jonathan_k80 If you have had the misfortune of seeing any of the live-action Saturday morning kids' shows from the 1970's (or if you were unfortunate enough to have grown up in that time period), then basically you have seen this movie.It's all been done before. A mysterious mystical guy is searching for the descendant of a long line of "Puma Men" to guide him in the ways of the puma, which include flying and a type of red-tinted psychic night-vision. This must be an educational film, as I did not know pumas could fly. He finds his subject, who is reluctant to assume these powers and spends the remainder of the movie whining and complaining. I guess I would whine too, after realizing all the good superhero powers were already taken, and I was left with this.The rest is predictable. PumaMan masters his ability conjure up a lame background theme song every time he flies. His take-offs and landings are enhanced with 1970's video game sound effects. And he completes his training, just in time of course, to take on Kobras, an evil villain who is determined to... guess... control the world. I didn't see that coming.The movie includes a limited disco-garbage soundtrack and special effects that are truly ground-breaking (for the 1940's). Donald Pleasence (who must have been exhausted after pursuing Michael Myers and needed an easier adversary), as the evil Kobras, constantly pronounces "PumaMan" as "Pew-ma Man." Think of it as "phew - this movie stinks."Because it truly does.

bensonmum2 As I've said before, you've just got to love those wacky Italians and some of their wacky cinematic "achievements". The Puma Man (or The Pumaman as the title card indicates) tells the story of Professor Tony Farms (Walter George Alton) who reluctantly accepts his superhero birthright. A direct descendant of extraterrestrials, he is given the power of the puma (Until I watched this movie, I had no idea that pumas could fly? Who knew?) so that he might defend the secrets of the Aztecs. One of those secrets, a golden mask that grants its possessor the power of mind control, has been stolen by the evil Kobras (Donald Pleasance). With his Aztec guide Vadinho (Miguel Angel Fuentes), The Puma Man must put a stop to Kobras' plans of world domination.It might be screwy, but I can't help but enjoy parts of The Puma Man. The movie comes across like a twisted, no-budget mix of Superman and the U.S. television series "The Greatest American Hero". From the superhero costume that includes brown slacks straight off the rack at Sears to the poorly done rear projection special effects to the repetitive (but admittedly catchy) Casio keyboard soundtrack to the Christmas ornament-like space ship, it's obvious that the budget on The Puma Man was less that what I spent on dinner last night. But the odd thing is, regardless of how cheap looking most of the movie is, it's got a charm to it that money can't buy. And while that doesn't necessarily make The Puma Man a great movie or anything, on occasion the movie overcomes its many faults (or it might be because of these faults) and is often quite fun. The acting isn't much to write home about. Pleasance proves he could be a scene-chewer without equal. His insistence on pronouncing "puma" as "pyuma" is hysterical. Our would-be hero, Alton, is generally ineffectual. The female lead, played by Sydne Rome, while reasonably attractive, doesn't display much in the way of acting skills either. Still, given the material they're given to work with, the entire cast is serviceable. But probably the best thing I can say about The Puma Man is that it's not dull. In fact, it's well paced and generally entertaining throughout its runtime. And as I've argued so many times, entertainment is the single most important thing to me when watching movies.Compared with most everyone else on IMDb, my rating for The Puma Man sticks out like a sore thumb. Maybe I enjoy it for all the wrong reasons, but whatever it is, I do enjoy it.

Greg Eichelberger Below sewer-level movie, directed by Alberto De Martino and starring once-decent thespian, Donald Pleasence ("Fantastic Journey," "Halloween," "The Changing Of The Guard" installment of "The Twilight Zone") as the villain, and non-talents Walter George Alton (a person not worthy of one name, let alone THREE), Miguelangel Fuentes and Sydne Rome, among others, is so bad it's great (if that's conceivable).Minuscule plot has Alton as paleontologist, Tony Farm, who finds an ancient Aztec mask, and thanks to a huge, square-headed mongoloid (Fuentes, with a Moe Howard haircut) - who keeps following him - he reluctantly becomes Puma Man, one of the lamest super heroes since William Katt.Pleasence, playing another bad guy role, is just as lisping an inept as he was in all of his other movies. Needless to say, he and his moronic henchmen are out to retrieve said mask because it has the power to make people fly at odd angles and rip through cardboard sets.To say that this film is bad would be an insult to the term. Horrible, beyond ludicrous "special" effects, insipid acting, unbelievably stupid dialogue and cheesy 1970's TV soundtrack music make the entire enterprise unintentionally hilarious.And Alton's turn as the lead consists of an hour of wooden sleepwalking followed by an idiotic ten-second outburst. Ultimately, however, it's the block-headed Aztec who turns out to be the hero, and the concluding "battle" is the silliest since the end of "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians," or "Rocky V."

andrew bowman "You are the worst I have ever seen, but you are the Pumaman." -- Vadinho Flying over Stonehenge, a UFO drops off a magical golden mask. A voice-over alien promises that the mask will be protected by his son, and his sons after him. They will be man-gods; blessed with the infinite powers of the puma (a Puma-man, if you will). Naturally, any device of great power must eventually fall into the wrong hands. Quicker than you can say Warrior Queen, the mask falls into the evil hands of Kobras (Donald Pleasance!). He discovers that the mask can control the human mind (not unlike Pabst Blue Ribbon), which can be very helpful when wanting to take over the world. Unfortunately, plans for world domination are cut short when alien hieroglyphics reveal that the mask is protected. Any NE'ER-do-well who attempts to use it for evil will fall to a grisly demise by Pumaman. So logically, Kobras must eliminate the mask's guardian. But how does one go about finding a Pumaman? Easy. By throwing random men out skyscraper windows. If they splat, they're obviously not Pumaman. So Kobras and his goons spend lazy summer afternoons tossing random men out skyscraper windows. On the other side of town, Vadinho, native shaman and friend to all Pumamen, does his part in finding the man-god. Not wanting to break from the tried-and-true method, he too tosses random men out skyscraper windows. Vadinho soon comes across Tony Farms, a paleontologist working at a local museum. After Tony survives his window toss, Vadinho runs up to him, tells him he's a Pumaman, and disappears. He's just mysterious like that. (This later segues into the obligatory: "I'm not a Pumaman" and "You are a Pumaman!" conflict, but let's skip it.) Unfortunately, Vadinho isn't the only one who discovers Farms' hidden gift. Kobras sets his sights on the heroic paleontologist, for once the Pumaman is out of the way, nothing can stop him from taking over - the world!!! (Pronounced "verld" with an echo effect to increase menace.) This review is part of Secret Santa, the latest B-Masters' round table. Lyz, of And You Call Yourself A Scientist! fame, drew my name. I must admit that she went fairly easy on me. Out of mercy? Charity? Who knows? Pumaman isn't a good film, but it's not that painful, either. The acting is sub-par, but that's to be expected. Besides, Donald Pleasance is always a treat. He hams like none other: The beady eyes. The emotionless line delivery. The shiny pate. As a director, you can't go wrong with big Don. But you can go wrong with Walter George Alton. It's nothing personal. Considering the material, he does just fine. But why get Gary Busey when you can just as easily hire Nick Nolte? Meaning, Alton wants to be Dirk Benedict so bad he can just taste it. Fresh off Battlestar Galactica, Dirk could've brought some star-power punch to the production. Or was Donald Pleasance supposed to provide the ratings' draw? There was lots of action; fighting and what-not. I'm not talking about fancy-Schuman's wire work or characters freezing in mid-air while a bullet flies between their legs. Apparently, Pumaman likes to mix the power of B. A. Baracus with the unorthodox dork-FUD of William Shatner. We get some thug tossing (across cars, into walls, but sadly, not into dumpsters) along with a dabble of "In real life, that would've never connected." Things like Pumaman falling between the legs of an attacker, then kicking him in the chest. With the lightning speed of, say, Jackie Chan, I might be able to accept this feat. With the clumsiness of Walter George Alton, however, it proves a bit harder to swallow. And if you're going to pay homage to Shatner, everyone knows you have to throw in a weak chop to the back of the neck. It's a staple. Perhaps a chop to the back of the neck would've prevented Our Hero from being made a fool of by Donald Pleasance. Pumaman beats on a dozen bad guys without breaking a sweat, only to be out-muscled by Donald Pleasance in the film's finale? Suspending disbelief, I can accept Pleasance as a criminal mastermind. But he's just a little too doughy to be slapping around a man-god. Unless that man-god happened to be Corey Haim. ----Vadinho is a proud member of The Temple of the God Who Came From Other Worlds. If any organization was in desperate need of an acronym, this would be it. Hypnosis through shaky cam! Why spend lots of money on special effects? We'll just screw with camera lens. Nobody will know the deference.Pumaman spends a great deal of time flying and looking. Flying. Then looking. Then back to flying. Nothing is more exciting than bad blue-screen flight interrupted by periodic pauses to look around. It truly completes the effect. I can understand having a protector for a mask that could enslave the world, but it begs the question: Why bother dropping the mask off in the first place? The stirring love theme from Pumaman. Pumaman, as the name implies, is blessed with all the wondrous powers of a puma, which include: The power of flight. The power to tear steel and crumble bricks with your bare hands. The power to telnet (I have a great story about this puma that deleted into my grandmother's bathroom in Wyoming, but for the sake of brevity, I'll refrain). The power to see in the dark. The power to punch guys really hard (my grandma was punched by said puma, but again, we should probably skip it). -- Copyright © 2001 by J. Bannerman