Wizard-8 I have found with these faux ninja movies coming out of Hong Kong is that they are either so bad they are hilarious, or they are tedious enough that you'll be hoping their ends come quickly. Sadly, with this particular Hong Kong ninja movie, there's not much entertainment value. Though these movies' plots are usually quite incoherent, the plot of this one is quite bewildering - something to do with a stolen microfilm. More disappointing was the newly shot ninja footage edited into an already existing movie. For the first third, just about all the ninja footage consists of ninjas observing the events of the already existing movie. Eventually the ninjas get to do a lot more, but what they do isn't particularly exciting or hilarious. It's just tedious. In fact, the entire movie more or less plays out this way. Even if you are a fan of these ninja mishmash movies, this particular one is best skipped.

HaemovoreRex This film also goes by the alternative title of Bionic Ninja. One slight problem immediately arises as a result however......there is also ANOTHER film sharing the exact same name! Oh deary, deary me.... Anyhoo, where to begin with this one? Well as far as I could decipher, the 'plot' involved the various protagonists' attempts to acquire a 'Top Technical Secret Film' (as it is repeatedly referred to) Amongst those wishing to get their hands on the film include a group of KGB hired Ninja, Tommy - a fitness fanatic CIA operative, two gormless cops (one of them endearingly named Fatso!) and at least two separate gangs. Added to this there's some poor bloke who was initially delivering the film (I think) who is repeatedly attacked for no discernible reason throughout the film with axes, machetes and sticks! (and on at least one occasion is even shot at to!) Things get more complex with at least two of the cast members from the 'original' film being hired by the director here to also appear in the newer, ninja themed segments. Sounds like a good idea right? Well, the problem is that one of the two (one of the cops who is also, we're led to believe, a friend of Tommy's) has put on at least a good couple of stones in weight in between the filming of the two obviously very separate films. The other bloke in addition has a completely different hair style! Erm.....a sight continuity problem there then....Anyway, to cut a long story short, there's sex, there's numerous fights, there's bad dubbing/voice over work and some atrocious acting aplenty! - Cool stuff then!!! (and I couldn't follow one iota of it!!!) The best bits are undoubtedly the ninja sequences though. Tommy first encounters these stealth assassins in a park whilst having an intensive workout. They subsequently beat the living crap out of him! Luckily however, his mate the cop turns up at a fortuitous and opportune moment and frightens the ninja assailants off with a gun. He then offers Tommy some sagacious advice to combat these 'Bloody wizards' as Tommy refers to them.......he recommends that Tommy should go and find a Ninja master to teach him the arts of ninjitsu. (Do they advertise in the Yellow Pages these days then?) Tommy takes his friends advice and finds an old Japanese Master who initially refuses to teach Tommy the ancient arts but does agree to give him a book on the subject. And what a good read it must have been for within about a day or so Tommy is a fully fledged ass kicking ninja! Whoa! I'm going onto Amazon to see if they stock a copy of this particular publication! Things come to a climax at what appears to be a dockyards storage facility with Tommy squaring off against the head evil Ninja (who is in possession of the film) and his cronies. After taking care of the lackeys Tommy undergoes a final miraculous transformation into a red ninja! A final sword fight then ensues between Tommy and his nemesis with a predictable outcome. With the evil ninja vanquished Tommy relieves him of the film and pulls a mightily smug look before departing to the airport, his mission now accomplished.What can I say? - This is absolutely unintelligible and bewildering stuff from beginning to end and is all the more fun for it! Truly a demented classic! (Just make sure to have a psychiatrist on standby after you've watched it!)

Mason Bliss Let's put it this way- I got it for a dollar with another ninja movie at a 99 cent store on the boardwalk.Not only is this movie just absolutely terrible in itself, the acting and script are even worse! The movie starts off explaining stuff about Hong Kong, goes to some American CIA agent in NY, intent on finding a top secret technical movie tape of some sort, to stop the Russians from having it.The CIA agent goes to china, and here we meet several other characters which were probably never given names. The CIA agent is forgotten, and he meets up with his police friends, and they suggest to find the NINJA MASTER!!!Back to the random characters, a retarded love triangle/ square thing is going on, and the main character is constantly being pursued by a gang. Eneter the NINJAS!More random fight scenes, and the CIA agent meets up with the NINJA MASTER! Then follows the best line in the movie: "Ninjas are using evil ninjutsu to disrupt world peace and create discord." "I want you to teach me Ninjutsu so I can use it against the Ninjas." more funny lines, "Positively, HM" "Okay now go do it"Everything about this movie is so horrible yet funny. The movie ends better than it started, and the main character is completely dropped from the story line. We have the final battle between the head ninja, who is Russian, along with two other ninjas that have UZi's. The CIA agent is suddenly a NINJA! WIth a red NINJA suit! Good fight scene, but kinda long.10/10 for comedic factor1/10 for actual movieAnother thing, some of these actors had great potential, like the two cops.