KaZenPhi
One of the most entertaining movies I've seen all year for all the wrong reasons. The story is simple: satellites start to fall from the sky and the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland has accidentally created a tiny black hole that is threatening Europe and a small group of children who just inexplicably happened to be visiting the place that very day. Not the worst set-up for a Roland Emmerich-type flick: a vaguely realistic set-up, over-the-top special effects, family drama in the times of catastrophe and cheesy heroism. However, "Heroes" took the competence and massive budget of the Hollywood disaster porno genre and replaced it with awful acting, a baffling script (complete with some uncomfortably patriotic lines from our dear chancellor) and a stunning lack of understanding in the fields of geography, geology, astronomy, computers, telecommunications and physics. How gravity actually works seems to elude the makers of this "film". To put it shortly: an absolute train wreck, that tries its hardest to use every cliché in the book and rip off every Roland Emmerich flick ever made but fails spectacularly.To put it even shorter: it's glorious!Absolutely everything in this movie is wrong, it has to be seen to be believed! I watched it with a good friend of mine, we had a couple of beers and at times laughed so hard we missed entire segments of dialog. The amount of stupid put into every vibrant piece of this masterful mosaic of awfulness is simply inspiring and might warrant a second viewing. If you are a trash-fan, this is your El Dorado. If you are a science aficionado, who loves to tear the implausibilities of popcorn movies apart, you will be kept busy and your brain might be slowly transformed into some kind of blissful yellow mush. If you just want to watch a good, entertaining movie you will be in great pain and I pity your soul. So, in conclusion I am not sure if I should give "Heroes" 1 or 10 stars. It is a marvelously dire use for your spare two hours if you expect an actual movie, but if you can get behind a lovable trash extravaganza, like battlefield earth or plan 9 from outer space I wholeheartedly recommend it. "Heroes" is so bad it's genius. It's the best kind of bad, there's not a single boring moment and the makers clearly tried to create an epic masterpiece to celebrate the German Unification day (October 3, the date this was broadcast) which makes their incompetence all the more gratifying for adherers of Schadenfreude and connoisseurs of the fine taste of bad cinema. "Heroes" has been tailor-made from the get-go to dissolve on impact into a sad, sticky liquid of failure, for us to wallow in and die a happy pile of human goo.My rating of 5 represents the middle of the road. My cineaste-self gave it a 1, my Ed Wood-fanboy self gave it a 10 so to speak. Choose for yourself.
mrks-js
Jesus Christ. this is by far the worst movie i have seen. the actors are just horrible. at no time i believed somebody actually performed his role. what the hell is wrong with the people who took part in this movie. they must have seen that this is going to end badly. German movies have never been the best, we had some good ones. but this is a complete failure.next time you better take this money you got from the movie fonds and give it to people that can do something more viable with it. like feeding people in third world countries.i registered a IMDb just to write this review - you are very welcome RTL.
commandercohead
I have seen this film minutes before on German TV and I am shocked, how bad German film productions can get these days. I have never seen such a stupid movie. Bad story, horrible actors and actresses, bad directing, cheap effects. Dude, are they serious? 13 Million Euros? RTL is a bad TV-channel and much worse at producing movies... really. There are much more entertaining b- or c-movies out there, even Asylum movies are more entertaining than this weird mud. We know that Germany is mostly not very good at making entertaining movies, but RTL prove that you can go much deeper into the mud. Don't buy it, don't see it - it's not worth any attention, really...
trash1234567890
And the worst is what I got. I know that it was wrong to have any kind of expectations, but this is worse than any other German films I've ever seen before.While effects and camera work are "decent" (not good but a lot better than what you usually get here), the script for this movie was ridiculous. Introducing thousands of characters without any meaning or sense (I couldn't even remember half of their names, most didn't really serve any purpose at all), bad acting and pseudo tragedy... I wanted to laugh it off but it almost made me cry and ashamed of my country's film industry.I do recommend watching this movie though, if you are interested in getting into the industry and need to learn what you should NOT do when making a movie.