seth_yeah Splatter Farm! SPLATTER FARM! Sometimes I see a work of art that just makes me withdraw to reassess my life and the meaning of art. Splatter Farm (SPLATTER FARM!!!) is not really one of them, but it's sort of close. It is the first and only shot-on-video homemade horror film I have seen.Splatter Farm was shot by two teenagers, the Polonia Brothers, who eventually became producers and directors of independent low-budget cult horrors. I wonder how this movie, SPLATTER FARM, ever got distributed, and how it fell into my hands. How? It is about these two kids who-- Wait, no, before I tell you what it's about, I have to tell you what it looks like. The first thing you think when you watch this thing, this "Splatter Farm" is "huh?" This is a home-video. It was shot on a camcorder. It looks like the tapes of your cousin's birthday party from way back when. It doesn't look this way as a stylistic technique-- it looks this way because that's what it is. You see this old house in the country. You see a cat out in a regular yard, not doing anything. You see a kid with an axe, standing over a stuffed dummy... and he begins swinging that axe right onto that stuffed dummy in a manner that indicated this kid, this "actor" has never swung an axe before, and the stuffed dummy begins leaking some red syrup. SPLATTER FARM! A toy keyboard provides the soundtrack, but it's not supposed to sound funny. Splatter Farm. I've never watched a movie like this before.Regaring the "story," it is something like: these two teenagers (the Polonia Brothers) are going to spend the summer vacation with their aunt on her farm-- her Splatter Farm... with the other kid from the opening sequence, that one with the axe (he lives in the barn and does chores). The setting is realistic and grimy because it is a real, old house in the country. Throughout the course of the movie you'll see a mustached teen grunting on a toilet, then excretes a stream of blood and a butcher's knife into the toilet, and he gets up, drooling blood and pulls his underwear up over his mutilated groin (it was just a dream), the aunt constantly hitting on the boys, finally giving one of them a roofie and raping him (which is depicted as someone hopping up and down underneath some blankets on a bed), ol' crazy boy gets ahold of one the brothers and gives him the ol' Splatter Farm with a pitchfork (SPLATTER FARM!), performs fellatio on him, drools out the guy's semen, turns him around, fists him (not explicitly shown) to pull out a handful of pudding (supposed to be feces), licks it then rubs it in his victims face, before sending him up to the great Splatter Farm in the sky. It also contains a scene of a decapitated head being used for self-fellatio before "Haute Tension" made it chic. Oh, and the boys' aunt is also a necrophiliac (with a nicely decomposed corpse wearing pants into which she reaches and sadly pulls out fear in a handful of dust), and then there's a twist regarding incest (again) at the end. The boy who plays the bad killer of SPLATTER FARM actually menaces me, yet he needed to learn how to properly swing an axe. The final scene of him, after murdering everyone, (don't worry about me spoiling the ending, you don't care about the plot when you watch something like this) frolicking and dancing gaily in the field is touching like Mabel reenacting the Death of a Swan in Cassavete's "A Woman Under the Influence." Not really. Everything in this movie (SPLATTER FARM) looks fake, yet, the fact that these boys put their imagination into doing this, it disturbs me.The acting is great, and by great I mean not so great, and by not so great I mean SPLATTER FARM!!!! The people recite their lines as though they were just told what to say before every shot without knowing anything about the movie (they probably wouldn't want to know anyway) (because the movie is Splatter Farm.... SPLATTER FARM!). I don't... you know... I... This looks like the kind of movie my buddies and I would make in high school, for fun... except our themes weren't so sickening.In a way, I want to recommend this to everyone, because it shows a totally different side of homemade film-making that many are not familiar with (I wasn't). And the camera angles, cutting, editing, everything, kinda shows conventions at their most stripped-down and basic... if you see it in this naked light then you can kind of recognize it better when you see it done professionally (check out the strange shot of an oven being lit). I suppose it contains some interesting comments on youthful film making.I bought this used for a dollar from a rental store in a very small Midwestern town. The tape had been stopped and queued about 25% through into movie, indicating that the last person to have rented this probably could not get through this strange video. I would love to have seen that person's reaction. I believe this film is now available on DVD from its distributor's website.Rating: "Splatter Farm" out of "Splatter Farm" SPLATTER FARM!!!!!!

as2tral First off.. let me state. I am a fan of cheesy horror movies... I have made many "home movie" type videos with friends. So... to me this was a fun ride... At times I could not really pick out what was so stimulating about it though. The acting is beyond horrible (but amusingly humorous), the effects are .. well... to tell the truth I have seen worse... somehow the movie was able to keep my interest, but I cannot say it was an extremely fast paced ride. This film is bizarre in this respect.. I have become harder and harder to entertain, but this movie.. well... kept me entertained... I think it does what most "low budget" / "no budget" movies should do. It understood that it did not have to fill a 90 to 120 minute time slot in order to be considered a film. Most movies in this category feel they must stretch the story out so thin that you could see through it or at least beg for it to be over... At about 75 minutes in length it was not too bad... To me as I ponder my interest in this movie, I think it may be the fact it readily appears as a "home video" and because of that aspect, lends itself to an almost voyeuristic quality while viewing... there are some sick things that go on through this movie and I believe the timing of these events must be perfect.

scs0 You know how people joke about The Blair Witch Project being a dull do-it-yourself home movie? Well, Splatter Farm makes that movie look like Citizen Kane! Yes, I had the misfortune of actually renting this movie years ago and it was so bad it actually has become a running joke with my family. If we see a lousy movie we compare it to this one! Honestly, I can't believe it's even on this website. According to my video store, they get home movies like this every once and a while and sometimes they slip through the cracks and get on the shelf.Don't be tricked by the other posters who see like they were probably some of the people who were in the movie, this movie had no story, no quality acting, no quality effects: IT WAS A HOME MOVIE.

requiem28 This shot on video classic has it all. Twin brothers, corpses, incest, gore, horse mutilation, knives in toilets, a full frontal nude man being buried in the dirt, fart jokes, kids choking on poison, fisting, and tons of other fun stuff. Highly recommended if you can find it. It's brilliant right down to the ending credits which continue to play the film's score even after the credits are over. A ground-breaker.