st-shot Roman Polanski is a fish out of water in this high seas mess that sinks early. Lurching between comedy and drama it never gets much of a footing as it erratically veers off course for two hours. Adrift at sea Captain Red and Jean Baptiste save their lives by crawling onto a Spanish galleon displaying poor manners and get themselves tossed in the brig. On board the ship is a gold throne that Red is determined to take ownership of once he gets the crew to mutiny. Sumptuously photographed with a lush set design Polanski stumbles through it all setting an inconsistent tone from the outset as he attempts to give it a Terry Gilliam dark humor that seems beyond his grasp. A bit of a disappointment given the suspense director made the very funny Fearless Vampire Killers in his younger days with a dark comic wit that took the Dracula theme in a totally different direction. Here he allows things to drag and his comic timing is woefully late. Matthau as Red is decent enough to deserve a better script but overall performances are heavy handed, scene after scene lacks rhythm and a slap happy music score does it no favors. Pirates is one scattered disaster of a picture. Scuttle this scow.

Munin75 Pirates was shown on TV a few days back so I thought I'd watch it since I knew it was a Polanski film - my knowledge of it was limited to that. When watching, I figured it was a 70s film considering the style, pretty old-school and theatrical. I was later surprised to learn it was actually released in 1986. The first hour or so of the movie was very entertaining. It reminded me, in terms of style, of "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", only with a less impressive soundtrack and instead of cowboys in the desert it's pirates at sea. After an hour I slowly started losing interest. The plot seemed to turn around in circles, and it literally does at the end, leaving me somewhat unsatisfied despite the better first half.Pirates earns points for the fabulous costumes, for which it was nominated at the Oscars, and also the realistic sword fight scenes - the actors don't seem to obey to an elaborate choreography where they hit in the general direction of their opponent, like in Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars, but rather they aim directly at their opponents in harsh fights, and that was refreshing. The pirate Captain Red was fabulous, a typical drunkard gritty personality, however I didn't care in the slightest bit for the other characters.An overall entertaining film and I'm glad I watched it, but to be honest I will probably forget most of it in a few months, and will not go out of my way to recommend it to anyone else.

theowinthrop Walter Matthau played many villains in his career, but his performance of the greasy, dirty, thoroughly charismatic Thomas Bartholemew Red is one of the best. Pulling out all stops (presumably with the blessings of director Roman Polanski) Matthau acted as the personification of guile and greed. He is seen floating on a raft at the beginning with his one loyal crewman "Frog" (Chris Campion), and are rescued by a Spanish galleon that they learn is carrying a treasure (a golden throne) and the daughter of a Spanish Governor. Matthau gets started stirring up the crew's discontent, in order to take over the galleon. But despite his stratagems, it is not easy - due to the countermeasures of Don Alfonso De la Torres (Damien Thomas), who is as ruthless in his way as Matthau is.This film would be memorable for just one moment I never forgot - to stir up the crew to mutiny, Red and Frog "find" a dead rat in the crew's food. The rat is brought to the attention of Torres. Instead of stammering apologies, Torres asks the pertinent question if any other rats were found in the food or on the ship. The crew thinks about it, and have to admit none were. So there is only this rat. Torres looks at the rat, and points out it looks like it isn't' even the type of rat found on boats at sea. It looks like a land rat - in which case, the rat was planted. So who found it? Red and Frog are brought forward. Torres does not beat them. He takes his sword, and cuts the dead rat in half. He gives half to each man, and tells to eat it. With some self-control, both men finish their half of the rat!Later was another scene regarding camera angles and bathtub shots. Roy Kinnear was playing a seventeenth century fence, who is useful to Matthau and the other pirates, but universally disliked (he gets his cut from the treasures, but he never puts his own life on the line regarding getting the treasures). Kinnear is taking a bath when Captain Red is announced. He knows that Red particularly dislikes him. A moment later Red is standing before the naked Kinnear in his steaming tub. While a disgusted Kinnear watches (we see Red from the back) the pirate urinates into Kinnear's bathtub.Any film with two sequences like that is unforgettable and entertaining.

abcosv This is the story about the pirate captain Thomas Bartholomew Red, played by Walther Matthau, and his struggle to get a famous aztec treasure from the hands of the Spanish nation. Escaping from a desert island with his faithful french sailor "the Frog", his soul purpose in life becomes that of getting his hands on the treasure, a throne of solid gold. Walther Matthau plays extraordinarily well in his role as the great captain, with Cris Campion as the faithful right hand. This movie is extremely underrated, the fact that Pirates of the Caribbean is actually rated higher, is an outrage. The Disney tale of ghosts and magic is just a fairytale. Pirates on the other hand, gives us a view of the fight between the classes, aristocrats versus the common laborer, all based in the pirate age of the caribbean.This movie gets a 8/10 from me.