elliotdowning Everyone's favourite Passions star (IVY CRANE!!!!) lights up the screen in this horrifically bad schlock horror. (By 'schlock' I mean horror so bad that it isn't even funny!) Now I love bad horror...But this was beyond the joke.A woman, whose police-officer husband has just been shot to death in a car jacking, buys a strange relic in an antique store. Despite the warnings of the badly-dressed witch running the store (who looks suspiciously like Stevie Nicks), she buys the lump of stone that looks like it belongs in the bowl of a public toilet.While she cries at home and wishes to have her husband back just one last time, her tear hits the 'turd rock' and her prayers are answered. Her husband returns and they go at it like rabbits in 7 seconds of tacky, mild sex.After waking, 'Ivy Crane' finds a strange dwarf in her shower with annoyingly squinty eyes and really bad dentures. He demands her first-born child and she refuses.From here, the movie involves 'Ivy' running from the little gremlin and causing the deaths of friends and by-standers along the way.The horror is bland. The supporting cast are probably now in rehab. The one-liners are cornier than creamed corn smeared on a cob of the vegetable of the same name.I now realise why this movie looks so 80s, despite being released in 1996. It was so bad that every major studio turned it down over a period of 16 years. AVOID!

erik_macmillan This is one of my favourite movies of all time, it has it all! While i agree with most that the plot and acting is pretty weak, the truly classic one-liners more than make up for this. For instance, he utters "go thou thundering steed" while driving an articulated lorry, He takes out a cigar before announcing "ahh, another bad habit" and probably my favourite line in history "fucketh me"(he says this just before his truck crashes!).I saw this movie first in '97 and have bought it since and it has not lost any of its charm. All in all, if you want to have a laugh then you should definitely rent or buy this movie as it is hilarious! Hilariously bad(but in a good way).

thebadwolfe Rumpelstiltskin is excellent for what it is, and that is a wonderful, cheesy horror movie. If you are a fan of the Leprechaun series, you will most assuredly like this. It has a great mixture of funny dialog and violent humor, and, unlike most films, the bad guy is obviously the only star. This is done by contrasting the boorish, uninteresting people of the film with our colorful, funny anti-hero. Of course, who watches a film like this for dialog or characters? We want to see the bad guy on the screen, doing what he does best. And Rumpelstiltskin does this this quickly, not wasting a lot of time developing other characters, whom we could care less about. However, the characters are certainly not underdeveloped either. You'll just have to see this film for yourself.

barbaricstruggle I just saw this film for the first time tonight, 9 years after it was made. I was pleasantly surprised, as I was not expecting it to be this good. The Rumpelstiltskin character looked great, and the plot line kept my interest throughout. The makeup was great, and it the minimal use of special effects made this movie much less outrageous than it could have been. It was almost over-the-top, but stopped just in time. It was not very true to the old fairy tale, but took a modern twist on it. Rumplestiltskin was re-awakened 500 years later in the 1990's, and needs a first-born son to steal its soul and set him free. I totally did not expect him to be driving a motorcycle or a semi-truck, but it happens, and it worked. There is a long chase scene where he is driving an oil tanker and spouting out humorous one-liners, until he wrecks it. The only way to kill him is to burn him with fire and straw, but before the protagonists discover this, he kicks some ass and takes a few wicked beatings. This film was hilarious, creepy, and a thoroughly enjoyable take on a classic fairy tale from our youth. I give it a 9 for originality and entertainment value.