BA_Harrison I was hoping that Mistress of the Apes would be an enjoyable piece of jungle sexploitation, with gorgeous blonde lead Jenny Neumann being the female equivalent of Tarzan, swinging through the trees in nothing but a loincloth; this is most definitely not the case.Neumann plays Susan Jamison, wife of a famous anthropologist, who travels to the Congo region to try and find her missing husband, unaware that he has been murdered by poachers. What follows is a rather tepid adventure, with Susan and her pals Laura and Paul learning the truth and trying to avoid becoming the poachers' next victims, while also befriending a troop of ape-men, the missing link between Australopithecus and homo sapiens.While there is a little exploitative content - most notably the (not-too-graphic) rape of Laura by the baddies, and Susan breast-feeding an ape-child (who looks just like any ordinary baby) and having sex with one of the lucky banana-eating knuckle-draggers - the film is mostly a real snooze fest.As a fan of horror films and the art of special effects make-up, I found that the most interesting thing about the whole movie was the fact that the ape-men makeup was created by Oscar winner Greg Cannom (The Lost Boys, The Mask) and Oscar nominee Rob Bottin (Robocop, The Thing).

Leofwine_draca MISTRESS OF THE APES is one of many gender-twist versions of TARZAN that have been made over the years. In the hands of writer/director Larry Buchanan, this one's a cheap and entirely lamentable affair, with the sole thing going for it that it was filmed in Kenya. Don't expect any kind of wildlife footage or much travelogue footage either, because Buchanan's poor budget means that most of this is shot in close-up featuring just a handful of actors. The story is indistinguishable and for an exploitation film this is remarkably tame, with just a few brief nude and sexy scenes. The romance/sex scene with the ape-man is laughably conceived with the cheesiest softcore staging. Overall, this is a real dud.

Drago_Head_Tilt This particularly odd Buchanan concoction opens with some street punks with guns holding-up a NYC hospital for drugs. Jenny Neumann is a pregnant patient who suffers a miscarriage as a result. While recuperating she gets word that photographs taken by her photographer husband who went missing in the Congo have been discovered. They seem to show missing link ape men (pretty good face make-up by Greg Cannom, assisted by Rob Bottin). So she goes to "Africa" (Malibu State Park, not a convincing substitute) to continue the research. Her guide and most of the men she meets (including Stuart Lancaster from Russ Meyer movies as a poacher) are total sleazeballs, so a welcome alternative is to befriend the ape men, eventually sleeping with one (!) and staying in the jungle to become a mother (or "Ape Lady" as the jaunty, out-of-place theme tune, not dissimilar to the one from QUEEN KONG, puts it). Amid this loopiness, the sexy, very leggy Neumann has welcome topless scenes. One guy says to his girl "why don't you just shut up and...function". With Barbara Leigh and a man-in-a-suit gorilla. It's just the kind of endlessly tedious yet hypnotically odd obscurity that late night TV was made for. Nicholas Josef von Sternberg (son of highly respected Golden Age Hollywood Director Josef von Sternberg) was the Cinematographer (he had previously shot DOLEMITE, ALEX Joseph AND HIS WIVES and DEATH DRUG among others, and went on to shoot the likes of SKINHEADS, NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER 2 and HOSPITAL MASSACRE). Buchanan made THE LOCH NESS MONSTER next.Movie reviews @ spinegrinderweb.com

JerseyJo I bought this film based on various descriptions I had read of it and the fact that it is a Larry Buchanan piece. I was really let down. Larry must have purchased some old film at a yard sale, the color is all washed out and some of the scenes almost look black and white. The first 30 or 40 minutes are quite boring and even the action scenes are lackluster. The "near men" look like a troop of Jose Canseco look alikes.I felt embarrassed for Jenny Neumann's acting inability. And the Mistress of the Apes song is incredibly dumb. The film is not even "it's so bad it's good" quality. Sadly, one time viewing only.