). Director Freddie Francis, working from a witty and inspired script by British fright film scream queen Jennifer Jayne, handles the macabre material with his customary crisp and polished assurance, punctuating the grisly anecdotes with a nice, dry line in quirky black humor and offering up a fair amount of gore. Norman Warwick's slick, sparkling cinematography gives the picture an attractive glossy look. Bernard Ebbinghouse's alternately groovy and spooky score likewise scores a bull's eye. Deliciously droll fun.