Leofwine_draca SUPER TANKER has to be the worst SyFy Channel-funded movie ever. Even the title is boring. This is the pits, worse even than all the dodgy disaster movies they make and the monster flicks combined. The plot involves some nuclear cloud that has the power to form and destroy whatever it comes into contact with, and there's a lot of stuff on ships with various officious types ranting and struggling to prevent a disaster and to cover the whole thing up before anybody finds out.The film's leads are vacuous and wooden and the whole thing is only notable for the familiar actors they've roped into appearing; David Schofield and Ben Cross must have been really hard up to agree to star in this nonsense. The special effects of the cloud are just about adequate but the various CGI ships and helicopters are appalling indeed. I like the way the scriptwriter plays casual racism for laughs, nice touch there bud. Just kidding...SUPER TANKER is a real mess and has no redeeming features whatsoever.

John M Upton Two of my hard earned pounds were parted with on the impulse purchase of the DVD of the film so bad that for the UK straight to video bargain bin market they actually changed the title and I had to submit its new identity to IMDb!! The plot (for want of a better word) revolves around some unstable element extracted from a meteorite that is now causing a few problems (in this instance accidentally wiping a large chunk of Canada off the map following an accident) so rather wisely the authorities decide to discreetly get rid of it before anyone starts asking any awkward questions.So far so good until we are first subjected to this film's extensive CGI effects budget. Literally tens of dollars must have been spent creating a CGI super tanker (which by the way in no way resembles the very nice DVD cover art work) as the aforementioned unstable material is transported away with the intention of sinking it in the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean.Does everything go to plan? Of course not...So with everything going wrong, daft plot devices - sorry - deadly clouds that destroy everything they come into contact with being released all over the place and general panic amongst the powers that be, it is time to bring in our heroes straight from central casting.The obligatory trio is made up of the usual suspects, cardboard characters that consist of the emotionally damaged hero, his intelligent eye candy sister and superfluous comedy side kick Japanese guy, the history and juxtapositions of which are established in convenient three years earlier style flashback that actually has little whatsoever to do with the 'plot' at all.They immediately clash with the military guy before descending into the bowels of the ship (or a disused warehouse in Bromsgrove which is more what it really looks like) and make a total Horlicks of the whole rescue operation, releasing another comedy cloud that proceeds to use up another ten dollars of the CGI budget as it wipes out Honolulu.What is surprising in the midst of the cheap as chips mess is that there is some decent acting talent here, whilst the three specialists who are flown in to save the day are instantly forgettable, there is the presence of Ben Cross who was Spock's father in the recent Star Trek reboot but quite why he agreed to appear in this tripe is anyone's guess.The Greek captain of the ship is also a decent actor and character who deserved more screen time and a far better script as well. The rest of the characters are so dumb as to be utterly unbelievable, not least whoever is flying the Super Tanker's seemingly endless supply of helicopters around, constantly not learning their lesson and flying into those deadly clouds every time in order to provide a further explosion to wake up the audience who by now have most certainly dozed off if they have not already walked out.So overall it is a mess and yet another example of a poor film that probably started off as a good idea very badly executed having been saddled with a dire script, twenty dollar special effects budget (All right, lets be generous, say thirty five dollars) and then unleashed on the unsuspecting public.Memo to self, stop buying cheap DVD's from bargain bins...

TheLittleSongbird I should have expected this, knowing SyFy's overall track record, which is a sprinkle of tolerable movies amidst a sea of awful and bottom-of-the-barrel ones. I can describe Super Tanker in several words and phrases, and super isn't one of them. More like hilariously awful and bottom-of-the-barrel. Is it the worst SyFy movie? Not quite, with Titanic II and Quantum Apocalypse. But it is down there in the bottom 10, maybe even bottom 5.Actually, I would go as far to say that Super Tanker is one of the worst films I have seen in a while, making atrocities like 2010: Moby Dick, Camel Spiders, Almighty Thor, Dinocroc vs SuperGator AVH: Alien vs Hunter and Battle of Los Angeles Best Picture worthy in comparison.Super Tanker, like a lot of SyFy's output looks really cheap. The scenery and settings have a really dull look to them, the costumes do look like they had been retrieved from a dressing up box and the effects are some of the most slapdash and inconsistent I've seen. Add to that, a really disjointed, predictable and sluggishly paced story, the cheesiest dialogue I have seen from any movie in the past three months, repetitive stock footage and clichés enough to fill a 500-1000 page novel and you have a film that is just as disastrous and the characters', none of which you care for by the end of the day, predicaments.But I can't not mention the acting, which is either overdone(the admiral) or non-existent(the leads), even from the bikini clad girls. All in all, if I could rewrite the title I would call it Awful Stinker, it's that bad. 0/10 Bethany Cox

newwick I watched this so you don't have to! Stumbled upon this amazing film tonight, and - what a treat! It is the most incredibly bad film I've seen in a long time. I found a steaming pile of Hollywood offal that makes you wonder whether studios are running off tax deductions alone.It comes complete with just awful computer graphics, repeated pentagon stock footage and an appalling textbook plot. The scenes which were so badly stitched together, the noses were removed from faces with no bother to replace them... It had husky voiced commanders evil villainous admirals, innocent children crouching in paradise as the giant cloud causes the city to explode... and tough guys who won't give up. Oh, and the bird.Even the bikini babes were C grade in this film. I just can't express how bad this film is. It could almost be a comedy if it weren't so poorly put together. I was laughing at the beginning, but dry reaching by the end. I was gasping for it like a drowning person running out of air. 1 out of 10.