M Filmwatcher This came on a double DVD offer which, granted I only did pay 1.69 GBP for from eBay. However how it ended being bundled up with LAwnmower man which is actually a pretty well made and exciting film, is beyond me.The film seems to be about some guy played by Hugh Grant who is meeting somebody talking from a derelict building to discuss some book he is writing on the Neo Nazi movement. THe point at which you know the movie is something badly put together is when you listen to Tahnee Welch's acting. It is really not up to standard but you really cannot blame her for everything. However there is also Malcolm McDowell who actually gives very piercing looks but without stating just exactly what he is....it is pretty obvious he is "the" devil. The plot is COMPLETELY up the shoot. I could not believe someone bankrolled this. The movie is an example of how not to make a movie. Other funny aspects is the "old" technology of the time displayed on the film. It is seriously risible seeing Hugh Grant speak on a giant cell phone and pass an entire "book" to his rapidly acquired girlfriend (on the train) on a 3.5" floppy disk drive. Pretty lame movie .... more like a series of shots which were probably compiled by someone on some hard liquor at the time!

littleface OK this is more a list of events...there is NO storyline to this film.Me and a couple of mates somehow came across this DVD and decided to watch it.....what followed was a strange time in my life. i felt....disorientated...confused....scared...and amused (and that wasn't the beer).The plot follows some kind of meaningless nothing to nowhere and acting looks like it has been done by the actors as they sleep.Hugh Grant get on a train to Venice, he's writing a book on neo Nazis. Some neo Nazis get on it too and throw the conductor out of a window. they cut Hugh Grants hand then he goes and randomly sleeps with some woman, whose kid went missing. He gives her a floppy disk and says it contains a book and that she must keep it safe. OK.....Now they all get off the train together and decide to live together until grant goes and breaks into a warehouse and some people chase him out. Grant gets on a motorbike and some men chase him in a car. the car crashes and explodes and grant falls off his bike and lands on his head! (Explains a lot it think) I think he's then in a coma or something, then he wakes up and forgets everything. he has sex again the goes to drink some tea at a café, his woman comes along and gives him the disk back.....then grant runs halfway across Venice, falling through a pain of glass being carried down the street by 2 men (as u see all the time in Venice) some shots of someone walking up stairs are cut into this, and the love interests daughter is balancing on the edge of a balcony. Oops she falls but grant catches her and then.....well that's the end....a cheesy music comes on and grant has sex again and some of the shots are repeated.Malcolm McDowell just follows them round and ALL he does is stare at them from a distance.This film probably has about 30 Min's of footage. every McDowell shot is in slow mo and there are probably about 20mins of montages.But if u no anything about film...its so bad...its actually worth watching just so you can laugh at it.

cbraders One of those films that is so terribly awful in every way that it inadvertently has comedy moments. Worth a go if you like terrible dialogue, but be warned this film contains more filler than any other film this side of art school. The "experimental camera and bizarre costumes seem to be plucked from nowhere with no clear connection between various parts of the film. The acting in general is terribly poor with the dialogue comic when it tries to be menacing, Grant is the same as always therefore not great but at the same time not awful either. If you like David Lynch films this maybe for you as it is as confusing as films such as Mullholand Drive, but take into account that there is less meaning in this than even the most bizarre of Lynch's creations. Watch and laugh but do not expect to come away with anything to think about.

g_skerry I first saw 'train to hell' in France in 2004. It was in one of those 3-in-1 compilations - a sure sign of its poor quality. Its excellence, however, is belied by surely the most unrepresentatively titled film ever. Train to hell. No. train to Venice. Yes.I expected it to be a dark nightmarish train journey, culminating in some sort of death. However, the train appeared quite pleasant, apart from the odd camp German skinhead neo-Nazi stereotypes and Malcolm Macdowell, whose silence is enough to turn any milk sour with fear. Truly a spectacular start. It gets better.Martin Gemmel gets Amnesia, but his constant questions 'who am I? Who is Martin Gemmel?' should surely be replaced with 'What is this film? Is there a plot?' If he had asked these, I'm sure he would have never recovered. Just as you think, 55 minutes in, that the film is about to go somewhere, it ends. Malcom Macdowell, looking ominous, stares for five minutes, then Hugh Grant runs over to save a child from a high fall. Cut to some Venice Tourist Board shots of Venice by Helicopter, and Bam! the film ends. Just over an hour, containing at least 20 minutes of needless footage of Venice and trains, this film has everything a film should: gratuitous sex, violence, explosions, a high profile actor (Macdowell), a rising star (Grant), Nazis, Slow motion, psychoanalytical 'barn' shots.Everyone should watch this film. It is amazing.