imdbwhoresfordisney Indeed this is not a masterpiece, but which sequel is? After all, each and every sequel, prequel, remake and reboot is made for the sole purpose of getting the suckers to pay up for the privilege of watching an inferior product. What does surprise is that Gor I had enough of an audience to warrant a second go-around.With all of that said, I enjoyed Gor II. Firstly, I love the fantasy aspects of films with swords and dragons. There were no dragons here, but there were plenty of swords, fighting and intrigue. Moreover, I am a man and therefore happily pay to see women who are thin, flaunting, have long hair, etc. Gor II had sweet eye candy all over the place. In fact, I thought the slave girl was hawt (sorry fat ladies, it is what it is). Astoundingly, in an act of Christian fidelity, our hero refuses the quick in-n-out owing to the fact that he is in love with another woman (and of course the other woman is super slender so worth it).Throw in the a dwarf (aha!), palace, catfight and sand dunes and this was well worth my time.

Aaron1375 I cannot fathom that the first Gor film was profitable enough to warrant a sequel. Sure, there were some pretty bad B movies back in the day getting sequel after sequel; however, I had at least heard of said films. I had never heard of Gor or Gor II in my youth. No, I only heard of this one after 2010 when I was looking through a list of films that Mystery Science Theater has riffed and that is how I first saw this sequel. I also saw parts of the first one, as this one recaps the previous adventures of Cabot the most bland sword and sorcery hero I have ever witnessed! Forget any Conan the Barbarian comparisons, this guy is worse than Ator or even Yor the hunter from the future who sort of lives in the past, but not really! I cannot think of a single 'hero' from a film of this type that falls as short as this guy does, and I am not just talking the character, I am talking about the actor who depicts him too. Guy is a nobody and obviously cannot fight as they had to use a stunt double for him during the 'climatic' battle scene against two rotund individuals who would only be threatening in real life at an all you can eat buffet. The only real actor of note in this one is a very angry looking Jack Palance who so obviously does not want to be in this film, but probably needed a check and thought a trip to Italy would be nice! The story has Cabot returning to the world of Gor, a world that is behind our times, but has some magic and lots of 80's looking women with big hair. That is one of the things I have to give this film credit for, it has some very attractive 80's girls in it showing cleavage and in some instances oiled up! Well, after his name is mentioned a ton of times, Cabot finds himself in the middle of a set up where a priest uses the king's trophy wife to take control of the kingdom, at least that is what he seems to be doing at first. Later, it seems more like the priest is the queen's puppet and that the priest is the more reasonable, who knows, it probably is a good book, but the movie is not. Cabot wanders the desert with his small friend sidekick and gets offers of pleasure all over the place before everyone rejoices as the defenseless queen is skewered. Bravo guys, imprisoning a woman with no weapons or powers would have been too hard.This made for a rather funny episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as the jokes were fast and furious. Though most of the best jokes came during Cabot and friend first coming to the city and then Cabot and little friend escaping through the desert. I loved their jokes making fun of the badly dubbed little person's voice. Still, this film had more to offer as far as riffs that they seemed to miss, like the the queen being killed in kind of brutal fashion when she could have been simply taken captive. For the most part some funny stuff.So you get to see Jack Palance as some wizard type dude who seems to be pulling the strings and is not. An annoying sidekick that is thankfully tucked away for awhile and replaced by a small version of Edgar Winter. A vegetarian hero who really does not do all that much heroic stuff, but has great restraint when it comes to resisting girls who wish to give him pleasure and lots of cleavage! Also, lots of male buttocks shots for the ladies! There is something for everyone in this film! Just not a very well done story. Does not really have that great of action scenes either. The actors and actresses are bland too. Okay, so cleavage and buttocks are about it. Welcome to the magical world of Gor, where there really is not much magic beyond the ability of its people to bring a mediocre man from Earth to help them sort out their problems!

Diana Agghhh! Why do the Italians continue to make these horrible cheap knock-offs of American genre films? To ship them directly to video over here and makes tons of filthy lucre, or Lira, or whatever, off the poor unsuspecting American public's pain. In this awful serving, which is a sequel to a film that I haven't(thankfully) watched(I actually saw the first movie to Cavedwellers, much to my horror), an idiot professor by the name of Tarl Cabot(what kind of stupid moniker is that, anyway?!) is drawn once again to the planet called Gor. Along for the ride is his 'friend' and fellow professor, Watney(again with the ridiculous name!). This guy is one of the most annoying characters ever put onto film. He has a contest with himself early on in the film to see how many times he can say Cabot! in the space of five minutes. Four thousand and twelve, I think the total was. If only I'd had a shovel and a way to get into the movie, that sucker would have been toast..Anyhoo, Cabot arrives at the capitol city of..umm...the country? Planet? Or whatever, of Gor, called Koroba. Here this turkey is greeted as a hero(did the good citizens have nothing else to do that day?) by one and all and taken into the castle of the King. He's in love with the King's daughter, although how she stood his open mouthed trout kissing is anyone's guess. There's a lot of misogynistic scenes with scantily clad women and, more disturbingly, an equally scantily clad albino dwarf(am I making that up? God,I wish I was). Apparently Cabot and the dwarf are 'old friends'(nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Enter at this point the venerable Jack Palance(what is he doing in this piece of crap? I mean, I know a job's a job, Jack, but come on!), dressed in a ridiculous costume with what looks like a split butter top loaf of bread on his head instead of a hat. He's supposed to be the second bad guy, along with the evil younger Queen that the King married(sure, seventy year old decrepit guy, she married you because she loves you! Yeah, right!).Cabot's wormy friend Watney is seduced by the Queen(ewww!) into helping her frame Cabot for her husband's death by really sharp blade. He goes on the run with his personal dwarf, and we see them wander for days in the desert(or that's what it feels like, anyway). During this time, we get an immense amount of buffalo shots from the two men in their tiny loin cloths. I SO did not need to see that dwarf's butt cheeks the fifteen times or so that they showed them! They see a slave caravan where the slaves are wearing toilet seats instead of collars around their necks, and the dwarf unfortunately stops Cabot from drinking some poisoned water. Dammit, Herve, couldn't you just have let him die? We would all have thanked you, believe me!They get out of the desert and save a slave girl from the market. Cabot gives her a lecture about loving freely(who does this guy think he is? John Brown Cabot?) then he goes back to the capitol city to try to rescue the Princess(who was in a wrestling match with a pair of lesbians) and stop the evil Queen and her creepy old High Priest adviser(Palance). Of course he succeeds, when in reality this guy would have had as much chance of winning the day as he would have had successfully hang gliding off of Mt. Everest. You'd at least think that the utterly infuriating little toad Watney would have been killed by the Queen, but no...the last scene is of this total moron walking down a road in 'America'(for America, read Italy), still wearing the lame ass costume he got in Gor. Once again I have to take my hat off to the Italians, who loved making films with scantily clad well oiled idiots pretending that they're big, bad swordsmen and wizards. These aren't even B grade films-they're more like Z-grade for the most part, although most of them do have the laugh factor going for them, since they're pure Italian cheese of the stinkiest kind.

Rob_Taylor Let's see.... take one of the more infamous literary staples, namely the Gor books by John Norman, convert it to film and you'd think you'd be onto a winner. Why? Well, the Gor books, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure, or pain, can be summed up as follows: Conan with pornography. Each and every novel was chock full of porn, sado-masochism and bondage. In short, a "raging-hormone-male-teenager's" wet dream. Hidden amongst the sleaze and thinly-veiled attempts to make the reader think of women as nothing but objects, there are actually some pretty good action-adventure stories. So it would seem that converting them to celluloid would be a winner, even if only on the soft-porn circuit.Sadly, Outlaw of Gor is nothing like the books. Given my description above, some might breathe a sigh of relief at that. Unfortunately, by taking away the sex, having a budget less than that of the average teenager's weekly pocket money and doing some awful re-inventing of the novels' original ideas (yes there were some!), the filmmakers literally killed the golden goose and replaced it with a prize turkey.Outlaw is just horrendous throughout, from the acting, the sets, the laughable "costumes", the editing and dialogue right down to the fight scenes that appeared to have been choreographed by the Marx Bros. But the worst thing is seeing how little they used the original material. Nevermind the porn, they plucked names out of the books and didn't do a whole lot else. Tarl Cabot, the hero of the novels, is translated into a weedy vegetarian who is totally against slavery - a complete reversal from the novels. Likewise the Priest-Kings - In the books alien insectoids who ruled the planet. In the movie we get.....Jack Palance, who doesn't seem to be in command of his own lines, let alone the planet. And yes, Jack leers and mugs his way throughout the movie, at least having the grace to look embarrassed at several points.The plot is feeble, centering around an evil Queen's attempts to take control of the city of Koroba by murdering her husband and blaming it on Cabot. There then follows interminable amounts of wandering about in the desert by Cabot and his midget henchman (I kid you not!). We're also treated to far too many shots of the midget's rear end during the film (I mentioned the costumes were rubbish, didn't I?) and awful moralising dialogue by Cabot about the evils of slavery.There are no special effects to speak of - the budget was too miniscule for that, just the heady excitement of one lame swordfight after another. At the end, which really sums up the whole movie and had me in hysterics, Tarl Cabot makes as if to snap his sword over his knee - a symbolic gesture of peace. Would have been good too, except that the sword does not break - it bends into a U shape like it was made out of thin tin. Yep, that's Outlaw of Gor for ya - all bent out of shape.Even on MST3K this is one of the lamest excuses for a movie. It really is best avoided.