Predrag Don't be mislead, this is one stupid movie. It's supposed to be, and succeeds with flying colors. Before the "Scary Movie" franchise there was "Student Bodies", with office supplies and vegetables as murder weapons, rubber chicken voice alterations and co-eds so overwhelmed by hormones that they can't help but invoke the serial killer stalking young lovers. The movie starts off with a bang (death by paper clip, anyone?) and the on-screen body count throughout is amusing, but it just seems to drag on and on and on. when everything's said and done, this movie is simply too stupid for it's own good.The story is silly. There are plot holes, big enough to drive a truck through. (With big blinking signs pointing to them in some places.) Teenagers die in silly ways for having unauthorized sex. The dysfunctional heroine tries to figure out who is doing it in order to clear her name. (It always seems like she is in the wrong place at the wrong time.) And wait until you see who gets crowned prom queen. Although, it's Written and co-directed by Carson show writer and successful Woody Allen collaborator Mickey Rose, it's certainly no "Bananas" or even "Take the Money and Run" but it's a diverting enough warm up before a Wayans and Zucker marathon.... Hasn't there been enough senseless killing? Let's have a murder that makes sense!Overall rating: 5 out of 10.

Michael_Elliott Student Bodies (1981)BOMB (out of 4) This spoof of horror movies takes place at Lamab High where kids wonder off to have sex and are murdered in a variety of ways. Suspicion falls on a girl (Kristin Bell) who has issues about sex. That's pretty much the only way to explain the storyline to this film. After the success of AIRPLANE! more and more spoofs started to happen and with the slasher craze going at full blast it was just obvious to combine the two. Sadly, STUDENT BODIES is one of the worst spoofs you're going to see and it's impossible to consider it a slasher since there's really no slashing going on. The film starts off as we get the classic POV of the killer looking at a house where we know the murder is going to take place. We're introduced to "The Breather," who of course is the killer who is constantly breathing way too loud. This opening ten-minute sequence will let the viewer know if they wish to go on with the rest of the film because the type of humor here just keeps getting repeated throughout. We have the killer breathing too loud. He goes to murder but steps in gum. He could pick an axe to murder with but instead takes silly weapons like an egg plant. We get scenes where the suspect, who is of course innocent, gets caught up with the dead bodies. This film even goes as far as to add subtitles to try and get jokes including a running body count. I know this film has a good cult following but I found it nearly impossible to get through for a number of reasons. The film doesn't contain any good writing and instead we've just got one obvious joke after another. If you've seen at least one slasher film then you're going to know all the obvious jokes like how a victim always hurts themselves by running into a place they can't escape. These jokes aren't funny but what made me violently hate this film is how annoying the attempts of laughs are. The non-stop heavy breathing it's funny but annoying. The way the killer is constantly picking silly ways to kill isn't funny. The way the music score is overdone is just bad. There's nothing funny about this movie including the various ways it tries to show off suspects that pop up every few scenes. I thought the performances were bad, the direction poor and in reality there wasn't a single good thing here. God knows that the slasher genre offered up some really horrid movies (GRADUATION DAY, HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE) but at least those films offered up something that fans could enjoy. That being sex, nudity, violence or gore. This film offers up none of those and what's worse is how bad the attempts at comedy are. This here is without question the bottom of the 80s slasher period.

thesar-2 I could fill this entire review with quotes and comedic bits I thought were funny in Student Bodies, a movie I am on the fence with calling "a guilty pleasure."Because, despite the fact it was simply made in order for Paramount to make at least some kind of profit during the writer's strike in 1981, it was actually a well shot and unbelievably well thought out movie – they certainly knew their subject down pat. I am saying that as an adult who has not watched this film in many, many years and knows (now) the history behind the subject matter and why they would make such a movie.Now, allow me to speak as the kid who practically grew up with this movie: I LOVED THIS MOVIE. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it. Okay, not enough to award it 5/5 stars, or even 4.5. In fact, it barely reached 4/5 stars because it's certainly not perfect. While 90% of the jokes were spot on and absolutely hilarious in regards to the FLOOD of late 1970s and 1980 horror films released, the other 10% were just plain silly and not silly-good. In addition, as in most movies, namely comedies but almost exclusively to spoofs, this one followed suit: start with a bang, continue with consistent humor while heading south and finishing in the recycle bin. It's sad how far this fell, and hard, in the last third that it couldn't hold up to the 5/5 stars I wanted to give it. It simply…fell apart.So, that said, I will wholeheartedly recommend the first two-thirds as some of the most ingenious and honest jokes when it comes to the slew of just plain horribly clichéd horrors released during this period of Hollywood's horror fest.A girl babysitting one night invites her boyfriend over in order to have sex with him on the parent's bed. Sound like a recipe for disaster in any/all horror slashers? Duh, that's what this movie's about. Naturally, the couple perishes and friend Toby (Riter) is distraught. But, not enough to keep coincidentally showing up when other sex-crazed teens "get it" before "getting it."Of course, this makes her the prime subject, even though the movie is…literally…telling us everyone's a suspect. God, it's refreshing to see such honesty in a movie. Along with pointing out who should be considered for the killer, the film also presents all the clues we need to know when someone's in danger or how to solve this.I'm not trying to give anything away for anyone who has not seen this (almost) comedic masterpiece; I'm just pointing out that they're pointing out how dumb those numerous horror-of-the-week releases were. And I've seen plenty. And I've done the obligatory countdown to when the killer will appear or roll my eyes when the best friend obviously has an ulterior motive.The movie creators seem almost embarrassed with the product they released, from what I've read. And despite what I stated about it being well shot (not perfect, but not amateurish by any means) it did seem rushed. Still…this was extremely close to the (actual) masterpiece Airplane! with the multiple jokes every minute ratio. Frankly, this movie barely gives us a second to stop laughing and take a "breath" (get it? The killer's name is "The Breather." Ah never mind.)Watch this movie. Sober or not. Preferably not. And with your drug of choice. In fact, there's got to be a dozen drinking games in regards to certain scenes in Student Bodies, such as: how many calls the killer makes (or at least how many times he's on the phone) or how many product placements you can find. Trust me…ask the DR. on how easy they are to spot.Side Note: I would welcome any comments from people who've actually seen this, namely for those who grew up on it, like I did. Guaranteed, we would be laughing our asses of with quotes from the movie or scene recaps, such as: "No, I just said 'click'" or "Ms. Shouldn't-Be-Here-Anyway" or "____ gets me hot" or when the music stops until the call's picked up or "…at 75 cents an hour…" Heck, I've personally used jokes from this movie since the first time I've seen it in the early 1980s, such as the fact I'll never get old and ugly thanks to Cyanide pills: "Death before disfigurement." – Thank goodness practically no one I know has seen this or they would know I plagiarized that line, even though I do eventually give credit to Student Bodies.(The following contains spoilers. In fact, it ruins everything for Student Body Virgins. Now: see the movie and then press on…)Side Note Part II: Above, I wrote the typical (for me, that is) movie review. Now, for personal notes on one of my all time favorite movies (despite the rating.) I loved the character of Malvert, the "ABSURD!" janitor who finds the cheese, pees red and unbelievably is known as "The Stick" in real life. I loved THE ENTIRE opening segment, especially the stairs, the look through the mail slot when there's four window panes, the weapon selection (which was stolen in Scary Movie,) the mother's – oh, God – reaction when she gets home and the fact the babysitter can hear the footsteps over the shower but not the creaky knob-turning. I loved the recurring jokes such as the phone's breath and "___ makes me hot" and the entire funeral & parade scenes. I loved the principal/faculty interrogation scene. I loved the tear wipe-away psych evaluation. I loved the horse-head book ends. I loved the garbage bag check. I loved the handicapped parking spot. And I loved the "It could be any/some-one" conclusion. And I loved the 911 call. And...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

wes-connors We begin on an evening which happens to be Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Jamie Lee Curtis' birthday. A heavy-breathing figure wearing rubber gloves and squishy galoshes enters an unlocked home where babysitter Angela Bressler (as Julie) is anticipating a sexual encounter with hunky boyfriend Keith Singleton (as Charlie). Overcoming sticky stairway gum, "The Breather" manages to find the young couple before committing their dirty act, stabbing her with paper clips and stuffing him in a plastic garbage bag.Homeowners Douglas Cotner and Joan Browning Jacobs (as Mr. and Mrs. Hummers) return, eager to watch "The Dukes of Hazzard" after seeing a bad horror film. They discover the babysitter is not only dead, but also failed to wash the dishes. Nobody mentions the baby. All of the above is very funny and often suspenseful - but, the film slowly peters out. A later funny moment has an announcer coming on to guarantee the film will be rated "R" although the opening contains has the prerequisite frontal nudity.***** Student Bodies (8/7/81) Michael Ritchie ~ Kristen Riter, Matthew Goldsby, Jerry Belson, Joe Flood