mattphilaya I'm actually reviewing this after seeing it on an old MST3K episode on Netflix, and the humorous commentary was the only reason I bothered watching it beyond the opening scene. The one positive thing I can say is that it's a good example of a bad movie. It left me feeling sorry for the director, actors, and others associated with production of this film. It looks like it was written in the 1970s and filmed in the 1980s with 1960s special effects on a 1950s budget.

Mike Kiker Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic... "Future War" neither takes place in the future, nor is there a war. Discuss...Thank you Jewish Mike Myers in drag, now for a serious movie review.Once again, another piece of media trash that I came across via the schlock cinematic gateway that is Mystery Science Theater 3000. Crappy acting, no plot, really bad dialogue, and the film equivalent of shadow puppets, only with real (albeit poorly made) puppets! (I know that term is known as forced perspective, but shadow puppets are the reference that everyone unfamiliar with film terminology will understand.)Here's the story... A guy trapped on a stock footage spaceship makes his way to Earth via an escape pod. He's tracked down by "cyborgs" with mullets, mustaches, and gigantic chins who like to travel with dinosaur puppets that like to feast on fat guys and the homeless. A nun hits the guy with her car and nurses him back to health, all the while he somehow is able to learn the English language in a matter of days and for some reason knows tons of random quotes from the Bible. After a while of plotlessness, they decide to try and kill off the cyborgs and dinosaur puppets, and then apparently they do that, I don't know the movie doesn't explain that much, and then the guy's shirt rips off a few times, and then the movie just ends with an article about the guy becoming a teen councilor (would that really be news-worthy, even for a small quarter-of-a-page-long article in a local newspaper?).This movie just plain sucks! It's not at all original or clever in anyway. As the kind of bad movie that usually ends up on MST3K it's not campy, it's just crap. There's absolutely no reason to watch this on it's own without the riffing and occasional commercial or comical interruption. Believe me, it's necessary to give you a little breathing room, especially for this film. And the fact that most of the cast and crew hoped that the movie would eventually end up on MST3K just proves it's crappiness.

Clay Loomis Calm down now, all of you calling this the worst movie you have ever seen. I agree, it IS a really horrible movie and rates its space on the IMDb Bottom 100 (and why isn't it on that list? It rates a 1.7 and has over 1500 votes, but it's not there! It should be listed somewhere between 27 and 38). I'm of a firm belief, however, that we need another 1-10 rating chart for those movies that get below a 2 on the regular IMDb voting system. I mean there's bad, worse, and THE WORST. Not all of them can be THE WORST.As bad as this movie is, I can think of three others that I would call The Worst before this one. Depending on my current mood, Night Train to Mundo Fine, Monster a-Go Go, and Manos: The Hands of Fate all are worse than Future War. But when it gets down to movies that have no talent associated with them, not actors, writers, directors or crew, the voting gets very tight and personally subjective. (For me and Manos, for instance, that music(?) made me want to smash my DVD player with my TV set.) Which brings me back to my belief that we need a new chart for those movies that rate in the 1's on the regular voting scale.But don't get your panties in a bunch. They're just movies after all, and we DO watch them on purpose. The fuss reminds me of a line from a good movie, at the end of Animal House: REMAIN CALM! ALL IS WELL!

junk-monkey 'Suck' is not normally a word that features in my vocabulary as a pejorative. There are thousands of words that can be used to describe crappy, cheap, incoherent, stupid, lousy abysmally awful movies like this one, but for some reason I have forgotten them all after this onslaught of tackily made crud. There is no other way of putting it. It sucks. It sucks big time. It is sucky. Sucky sucky sucky. Ultra sucky.The whole movie looks like it was done in single takes - with whoever was free on Thursday nights - how else can you explain the inclusion of the line delivered by the cop who arrives at the scene of a crime."What do we've got?" What?"What do we've got?" There can have been no other take and nothing to cut away to. No other explanation. Inept and amateur, the movie takes place in sets that consisted mostly of empty cardboard boxes; either stacked up so people can fight with them or after they were flattened out, taped together and quickly painted grey to make the shoddiest church and cop station ever filmed.It lurches from set piece to set piece with no coherent plot. Characters appear and disappear from the story almost at random and there is next to no attempt at any characterisation, character development, or even any kind of acting beyond the Joey Tribbiani soap opera level. Actually, "set pieces" is a vast overstatement. There isn't a set piece in the whole movie - they are so all loose and flabby they'd make a half-set jelly look like a building brick.All of this was grist to the mill of MST3K and provided the basis for one of their funniest shows.