L_Miller
You know the story, and it doesn't matter all that much if you don't. Tacky effects, great scenery - Hawaii gorgeous as always, hot actresses and actors with serviceable acting ability and that guy who was in that thing that one time many years ago.The only thing that keeps this from being an actual Sedaris movie is the absence of Andy or his son from the producer list and the lack of nudity since this is basic cable broadcast. The production companies should make these shows in dual-format for Syfy (who tragically lost their spell checker some years ago) and for Showtime or Cinemax.The effects are really bad, I mean REALLY bad but the acting is OK and movies like this keep the majority of Hollywood in business, plus at least these actors got a trip to Hawaii, so I will give it a thumbs-up. Check it out.
richieandsam
PIRANHACONDAWell another year has gone and it is my birthday again... so what does that mean? A lads night of food, games and rubbish movies.This was the first movie we watched... you know exactly what to expect when the title is Piranhaconda. I don't even think I need to explain the movie do I? The movie is about a group of movie makers that are in the woods making a movie... it is not going very well, but get's a lot worst when they get attacked one by one by a giant snake.The story was alright I suppose seeing as you don't have much choice when a giant snake/piranha thing is eating everyone in sight.It is nothing original, but for a cheesy b-movie that is fine.The acting was terrible from everyone. Not one person did a good job, not even the star of the movie. The movie stars Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter, Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Chris De Christopher and Shandi Finnessey. Now I know what you are thinking... "What the hell is Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs doing in a film like this?"... trust me, we all thought the same thing! He did look a mess and his acting was bad. He came across in this movie like he couldn't care less. He really looked like he regretted signing up for this movie from the start... and I can't blame him.The movie was that bad, that it actually made it quite good. We were laughing all the way through the movie at how bad it was. There were plenty of half naked women running around the entire movie... most of which was completely unnecessary. There are some comedy lines in there. They were there on purpose and were not that funny... but to be honest the funniest part was the special effects.The special effects were so bad. The snake thing looking like a 1990's computer game. It looked like it was not blended into the background at all. Even for a 2013 b-movie, this was weak!It is an entertaining movie if you have your friends over and you all fancy watching a really funny movie and can chat throughout it.I will give this film 4 out of 10."Suck lead, you hillbilly butt nugget!"For more reviews, please like my Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ordinary-Person-Movie- Reviews/456572047728204?ref=hl
Paul Magne Haakonsen
"Piranhaconda", well the name of the movie is a clear enough indication of what kind of movie and type of entertainment you are in for here; low-budget monster movie with a cheesy story, and probably even more cheesy monster. Well, as this is a SyFy Channel movie, then yes and yes.The movie starts out wonderfully with a themesong about the piranhacondas. Yes, a song about these wonderful reptilian creatures. It was as epic as the song they had in "Super Shark".The story takes place in Hawaii, where an apparent freak of nature aberration between a piranha and an anaconda have taken place. How such an unholy union came about to be, we are not given any inside information or facts about. So we can only speculate. The most logical option would be genetic manipulation, but who knows? But these two, yeah not just one, but two, piranhacondas are of gargantuan size, and how they came to grow so big and sustain their diets puzzles me. So the Hawaiian people wouldn't notice a dramatic delve in population, livestock, or whatever it is that these creatures feast upon to grow so big? Again, something not to dwell on.A group of amateur film makers are out in the Hawaii jungle to shoot a horror movie when they run across this aberration of nature. But they are not just up against these gargantuan snakes, they are also fighting a band of kidnappers. To spice up the story, throw a university scholar into the midst, who wants to study the piranhaconda and bring an egg back to the civilized world. Good plan, eh? Now, the people cast for "Piranhaconda" were actually doing good enough jobs with their roles, and it does seem that people were enjoying making this movie, so that was cool. The dialogue, however, was halting and forced at times, but in a movie of this caliber, that is to be expected and can be forgiven.The piranhacondas themselves, well, they looked adequate and life-like most of the times, which worked in favor of the movie. There were some scenes, though, where these creatures came off as rather fake. No surprise there.Another thing that was working well in favor for "Piranhaconda" was the number of casualties throughout the movie. There was a fairly high death-toll in the movie, which was nice. But it gets better, and this part of the movie I loved, whenever the piranhacondas would kill someone, they lunged at the prey (the humans) and the people would vanish in a spray of blood red misty haze. They simply just vanished in a red misty burst. That cracked me up. There were a couple of scenes where you got to see some mutilation, in the form of severed limbs. So it wasn't all bad (if you like gore).Normally snakes propel themselves forward by slithering, right? Well yeah, as did the piranhacondas, except for one time, where it was chasing after an SUV. Take a look at the creature there, it just darts forward like a straight arrow, all rank and linear. That was so funny. Never seen a snake do that before.The kidnappers in "Piranhaconda" apparently all attended the "College For Goons Shooting Badly". They were shooting at the protagonists, and fired several dozens, if not hundreds of bullets, and not a single bullet struck or penetrated the vehicle. That was pretty good shooting right there, especially as it was a fairly short distance.Another of these goofs, were as they headed to the dock to sail away in a small boat, the professor (played by Michael Madsen) had the jar with the piranhaconda eggs in it. Prior throughout all the movie, the eggs was submerged in some kind of fluorescent green slime, but at the docks, there was no slime in the jar. Then a little later on as they had left the docks, the jar was out again, only this time the green slime was back.Another lovely goof was when the stuntman (one of the protagonists, played by Rib Hillis) was out in the jungle, he just happened to come across a blue quad-bike that conveniently had been left unattended and ready to drive in the middle of the Hawaiian jungle. That never happens where I live.Despite these flaws and cheesy things, then "Piranhaconda" was actually fun entertainment. You know exactly what you are in for with these kind of SyFy monster movies. They are like traffic accidents, you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it. The story was campy and cheesy, which makes it fun to watch, and the creatures were so over the top that it just becomes plain fun.The ending of the movie was really great actually, so hooray for SyFy for that one! Didn't see that coming actually, so it was a nice surprise.When you're in Hawaii look behind you, 'coz that's where the piranhaconda's gonna be...
