Woodyanders
Government agent Drew Savano (legendary tough guy William Smith in peak rugged form) gets assigned to take out seven criminal kingpins who plan on taking over Hawaii's crime racket. Savano rounds up a team of top operatives to kills all these baddies before it's too late. Director Andy Sidaris keeps the enjoyable story moving along at a quick pace, makes nice use of various breathtaking sunny Hawaiian locations, maintains a fairly gritty and serious tone throughout, adds a few inspired wacky touches (for example, there's a crossbow-wielding goon on a skateboard), stages a bunch of exciting and explosive last reel action with skill and flair, and presents a bevy of beautiful babes in bikinis or less (of course). The fine cast of familiar faces helps a lot: Barbara Leigh as the sultry Alexa, Guich Koock as jolly redneck Cowboy, Christopher Joy as the easygoing T.K., Art Metrano as wisecracking smartaleck Kincella, ace martial artist Ed Parker as himself, Martin Kove as lethal henchman Skip, Lenny Montana as fearsome head honcho the Kahuna, Reggie Nalder as mean loan shark the Hermit, and Terry Kiser as a wishy-washy senator. Foxy blonde Playboy Playmate Susan Kiger provides a tasty eyeful in a variety of skimpy outfits (and bares her lovely breasts a few times as well!). Quito's bright cinematography gives this picture a pleasing slick and sparkling look. The funky-throbbing score hits the get-down groovy spot. A fun B-grade flick.
ramsfan
Watching some of Andy Sidaris' cheesy flicks of the late 70's and early 80's, you'd never know the man was a visionary in the sports television medium and a 7-time Emmy winner who directed the Olympics, Wide World of Sports and some of the early NFL telecasts. That said, "Seven" represents one of his better contributions to the B-movie genre. It boasts great scenery and the obligatory bevy of scantily-clad women that characterize a Sidaris film. And it's a treat for fans of William Smith, one of the most accomplished character actors of all time, who receives top billing and features him in the unfamiliar but welcome role of good guy.Freelance mercenary Drew Savano (Smith) is called in by a government agent to wipe out mobsters bent on taking over the state of Hawaii. For a fee of $7 million dollars, Savano assembles seven specialists (hence the title), each with a different talent, to take on the mission. Though it takes a bit long for us to be introduced to each character and assigned their individual targets, it's worth the wait to watch just how these specialists- The Dragster, The Professor, The Indian, The Playmate, The Cowboy, The Comic, The Black Belt- will take out their quarry.This movie won't remind anyone of Hamlet. Laughable dialog and various unconvincing characters (looking at Ed Parker with his bad hair and pot belly you'd never know the guy was a martial arts legend) make this more tongue-in-cheek than anything else, but it's just this approach- it's a "B" movie after all- that makes "Seven" an enjoyable watch. Lenny Montana, Art Medrano and Reggie Nalder are among the notable character actors lending their talents to "Seven". There's gorgeous former Playmate Susan Kiger and actress Barbara Leigh in bikinis for most of the movie. And Kwan Hi Lim, who seemingly appeared in every Hawaiian/Polynesian/Asian themed show covering two decades, skillfully portrays his usual oily villain.Fun stuff from Andy Sidaris. Seven stars for "Seven"!
PeterMitchell-506-564364
Has this movie got everything. God awful sexy women in bikinis, explosions, violence, stunts, and humor. It also has some of the baddest dudes you'll ever see. They're an elite cartel, and they're not idiots. The people, remorseless, if anyone is, know their work. But so do the seven agents out to stop them where in no less thirty minutes, their objectives must die. Clearly the best actor here is golden oldie, William Smith, as most of the others suck. Smith plays Drew Savanno. Just see how this guy lives, and you'll understand, why so many other people feel so angered, the way they have it. Drew, the head of this group, is the one that picks the others, and they're really an odd kettle of fish, hot, funny, smart, and deadly. We have the blackbelt, the cowboy and his lovely assistant, who looks so hot in a bikini, the drag racer, the other hottie, who's a real tease, again deadly. We have the musician, who's style of comedy sucks. And my favorite, the professor, a playboy type and a genius. Who else could design a rocket when fired miles away, could take out the baddie in a the car park of one of his favorite coffee houses. The prof scores with a hot waitress who works there, who has a tube of candy paste on hand, if ever caught in lovemaking. Seven never dulls. It's a smart thriller, as in the way the baddies are taken out, the limo explosion at the gas station, out yonder where the whole place goes up in flames, just proving horse shoes have other uses. I like the baddie on the skateboard, known as skater, who's like comic amusement for this cartel, deadly with a spear gun. You can't fault the plot, as in the ways things happen. It's tighter than a fishes bum. The blow up doll that emerges out of a doctors bag when opened at customs, the professor telling the customs guy to put her on the next plane, is one of my favorite parts. A young customs woman looks outways after him, as says, "Too much", as if stoned. But these words could almost describe this movie, it's encouraging cover with Smith holding a spear gun, and those hotties flanking him, is enough to suck you in. Seven is a cool action movie, but on a smart scale, and one movie that shouldn't be overlooked.
