nzswanny This is barely funny. I'm having trouble laughing at all the crude humour and sexist jokes in this film. I thought girls always got made fun of, not boys? Well, this film (and lots of other TV shows) proves me right that both boys and girls are made fun of, so that's why I rated this a 6/10, not a 5/10. But this film is definitely extremely sexist, and I'm surprised nobody has pointed that out. It's hard to beileve Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic gave this film a good rating, because the special effects were terrible, the story was crap, the pacing was too fast, the crude humour wasn't too good either and the film was very sexist. I'm going to describe a little more about these flaws and about how this film is, and explain why you probably won't like it (unless you hate boys).SPECIAL EFFECTS:You feel like bashing up your television screen when you see these terrible special effects in a so-called "good movie." The greenscreen is terrible, also. The thumb-thumb was a terrible special effect, the animating on it was absolutely terrible. It was hard to sit through the movie, knowing that this got great reviews, when there's something callled thumb-thumb on it. This can't even be called a movie, the special effects aren't even good-bad like films like Sharknado, Spider Man, Star Wars Episode 1 and Jaws...the special effects is just plain cringe worthy, it's hard to watch without puking all over the floor. And the crazy thing is, this cost 35 million dollars to make! I'd expect 3 million for this crap! And 3 million is way lower than 35 million! Okay, maybe you can cope with bad special effects, but can you cope with what I am going to discuss about next???STORY:A simple story! Nice and simple, not too complicated! Although this flaw that I am going to talk about isn't actually too bad, it's still something to consider for you story lovers out their. Two kids, a 12 year old and a 9 year old, find out that their parents are secret agents, so they become secret agents. That's not too bad a plot...for one of those Disney channel TV movies, that is! But the plot get's worse, believe me...Techno-wizard Fegan Floop and his evil, egg- headed sidekick, Minion, capture the two kid's parents. So, a 12 year old and a 9 year old embark on a mission and become spy kids so they can save the parents in this terrible movie that will guarantee that you kill yourself! Okay, maybe you can cope with bad story, but can you cope with what I am going to discuss about next???PACING:That's right! PACING! The one thing that bugs me in the movie Spy Kids is the pacing! It's way too fast, even for a family movie with bad special effects! As soon as you start to take a breath, another exciting part happens! The movie honestly feels like loads of exclamation marks heaping up onto your television screen, and you won't be able to see the actual movie because of all the exclamation marks! It's very hard to pay attention to the story when the pacing is god awful, especially when you can't find one part in the film where you can take a breath. I hate fast paced movies with a passion, and unless the movie has a great story behind it, I usually need something else to make me like the film. However, Spy Kids hasn't delivered me anything apart from...well, you know. But honestly, the pacing in this film is terrible, and it's hard to sit through this movie like a proper good movie. Okay, maybe you can cope with pacing (luckily), but can you cope with what I am going to discuss about next???CRUDE HUMOUR:FAAAAART! Hahaha, that's hilarious! THUMB-THUMB! A GUY MADE OUT OF THUMBS! Hahaha, that's hilarious! THE SISTER JUST MADE FUN OF HER BROTHER! Hahaha, that's hilarious! I hate crude humour with a passion, as it is very tasteless, and I think lots agree with me that crude humour is tasteless. Spy Kids, however, had loads of crude humour, too much to even call it a family comedy. It's basically more of a horror because of how scary that a film could be this bad. Honestly, I would list this as one of the worst movies ever, and if it weren't a box office success, and had good reviews, I would be cheering right now! I don't think there is much to talk about with crude humour though, so let's just go onto the next one. Maybe you can cope with crude humour, but can you cope with what I am going to discuss about next???SEXISM:I am against this, a LOT! I hate sexism against both boys and girls, however, it really annoys me when movies like this always seem to throw insults at the boys. You could tell, because the brother always got treated like crap. He always seemed to fail in the film, and so did most other male characters in the film, I couldn't find one male character that didn't fail at least once (apart from the father of the two kids). I am surprised nobody complained about this in the bad reviews, because it is the main reason why I hate this movie with a passion. Now, come on, there's no way you can cope with sexism! Is their? Because if their is, then I guess this is the right movie for you! Unless you can cope with all the things I just told you about the film, I recommend you don't watch this film, and that's a final! Overall,I'd rate this 0.9/10!

dangerouselement Spy kids was one of the worst things ever made. This is pretty much the bottom of the barrel. It is absolute SH*T!! Let's discuss the many problems this movie has. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.1. It's really boring. If you've seen the movie you know it looks fun but it is more boring than sitting on a rock.2. AWFUL special effects. Between the hand minion things and the water. Most of the effects make me want to shove forks in my eyes.3. The whole movie doesn't matter. What the f*ck. If you watch this you are wasting humanity.4. The acting. Antonio Banderas is a good actor but he is wasting his time in this sh*t hole.If you like this movie...fine. But it is a piece of sh*t you could catch any number of diseases if you hold the case for one second to long. Save humanity take the disc, dip it in the toilet. Crack it make it suffer bury it until it makes it's way to hell.OK I'm over reacting. It is a piece of sh*t.THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!

zakatak3613 Honestly, I don't know where to start. I first saw this movie when I was nine years old, and it insulted my intelligence then. Having just seen a few fragments recently while my younger siblings were watching it, I decided to do a comprehensive criticism of exactly WHY it was so terrible. And let me tell you, there are plenty of reasons. Here are my top three.Number One: StoryOkay, so the concept of "Parents were spies, kids find out, have to rescue parents before plot to take over the world is successful," isn't actually ALL terrible. It has some holes, and is admittedly pretty cheesy, but isn't so bad, if executed right. Unfortunately, this movie wasn't executed right, for several reasons. First off, where the Tartarus did the script writer get the gods-awful idea to make the villain a kids TV show star?!? Yes, a sadistic, Burton-esque, disturbing kids show which uses mutated spies as it's actors, (more on that later) but seriously? What the heck? I seriously want to know what Muse (or lack thereof) whispered in your ear to have produced this bizarre monstrosity. Why did you choose to make the generic, faceless henchmen into THUMB PEOPLE? Why is your army of indestructible automatons disguised to look like children? Why did you have to make his base a fun house that seemed to have been designed by MC Escher in the middle of the ocean? Why are your supercomputers designed to look like little deformed cyborg brains? (perhaps to resemble the minds of the producers of this movie?) WHY?!? *Ahem, sorry.* Second reason: this movie brought the art of the cliché to an all-new level. Seriously, when my friend and I were watching this, we literally predicted EVERY plot twist. Keep in mind that we were nine-year-olds."Oh look, there's a bad guy who serves the Demon Tellytubbies show guy! I'll bet he's the REAL bad guy, and has some connection with their parent's past!" or "Oh, look, they introduced Uncle Machete, but he doesn't want to help. I wonder how long we'll last until he shows up to save the day?" And so on and so forth. In all, they could have done WAY better with the storyline, which was pretty much just crap.Number Two: Special FX Really guys, did you even try to make these effects look real? I'm all for CG animation, but honestly, you could have gotten better animation results from my 11th grade Graphic's Design class, and we were only using Photoshop! For example, during the scene when Mom and Dad Cortez drove their submarine car off a cliff, there was a glaringly visible change from real car to CG-ed car. All of the other fanciful technology (Escape Sub, Jetpacks, Thumb-Thumbs, Movie Room in Fruit-Loop Guy's castle, etc) was obviously green-screened. The lighting and shading was all off, the coloration was garish, gaudy, and generally crappy, and overall, the animation looked like a bunch of circus clowns came in and covered everything in overly polished balloon latex. It looked that fake. And don't get me started on the crummy rubber suits they did for the mutated spies. Really peoples? To quote the internet term, "DERP." Number Three: Psychological Damage I swear, as a nine-year old, this movie didn't die in my mind easily. Even now, many many years later, it still disturbs me. Maybe I'm overly sensitive, but I saw Lord of the Rings around the same time, and the grisly orcs didn't even make me bat an eye. Yet the Burton-esque feel to the main villain was just too much for me, and the floating eyeballs, mutated dudes with their overly happy squeaking and tittering, and tinkly music-box music didn't help. Seriously, overly cheerful and bizarre kids shows are the stuff of nightmare. It seems like they went all out to make this particular aspect as weird and disturbing as possible, and I really can't understand why. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't SCARY or intense or thrilling like a spy movie should be, it was just WEIRD. Sort of the creepy weirdness that's usually associated with clowns or carousel music. It just felt out of place and frankly, I'm surprised no-one else has sued this company for psychologically scarring their kids. I don't know how to describe it, I just was seriously weirded out by this factor.In all, this movie is scraping the barrel when it comes to entertainment, which is why I'm depressed that some relatively prominent actors like Antonio Banderas lowered their dignity and restating by participating in this blot on the name of film. Maybe they signed on before they realized what they were getting into, I don't know. The acting was the only commendable part of this film, which frankly wasn't much to work with. Kudos to you, the actors for a good effort, but not good enough to salvage this shipwreck. My only thought is that the gods must hate humanity to allow this monstrosity to exist. Which gods, you ask? ALL THE GODS! May mercy be had upon the souls of those who spawned forth this crime against art.

MovieGuy109 I came into Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids expecting stupidity and cliché, but I got something enjoyable and original. It's full of fun special effects and offers little crudeness like this year's previous Shrek in the way of family entertainment value. This is a likable adventure from start to finish and never tries to make itself larger than it appears to be. It's not pretending to be a cultural statement or a book of moral values. It advertises itself as slick entertainment and as a whole, it pulls it off and never really lets us down. A nice change of pace for Rodriguez, after directing a number of violent movies comes up with this most pleasing children's yarn.