danielemerson This is one of legendary auteur Andy Sidaris' later efforts, and the cracks are beginning to show in his formula.The women who are the centrepiece of his films used to be somewhat enhanced, but by this point, they are positively deformed. It is a wonder they can stand up, let alone perform. The standard Sidaris squib shootout in the woods becomes even less believable than usual when your leading ladies can no longer hide behind a tree without something sticking out.The early pacing in the film is slow, and if you've been watching Andy's films in order, the action set-pieces look recycled.The female leads in this effort make you realise that previous Sidaris muses Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton and Roberta Vasquez, while not actually great actors, brought a ton more enthusiasm, effort and fun to their parts than the cast of 'Return to Savage Beach'. Julie Strain, in particular, recites her lines as if she'd rather be anywhere else.However, their male beefcake counterparts are dull enough to make the women look vaguely competent.The upsides? Gerald Okamura has fun with his brief screen time and Sidaris regular Rodrigo Obregon is very enjoyable, even channelling a bit of Gomez Addams when he dances with Carrie Westcott's character/breasts. So, not primo triple-G entertainment. You can find more enjoyment in earlier works like 'Hard Ticket', 'Do or Die' or a few others from this director. They have essentially the same ingredients, but are just better cooked.

unbrokenmetal With the tagline „The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original „Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named „Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from „Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing „bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.

gridoon "Return to Savage Beach" inevitably draws comparisons with its predecessor, "Savage Beach" (1989), and these comparisons aren't favorable: for one thing, the exotic locations are captured with much less flair this time around, and for another, Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith are no Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton. With those two, you could almost forget that they were former Playboy Playmates and accept them as B-movie actresses; with these two, you can never do that (also, this film proves that there is such a thing as "too much silicon"). Everything here is recycled: the jokes, the weapons, the actors, even footage from "Savage Beach". Julie Strain looks bored, and Christian Letelier wins the "so bad it's funny" award for his line-reading. Carrie Westcott is marginally hotter than the other girls, due to the perpetual look of contempt on her face. You know something is wrong when a pro-wrestler (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell) actually does the most enjoyable acting in the movie! (*1/2)

Sir Weeze This has everything you could ever want in a horrible movie: awful dialogue, atrotious acting, zero story, gigantic breasts, explosions, a villian in a Phantom of the Opera mask, and Buff Bagwell! Great to watch with a group of people with a sense of humor.