BA_Harrison According to IMDb's summary, Embrace of the Vampire is about an 18-year-old college freshman (Alyssa Milano) who is seduced by a handsome vampire lover (Martin Kemp) who introduces her to a dark world of carnal desires.WRONG!To cut a long story short, it's about getting its 22-year-old star Alyssa Milano to show her tits as often as possible! The weak, romantic (or should that be 'new romantic'?) Gothic horror plot merely serves as an excuse for the actress to bare her breasts (with the occasional shot of her ass). Not that I'm complaining of course—I just would have preferred a stronger story to go with the copious T&A from young Alyssa.In addition to Milano's nudity, male viewers are also treated to Charlotte Lewis as a bisexual photographer who indulges in a spot of lesbian action with Alyssa; we also get a brief but welcome turn from Jennifer Tilly as a bar room slut, the actress offering no nudity but plenty of raunch as always. Martin Kemp and Harold Pruett are on hand for the ladies in the audience, the Spandau Ballet star playing the sappiest bloodsucker imaginable (he makes the sparkly vampires from Twilight seem positively terrifying by comparison), with Pruett his young love rival.Flat direction, zero gore, a hilarious turn from Kemp (he's comedy gold, that much is true!), risible dialogue, and Alyssa's tits. 4/10.

zambonilord There is only one reason this movie was made, So that Alyssa Milano could show of her post, Who's the Boss, Breast implants. Seriously, this movie vampire lore doesn't even try to make sense. A vampire who was sired back in Playboy's version of the Renissance, By three vampire chicks with Blow dried hair and modern day tattoos. He's lived for a few hundred years and now that he's seen Alyssa Milano he MUST have her by her 18th birthday, or he'll die literally. Which kind of sucks. I had no idea Vampirism had an expiration date.In the end the lesbian Photographer scene IS the movie there is nothing else to see, the Photographer is the most interesting character and does not get enough screen time. And Alyssa Milano's breasts are very nice.PS: I will also just say this now, (SPOILER) Jeniffer Tilly WAS the vampire, She wasn't a servant, she had the same tattoo and disappeared after the jump cut. Congrads you just jerked to gay soft-core.

slayrrr666 "Embrace of the Vampire" is an enjoyable erotic vampire entry, but a dull horror film.**SPOILERS**About to fall into Eternal Sleep, a lonely Vampire, (Martin Kemp) finds that young college student Charlotte Wells, (Alyssa Milano) is the perfect reincarnation of his lost-love, and vows to win her over. Knowing of her love for fellow student Chris, (Harold Pruitt) he concocts a plan to break them up and allow her to join her by his side. As she begins to feel the effects of his power, controlling her thoughts and making her experience weird dreams and visions, her friends Nicole, (Rachel True) and Eliza, (Jordan Ladd) begin to wonder if it has anything to do with her upbringing more than anything else and try to get her to loosen up. As the time for his plans get closer to realization, he realizes what's been going on all along and races to save her from his deadly grip.The Good News: There wasn't a whole lot to really enjoy with this one. One of the better aspects to this one, though, is the film's abundant sexuality, and the ease of which it plays around with those elements. Being a mainstream release, it doesn't really seem likely to be able to get as much of that as it shows in here, but it's all the more welcome because of being included. The fact that the opening of the movie, which features a non-nude-but-still-erotic sequence only to turn into a foursome orgy with completely nude participants for lengthy scene. It's quite fun to watch, and just about most later scenes featuring this plus are that way as well. That the lead manages to get all of it makes it even better, managing to make due with a fully-exposed undressing scene, several instances where the dress she's wearing at the time blows open and several sex scenes mixed in amongst it all. The best scene, though, is the innocent photo-shoot that soon turns into a pseudo-lesbian encounter that features a lot of it going on, and it's lengthy and quite enjoyable. This is probably the main reason to see this, as these scenes are among one of the main interesting factors among the film. The only other thing it manages to do somewhat right is the continual theme of making the vampire encounters seem like dreams rather than actual visitations, and at times it's hard to tell the difference. There's certainly some, especially the trippy and visually-impressive drug-trip that turns into a vampire-feasting session, but it's still not entirely clear, and that's what makes it so much fun. Some of the other encounters, namely the meeting at the party and a lively part in a schoolroom lecture, are a bit more noteworthy for actually doing something in the course of the film, but it's still not enough to save it beyond all the flesh exposed.The Bad News: There was a lot of flaws to this one. Of the more damaging ones, none are much bigger than the film's incredible dullness. This one doesn't really have much in the way of action, it really doesn't have much energy during it's run and it's pretty hard to stay interested in what's going on. Much of this has to deal with the other factors working against the film, but it's still not all them and still has something to deal with this. One of the other problems that also lends into this one is the fact that there's not a whole lot of fear to be generated from it's vampire lead. The stereotypical pale-faced, whining, romantically-inclined preening vampire, he barely has anything to do with any type of horror actions and comes off as weak, nonthreatening and not really worthwhile. The stereotype allows for more scenes to be of him running around trying to let his plan come to fruition than anything that could be done to make him scary. One huge blunder is, during the opening narration, he voices his plans and pretty much takes the suspense out of what he's trying to do right from the first frame of the film, which is a colossal mistake and one it doesn't really get over. That the plan basically involves him turning a woman into a nympho for his bride, there's not a whole lot of fear than can be derived from the situation, and instead it uses that for the movie's main plus, but it's still something that doesn't generate a lot of horror and makes the film quite hard to fathom as a horror movie. The last big one is the film's criminal lack of blood, or gore, as what little squirts that are seen in here are barely worth having in for what little they provide. Seeing the teeth turn red, only because it's darker than what's around them, and a small smear against a door are all that's in here, making this one quite dry, and along with the dullness and weak vampire lead, constitute this one's flaws.The Final Verdict: With a lot of it's pluses relegated to it's sexuality and not much else, it's really hard to find much who'll like this one. The main one's who'll like it will undoubtedly be those who prefer these more romantic vampire fare or looking for a quick sleaze fix, otherwise heed with extreme caution.Rated R: Full Nudity, several sex scenes, Language and Mild Violence

The_Void Martin Kemp is probably best known, acting wise, for his role in gangster flick The Krays, and British soap opera Eastenders, and that is a fact that he should be thankful for; as no one would like to be remembered for a film like this. Embrace of the Vampire is a non-event of massive proportions, as the unoriginal premise is never capitalised upon, and it's all bolstered by a host of inept performances. Martin Kemp is particularly awful as 'The Vampire'. He tries and tries to look sexy and foreboding, but succeeds only in looking silly as his accent is appalling and he's about as sexy as Pat Butcher and Pauline Fowler in a wet T-Shirt competition. The film takes obvious influence from Dracula, and follows Kemp's vampire as we see him become the undead and try desperately to find the woman he loved while he was human. Around the same time, Catholic girl Charlotte begins having dreams of the vampire, and it's not long before he's trying to will her to him in order for the pair to spend their eternal lives together.The film is famous mostly for its female lead and her lovely breasts. Alyssa Milano is Embrace of the Vampire's only positive element, and were it not for her; this film would really be the pits. I'm sure Milano will be most people's reason for watching - me included - and it's definitely a good thing that the film puts a lot of its focus on sex. The sex scenes are soft-core at best, and unfortunately they're not very erotic. It is a shame that Martin Kemp was cast in the lead as had a better actor have taken his place, the film could have been passable...the man really doesn't know how to play an enticing role. There's a few scenes of gore, but the film is never very nasty and while some of them are well shot, they're again poorly acted and not really worth seeing. The plot is very thinly spread, and the film definitely needed a lot more 'bite'. It all boils down to an ending typical of the rest of the film, as rather than coming to a head in an exciting and interesting way; it just peters out. Overall, Embrace of the Vampire is merely a kick in the teeth and definitely doesn't come recommended.