trashgang What the hell was this. If this was made in the seventies it could have been one of those drive-inn classics but nowadays it's just a bad cheesy flick. Well, if you like cheesy flicks then you will love this or if you used to see Mega Piranha and stuff like that than you will love it. If you think you will have a gory flick then forget it. It's all about some chica being cursed by her family because she doesn't want to marry the man she was offered. Running away to get help in Los Angeles they get aboard a train. From there on it's one way track to the cheesy end. Before that you will have some stupid conversations to fill the film. You have some green vomit (no not pea soup) coming out of mouths mixed with snakes. Those are real snakes so up to that part everything is still okay. The go into human flesh which looks nasty. Naturally there is some gratuitous nudity again just to keep you watching but it's the end that makes it look cheesy. The possessed girl somehow put the vomited snakes back in her mouth and becomes a snake. What we have then is so over the top that you must have seen it to believe it. Not for everybody and not for me but men, who invents those kind of stories, please come forward.

Chris Mackey (guestar57) SNAKES ON A TRAIN www.theasylum.cc Wow, Where has theasylum and their quirky brand of film-making been ? On Mother F'n Sci-Fi Channel and major video chains, Netflix yet ?This is probably their best film, Or Very Close Tuit. Alby Castro and Ryanne steal the show as the couple harboring deadly snakes on thee train. The special effects are very good, Especially for Theasylum…Samuel L. Jackson wishes his were This Slimy. Is that really Peter Mervis (interviewed before) lying & groping & what not ( If you're not a Mallachi Bro,Who wrote that Homoerotic crap with a gun ???) Only downer I can see is what happens with the Little Girl, Very Jon-Benet Ramsey timely. Hey , Did you peoples ship enough to store shelves ? Is Sci-Fi Channel rushing a premiere on TV ? Other notable peeps in front of camera and behind: Derek Osedach. Look forward to more from Mallachis, Alby, Ryanne and those drug smuggling hotties: Amelia and Shannon. One an unbelievable ending, Actually after watching this "Orphidiophobia-PALOOZA"…I did believe it.

Woodyanders Ladies and gentlemen, we've really got ourselves a winner here. Actually we don't, but boy is this film an often hilarious and always entertaining horrible hoot of a stinker. Poor Alma (fetching Julia Ruiz) is suffering from an ancient Mayan curse that causes lethal poisonous snakes to grow inside of her body. Alma and her deranged shaman husband Brujo (Alby Castro, who feverishly overacts with delicious eye-rolling intensity) stowaway on a train that's bound for Los Angeles. Naturally, a bunch of deadly vipers get lose so they can terrorize the motley assortment of passengers. The Mallachi Brothers, working from an absurd script by Eric Fosberg, treat the ridiculous premise straight, thereby creating a wonderfully wretched piece of deliriously campy cheese. The cruddy CGI effects, the pathetically unfrightening common variety Gardner snakes (there's would-be scary rattlesnake noises added to the soundtrack to imbue them with a faint sense of otherwise nonexistent menace), the plodding pace, the total dearth of any tension or momentum, the obvious rickety stage-bound train set, and especially the simply astonishing "you gotta be kiddin' me!" over-the-top preposterous ending are all downright awesome in their very jaw-dropping awfulness. Better still, we also got game (if lame) acting from a no-name cast, a nice smidgen of tasty gratuitous female nudity, a funky hum'n'shiver score, and plenty of extremely gross and grotesque make-up f/x. Bonus points for the fact that the token irritatingly cutesy little girl gets eaten by a large reptile and for the stoner engineer who gets caught smoking crack out of a hollow light bulb (!?). An absolute gut-buster of a kitsch howler.

FilmFanInTheHouse Snakes on a Train (2006, Dir. The Mallachi Brothers) A Zombie curse is placed upon a woman, which causes her to have living snakes inside her. Brujo, who is looking after her, attempts to take her to Los Angeles on the train. After several confrontations on the train, Brujo's collection of snakes manage to separate themselves from their owner and go on the hunt. Whilst all this is happening, normal, everyday passengers are relaxing, what is unknown to them is that something deadly is heading their way, and that their is no were out.After watching the wonderfully fun 'Snakes on a Plane', i had to check this out. I knew it was going to be a rip-off and that the film will look cheap, but what i found was worst to watch. The whole curse plot was silly and should never have been included. The special effects aren't terrible but are not the best looking. I did not have a clue about the ending. It was silly to watch and pathetic. The acting was absolutely terrible, and looked bad. They just could not act to save their lives. If you want a great laugh, watch this, otherwise you should really avoid this."We have a runaway train. I repeat. We have a runaway train." - Conductor (Stephen A.F. Day)