Bezenby Directed by Seth Shutthef*ckupStarring: Dan Ohgodno, Dora Ohgodyes, Helen Wehavetogetoutofherefast, John ImnotgoingwithoutmyfriendsYou know a film is going to be terrible when you have a horrible premonition that even the single pound coin you hand over the counter in the pound shop is too much for a movie. Having OCD*, I had to buy something, and it was either this or some other pile of Krapps which had demons in it but also had the cast all lined up on the cover like Scream and all them krappenshite films. So, Memorial Day Killer it was.My expectations were so low I was tripping over them because:1) This is a post-Scream slasher film. 2) This is a slasher film. 3) And a very low budget one at that. 4) And it wants to rip-off Friday the 13thAfter a really ugly couple are killed by a masked psychopath - the action switches to a lake where all the kids are returning after something happened years before with some guy who died and once again I have to say what I say too often in reviews these days - you all know the drill. Let's look at our characters, eh? That'll help, although I can only remember some of their names. One of their names in fact...There's Seth, who won't let his girlfriend out to do a pee or something, and his girlfriend, and some skinny guy who's modelled himself slightly on the really annoying skinny guy from Scream but also likes to get in his girlfriend's face and shout at her, and then there's a guy who likes saying 'Shut the feck up' every two minutes and his girlfriend, who may or may not be the worst actress in this film. That's where most of your brain power will go on this film - trying to decide who is the worst actor of the lot. Seth gets a good run at it with his 'Oh god no, oh god no, oh god no, oh god, oh god, oh god yes' speech right before he gets captured by the killer, but skinny guy's acting is so schizophrenic I didn't know if he was the killer, a red herring, or just utter crap. For me, however, it's down to the people who are left standing at the end - Mister Shutthef*ckup (f*cking awful actor) and Mrs Didn'tdoanythinguntiltheend (terrible...just terrible). The banter between them, the dialogue, and the Alicia Silverstone-style furrowed brow acting had me almost nailing my knackers to a table in frustration. I couldn't figure out the end because of their mumbling, and my budgies screaming at me to put the film off!Acting can be forgiven if there's perhaps another redeeming feature laying around the film somewhere - so let's turn to the gore. There's kind of some, but when you compare it to some of the older slasher flicks this one is really tame. There's a nice torture sequence later on in the film (skinny guy does get his thankfully), but a lot of this film is film in almost extreme close-up, so not only are you getting to see a lot of bad complexions, you also DON'T get to see anything particularly cool, because the camera is zoomed in too close.Blech. Can't see this one being a favourite even with Slasher freaks - doesn't do anything new with the genre or go in a gory fashion or even a sleazy one, just sort of sits there on your screen, being all crap and that.*I don't know if I've got OCD.

Michael O'Keefe Three years ago, Rachel(Therese Fretwell) was partying at the lake with her friends when her brother falls out of a boat and drowns. Rachel's friends think it is time for her to stop beating herself up and taking blame for something she had no control over. So grab the brew and something to chew and head back to the same lake that has been in Rachel's constant nightmares. As expected, a bloodbath has already started when two of the friends are splattered before even heading to the party. This flick has the feel of a high school play where everyone forgot their lines and 'winged it'...very badly! Writer Marcos Gabriel gave himself the meatier role as Rachel's boyfriend Leo. Outside of Fretwell and Gabriel there are some pretty lame acting and a few characters you would like to choke the crap out of before they get 'offed'. Giving attention to a few more players that had the nerve to appear: Erin Gallagher, Andrew Williams, Jasmine Trice and Derek Nieves. This is one MEMORIAL DAY you wouldn't mind missing.

itstoocool22 I have to say although this movie was formulaic throughout with a plot stolen from films like Friday the 13th/I Know What You Did Last Summer, this movie wasn't that bad. In fact it wasn't as bad as most of the Horror films Hollywood has released recently. The killings although at times a little too imaginative were in most instances just that, original. The cast was mediocre which is to be expected from low-budget features but much better than what that much bigger studio Artisan/Lions Gate has been offering. My only real complaint that wasn't due to the film's budget, which must have been small, was the contrived "twist" ending. I'm sorry but this is what put this film in the bad category for me. The ending was just stupid and tacked on. Before that I was a little bored, but actually enjoying it. 4/10

Angelus-16 If you can believe it, *another* group of teens return to *another* lakeside cabin three years after *another* one of those fatal 'accidents' claimed one of their number. Low and behold, a psycho wearing a patterned hockey mask (a cheap papery one at that) turns up to waste them one by one. This mechanical 'Friday the 13th' knock off gained slight notoriety as one of the first digitally-shot features, but that's where the interesting facts end and all that remains is a predictable, amateur production with sub-par performances and a recurring boom-mic intrusion. A last-second twist does little to lift the spirits, and 'Memorial Day' is something best tossed in a lake and forgotten about. One for insane slasher collectors only.