BA_Harrison
Repetitive quips about chlorine; endless scenes of mullet-wearing jocks failing to shoot basketball hoops; a metal band who only play one tune and whose supposedly great singer seems to have forgotten his lyrics; a confused looking TV chat show host and a desperately unfunny comedian (played convincingly by a confused looking TV chat show host and a desperately unfunny comedian) exchanging crap one-liners; and a geek with a strange lower lip: this is just some of the inane garbage to be found in Ghoul School—quite simply, one of the lamest excuses for a horror comedy that I have ever had the misfortune to see (and I've seen quite a few).This dreadful film opens with a pair of losers busting their way into the basement of a school, where they try to force the janitor to reveal the whereabouts of.... err... well, actually, I have no idea what it is they are after, but they don't find it. After shooting the janitor for his lack of co-operation, the pair locate a hidden room in which they discover a control panel with two big buttons, one of which they decide to push; this releases chemicals into the school's water supply, turning anyone unfortunate enough to come in contact with the contaminated H20 into slavering, blue, pointy toothed monsters hungry for human flesh.Clearly aware of the clumsy, derivative, and totally nonsensical nature of his own poorly constructed script (a muddled blend of Return Of The Living Dead and Demons), writer/director Timothy O'Rawe doesn't waste any energy trying to deliver genuine laughs or scares, preferring instead to chance his luck with the 'let's make this so bad, it might get a cult following' route. The gamble doesn't pay off: this is so bad, it's unbearable, and is unlikely to find a following even amongst the craziest of horror fans.Avoid.
pyromanticways
OK, this film has its flaws, but you can't say it's not even fun! I've bought the "Super Bloody Splatter University" edition, released by Camp Motion Pictures: those guys are doing really a great job with their dvds (I'm collecting them all, maybe!) and I'd heavily suggest you to get a copy of Ghoul School, at least for the extras! There are four short films ("Say no to drugs" is my favourite) from the same authors of Ghoul School and a fantastic 1988 promo reel (why didn't they make the ALL film like that? it was awesome!) In the end, I was a little disappointed with the film in itself: poor editing and sound, some green blood (I hate it when it's not red! I hated it in Evil Dead's sequel too! I can't figure out it's only a way to avoid strong MPAA restrictions!.. At least it was just ghouls' blood: the people's was its real colour) and the film just ends like...WTF?! On the other hand, I'm glad to have chosen this edition (no, I don't work for them!..) and own this funny b-movie!
Woodyanders
This uproariously atrocious piece of cheerfully cheap'n'chintzy low-budget horror splatter schlock has to be one of the funniest things I've had the pleasure to watch in quite some time. Granted, most of the humor is strictly of the unintentional kind, but it's still often sidesplitting just the same. A toxic chemical gets into the water supply at a New Jersey high school. A bunch of folks are transformed into fanged, growling, blue-skinned flesh-eating zombies who go on the rampage. Trapped inside the school with the ghouls are two irritating horror movie fanboy geeks and a severely talent-challenged wailing, roaring, head-banging heavy metal hair band. Boy, does this delightfully dreadful doozy possess all the right-so-utterly-wrong-they're-paradoxically-right schlock flick stuff to measure up as a real four-star gut-busting stinker: sloppy direction, a crude wafer-thin script, obnoxious foul-mouthed dialogue (the ridiculously excessive overuse of the almighty "f" bomb is downright mind-numbing), terrible acting, a tacky hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, cruddy make-up f/x, a hopelessly dated groovy-bumping rock soundtrack, laughably hokey rinky-dink over-the-top gross-out gore, and a horrendous abrupt ending. Poor Richard Bright (Al Neri in the "Godfather" features!) pops up as the jerky principal. Befuddled talk show host Joe Franklin and annoying comedian Jackie "the Joke Man" Martling briefly appear as themselves in an especially awful drawn-out sequence (Martling tells Franklin some of the worst, most groan-inducing and painfully unfunny jokes you never want to hear). Favorite line: "This is one very *beep*ed-up nightmare." Filmed in Wayne, New Jersey, where stuff like this happens all the time. A shamefully unsung should-be camp crap classic.
ants-4
This movie is a riot! It must have been directed with the idea of adding all the bad production values of a B rated picture. Favorite moments are the pool scene with the two swim coaches. The woman coach has an obviously fake blonde wig and the guy doesn't have the sound match what he's saying at one point, so it looks like the old Godzilla movies. The expressions on their faces when they see the ghouls are PRICELESS! Also the (meant to be bad) editing of the Jackie Martling scenes with Joe Franklin are a hoot. This intentional laugh at itself movie tickles you just as it's grossing you out. This is destined to be a cult classic!