Machete Joe

2010 "Fear the blade."
Machete Joe
2.6| 1h21m| en| More Info
Released: 29 January 2010 Released
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Synopsis

A group of out-of-work actors decide to take their careers into their own hands by shooting a low-budget horror film, about an urban myth. With only 15 days to shoot their unfinished script, at a remote castle in the desert, getting through the first night becomes a nightmare. As their egos begin to surface so do the dead bodies.

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eddyhate this movie is the worst movie you can ever watch the only reason i'm sure some reviews give 10 as a rating it's because it's an almost all black casting and let me tell you they took the worst of all the black actors that are out there they act worse than samuel L. jackson in "snakes on a plane" and that's pretty hard to beat and the movie is even worse than "snakes on a plane" and the 3.1 rating is completely false no one can watch this movie and think it's good the story is bad the actors are bad the SFX are bad the camera work is bad damn they most of meant -3.1 stars that would make more sense if that's the best movie an almost all black casting and probably crew can make please don't do it again you make the wayans bros look bad if you want to lose an hour and a half of your life go buy a bottle of prune juice you'll have a better time with that than watching this shflickt
Scott LeBrun But then, anybody who decides to go ahead and watch this will find that out. As a devoted watcher of horror movies of all budgets, I would have liked to have enjoyed this one a little more. Overall, it's just way too routine to really work, and any moments that could conceivably be pinpointed as the highlights are few and far between. A pity, because this is the first genre film that I've seen since 1990's "Def by Temptation" that had a predominantly black cast (with a few token white guys on hand here). Written by Gordon Greene, one of its actors, it tells the story of a deformed murderer who as a child had seen his mother, a prostitute, slaughtered by a john. This same individual then makes life miserable for a film crew attempting to tell his story. Unfortunately, it's too hard to really care for many of these characters; by the end, one can start liking them a bit more, but by then it's too little, too late. The makeup effects and gore are decent enough, so if the prospective viewer is a gore junkie, they at least can get some entertainment out of this. The cast does feature some familiar faces, but they're basically just picking up a pay cheque: the great Ernie Hudson is reduced to a thankless cameo role as the local lawman, who flirts with his sexy young deputy but who doesn't do much else. One will also recognize character actor Art Evans, as the aged driver Sammy; he's been in such things as "Fright Night" and "Die Hard 2". As for the other actors, they're tolerable at best, but one good thing is that some of the ladies are quite attractive; too bad there's no sex or nudity in this thing. This is particularly tough going in its first half, which mostly consists of the characters arguing and fighting with each other. The horror quotient finally picks up in the second half, but the final body count may be too small for some tastes. The killer, played by Paul Campbell, just isn't that interesting overall. This is the kind of thing I couldn't really recommend to anybody, unless they're die hard horror fanatics willing to try out anything they see in a store, and even they might come away disappointed. Proceed at your own risk. Four out of 10.
slatromhsiloof Anyone who would give this movie 10 stars is either part of the production crew or severely brain damaged. This film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Do yourself a favor and avoid this steaming pile of feces. Two grade school children with a webcam could put together a better production than this. I've seen videos on U tube that were far more entertaining. I would imagine they pulled the script from a Universal Studios port-a-potty, then enticed a few homeless people to act in the film by offering them day old donuts as payment. The rest of the budget probably went to hookers and blow. Take a hint producers of this turd: If you are going to make a movie this horrible, you had better switch to pornography as those movies don't depend on stories or acting ability. Sorry for spoiling your scam of throwing up fake 10 star reviews in an effort to sucker people into paying money to watch your horrible waste of time. If you want to put up these fake reviews you should probably put up a more believable 4 stars, as even that is far more than this movie deserves. Just so you know, I saw this movie FOR FREE and it was turned off after the first ten minutes. It was that bad.
qisys I've seen several films in this genre. Most of them, with the exception of this well done work, are badly lighted. In effect, in other horror films, a viewer often gets bombarded with flashing lights and dark scenes where most of the actors cannot be seen well. This film, in my opinion, is well written, the actors are fine, and the thrills are well paced, and the lighting is excellent, sometimes, even beautiful. In closing, I comment on a previous review by someone called, 'TheBeardedWonder': This person indicated "... I don't want to spend more time than I have to here..." yet their piece was relatively lengthy, and "...nothing is good about it..." using universal quantifiers, like, "nothing is good". All this seems to me to be a bit disingenuous.