gridoon2018 This movie is considerate: it delivers what it promises (Jayne Mansfield topless) twice in the first 5 minutes - so you don't really need to bother with the remaining 70. Mansfield has a sensational body indeed (breasts as well as legs), but the film is more static and unfunny that smutty and scandalous. Tommy Noonan's drunken routine gets tiresome fast, T.C. Jones' gay-hairdresser routine is even worse. *1/2 out of 4.

ferbs54 The 1963 Jayne Mansfield "comedy" "Promises! Promises!" is best known these days for one thing (well, better make that TWO things!)--it is the film in which Jayne displayed her unfettered rib balloons; the first time a major actress ever did so in a mainstream Hollywood picture. Unfortunately, the film offers pretty much nothing else, and potential viewers would be well advised--no, warned--to bail out after Jayne's initial nude appearance, which happily occurs only three minutes in. During the following 72 minutes, Jayne and her bespectacled hubby, played by the film's co-producer and co-writer, Tommy Noonan, go on a long ocean cruise with their friends, Mickey Hargitay and Marie "The Body" McDonald. Through a set of ridiculous plot contrivances that include placebo drugs, seasickness and lots of liquor, Tommy can't quite figure out how Jayne has suddenly become preggers and just who did the knocking up. Dated, dreary, deadly and dumb (how's that for double D's?), the picture is a real labor to sit through; it is absolutely, consistently and painfully unfunny, and every lame gag falls (you should pardon the expression) absolutely flat. Character actor King Donovan's direction is uninspired, TV legend Imogene Coca goes completely wasted in a teensy role, and female impersonator T.C. Jones is an embarrassment. Strangely, Jayne unclothed does not look nearly as spectacular as Jayne strutting about in formfitting sweaters and gowns in such truly marvelous comedies as "The Girl Can't Help It" (1956) and "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" (1957). I had originally decided to give this film two stars--one for each...well, you know--but cannot give it even that "high" a rating in good conscience. There is no form of entertainment more lethal, for me, than a completely unfunny comedy, and only a big dumb boob would find this one amusing.

gnb Promises! Promises! is probably most famous these days for the legendary nude sequences of voluptuous Jayne Mansfield which were featured in a sell-out Playboy spread and resulted in the movie being banned in several US cities.However, there's much more to recommend the film than the brief glimpses we get of JM's famed knockers. And if you think this film is slapped together rubbish with nothing worth watching besides Mansfield writhing around in the bath...then you'd be wrong! Belying its B-movie roots, PP is actually very well put together with a nice little plot and a good cast who seem to be enjoying every minute of making the movie. Tommy Noonan, as usual, is pleasantly geeky, Marie McDonald manages to pull off sexy and sarcastic without coming over as a bitch and even Mr Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, is convincing in his role as McDonald's husband.And then there is Jayne. Despite this being yet another "dumb blonde" role for Mansfield, she is very good in this movie. Once her now famous nude scenes are out of the way we can concentrate on her performance and she really is very good in this. And naturally, she looks so good you could eat her up. And, true to her nature, she even manages to poke fun at herself and her image by having her character, Sandy, do an impression of Jayne Mansfield with comedian T.C. Jones.This film has been re-released on remastered DVD and is well-worth a look. It's sexy, saucy and of course has the added bonus of showcasing ALL of Jayne Mansfield's "talents"...but there really is much more to enjoy here.Catch it if you can!

skad13 Terrible, terrible comedy. But if I were rating it, I'd give it 1 star for the script, photography, and performances, and 10 for the display of Ms. Mansfield's ample attributes. I think this is why they invented the fast-forward button