Horst in Translation ([email protected]) "Was Eltern gern vertuschen möchten" or "What Parents Would Gladly Hush Up" (and there is a couple more English-language titles out there) is a West German German-language film from 1973 and it is the sixth entry to the German (in)famous Schulmädchen/Schoolgirl series, a collection of German soft-core porn films from the 1970s that also include some humor and occasionally even a lesson that the filmmaker are trying to teach the audience. Hofbauer directed this film and Heller wrote it based on the book by Hunold and Seelmann. As always with these films, there are several short stories included in here that are all somehow (well not really) linked to the main story early on. This main story is about a teenage girl and teenage boy being in love, but they get caught having sex on campus and are in danger of being expelled. Other stories include a female lesbian teenager who has a crush on her teacher and tries to blackmail her into having sex with her. And this is not the only teacher-student relationship in this one. The film, also as always, works best when it does not take itself seriously at all and the moral message is pretty ridiculous. It runs for almost 90 minutes, so it's one of the longer films of the franchise, which was long from over at this point, even if this was already the fifth film. As a whole, this was not a good watch. It can really only be seen as something positive from the guilty pleasure perspective. But even there, there are many better Schulmädchen films. Thumbs down.

lazarillo This is another entry (the sixth) into the long-running German "Schulmadchen-Report" films, and it's a good place to start if you're not too familiar with the series. Once again it is organized into a series of vignette-stories (although they have dispensed with the man-and-woman-on-the-street interviews)all being told by a teenage couple who have been caught en flagrante in the the band room and are trying to illustrate how "sexual mores have changed these days"(i.e. fathers are apparently pimping out their daughters now). As usual, the vignette stories swing wildly from absurdly melodramatic to kinda sexy to very silly.One story involves a girl trying to get revenge on her perpetually unfaithful boyfriend with fatal(!) results. Another involves annoying, diminutive Italian stereotype "Luigi" (also in Vol 4 and 5) sneaking into a girls' school and having sex with three comely lasses right under their elderly teacher's nose (it maybe kind of implausible that this doofus could schtup three girls in five minutes, but it's far, far more implausible that ANY of them would agree to it). Then there's the aforementioned father who catches his daughter with an older man and comes up with a novel way of making money. Another story involves a girl falling in love with her sexy teacher (Shirley Corrigan). This is the closest the series has come so far to some hot inter-generational, girl-on-girl action. (Not, of course, that "teacher" Corrigan was probably much older in real-life than her "student" here). It's also nice to see one of these ridiculous horny schulmadchen pounce on a FEMALE teacher for a change, but don't worry the last story is the old stand-by of another female student (Ulrike Butz) seducing her male gym teacher.This is is fast-moving and generally entertaining. The girls are all pretty attractive (and obviously well north of 18). Corrigan and Butz are especially appealing (and they've both been in a lot of other Euro-exploitation fare like "Werewolf Shadow" and "Veil of Blood"). There's no Christina Lindberg or Ingrid Steeger, unfortunately--and WAY too much "Luigi"--but it's worth a rental at least.