John Noonan When a film starts off with "Come in, I won't bite you. Unless you want me to" and goes downhill from there you know you are in trouble.Total waste of time, from the script (see above) to the special affects (sharks look like kids bathtub play things) , there is nothing good about this movie. The acting is what you would expect from the TV show, so, umm, not good.I think it is the first film I have seen in a while that I can think of nothing at all good to say about it.SyFy channel are known for their cheesiness, they outdid themselves this time. Unless you are a fan (and even then) avoid.

wes-connors New Jersey shore's "Seaside Heights" residents get ready to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday. Meanwhile, cartoon-like sharks begin killing people. The animated creatures are called albino sharks and have an old score to settle. During the deadly heat-wave of 1916, the boardwalk construction attracted sharks with vibrations. After hefty former "N-Sync" singer Joey Fatone is attacked, everyone thinks the danger is over. But the sharks have an insatiable appetite. Body-builder Jeremy Luke (as TC, meaning "The Complication") and bronzed girlfriend Melissa Molinaro (as Nooki) are the stars. There is some humor attempted throughout this TV movie revision of the shark classic "Jaws" (1975). For a couple of reasons, the best part of this movie is the ending.** Jersey Shore Shark Attack (6/9/12) John Shepphird ~ Jeremy Luke, Melissa Molinaro, Daniel Booko, Joey Russo

saveferris78 Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore.For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) and as most exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people.That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?"On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you...there are a few funny moments...but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.

TheLittleSongbird Despite my general dislike for SyFy movies, I did tune in to Jersey Shore Shark Attack to see how it would parody one of the biggest nadirs of any TV programme of recent times. I wouldn't say Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a great movie, but I find it more watchable and entertaining than the show. There are some saving graces, some decent scenery, the clever Jaws theme queue during Quint's speech, the brief performance of Joey Fatone and his death scene and the more than admirable performance of Jack Scaglia who has always come across as conscientious no matter how bad the film is. However, I can't say much about the rest of the cast. Paul Sorvino doesn't have that much to do and phones in his performance, while Tony Sirico and William Atherton's turns are not bad in performance but all too brief to make a bigger impression.The Jersey Shore cast act in a very exaggerated fashion, and in the case of Vinny Guadagnino and the girl playing Snooki annoyingly so in alternative to hilariously. The sharks don't fare much better either sadly, their designs are some of the phoniest I've seen in any SyFy movie recently and they are not very menacing. They don't seem to move very naturally, I wasn't sure whether it was the fault of the editing, which was choppy, or the sharks themselves, but there seemed to be a lot of jumping around in their later scenes especially. The death scenes have been worse in previous movies definitely, but they're still rather predictable and lacking tension(Fatone's was the best one), and I was disappointed that the annoying characters weren't killed off.Anybody expecting dumb, blatantly silly storytelling and logic being thrown out the window won't be disappointed in Jersey Shore Shark Attack. There are two instances involving the sharks where you do have to suspend disbelief, one where you are told that in order to kill a shark you shoot through its left eye as it's the eye of the devil, and another where you learn that a shark can be killed by being shot through its fin. And then there are sub-plots that are not only not that interesting but make the characters more unlikeable than they already are, such as the slobs vs. snobs subplot. It does deserve credit though that unlike other SyFy movies the pacing doesn't manage to be dull. The characters are deliberate caricatures certainly, but because the performances are so exaggerated and stereotypical I did find it hard to care for them.In regard to the dialogue, that is also very corny that is full of Jersey-ese and supposedly tongue-in-cheek catchphrases, that depending on who you are may make you tear your hair out in irritation. I do agree that the basic tone of the film does feel like a genre movie rather than part of SyFy's output, though there is enough of SyFy's notorious trademarks(ie. the special effects) to remind us that it is actually SyFy. Overall, I didn't find Jersey Shore Shark Attack a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but I did find it entertaining, even if it is often stupid with annoying characters, blatant silliness in both the story and script and cheap effects. 4/10 Bethany Cox