Woodyanders After his wife and daughter are brutally murdered by a gang of vicious bikers, tough cop Steve Thrust (a laughably cardboard performance by the incredibly bland and stiff Tony Laschi) vows to exact a harsh revenge on both the bikers and the ruthless mobster who hired them to do the dirty deed in the first place.Boy, does this gloriously ghastly celluloid bilge possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: Ham-fisted (mis)direction by Frank Roach (who also wrote the by-the-numbers formulaic script), lousy acting by a lame no-name cast, ineptly staged action set pieces, clumsy use of strenuous slow motion, tin-eared dialogue (sample line: "Goodbye, scum!"), and a straight-down-the-line predictable plot which unfolds at a poky pace. Daryn Okada's glossy cinematography gives this picture its lone touch of class and professionalism. Rob Walsh's mechanically bouncy synthesizer score does the right-on rocking trick. Loaded with unintentionally uproarious moments (for example, one unlucky guy gets blown up by the bikers real good while taking care of business in a Port-O-Potty!), this baby overall sizes up as a complete cruddy hoot and a half.

HaemovoreRex Here's one that's hardly likely to tax any viewers; There's neither plot twists nor surprises in store here, just a very simple tale of revenge as our hero, the rather snazzily named (albeit incredibly bland chap) Steven Thrust, seeks retribution against a group of bikers and their employers who murdered his wife and son. It's a very much a by the numbers affair but is nonetheless strangely entertaining as we get to see the miscreants get their just deserts as the film progresses. Really not much else to report other than a special mention of a rather amusing scene near the beginning in which the bad boy bikers decide to make an impromptu stop at a portable toilet; They subsequently drop a grenade at the foot of it and speed off, blowing the hapless chap inside up just as he was presumably taking a dump!!! Talk about a rude awakening!