soulexpress If the action genre has its own version of Tommy Wiseau, it's Kirk Fogg, the writer, director, and star of DISTORTION, as ineptly made a thriller as "The Room" was a drama.The plot: Porter (Fogg) is a homeless, drug-addicted ex-L.A. cop with an inexplicably faithful girlfriend, Rachel (Sarah Lahti). Desperate for money, Rachel agrees to appear in a live Internet porn feed. But something goes wrong. Porter is knocked unconscious and wakes up alone next to some railroad tracks. He obsessively searches for the missing Rachel, harming several people and committing numerous felonies in the process.Fogg created a cast of unpleasant, unlikable, and thoroughly unsympathetic characters. When Porter held a gun to his own head and yammered on about being "The Rifleman," I was wishing he'd pull the trigger so this godawful movie would end. But no such luck. He remains alive to steal the car of a sweet, gentle man who's trying to get him to an AA meeting—never mind that Porter's drug of choice is cocaine— to physically assault and threaten people with information on Rachel's whereabouts, to try manipulating his ex- partner into helping him look for Rachel, and to break into a man's house and force him at gunpoint to take him to where Rachel is being held. (That part confused me as Porter had previously demanded only addresses.) Given all that, you may understand why I felt absolutely no compassion or sympathy for Porter, even at his lowest and most despairing of moments, i.e. nearly every second of the film's 83 minutes.Sarah Lahti is beautiful—too beautiful to convince me that her character is a homeless junkie who does Internet porn. While Porter looks disheveled and acts like the paranoid maniac that his coke habit created, Rachel looks and behaves with relative normalcy. Hell, she even has perfect teeth! Have you ever met a junkie with good dental habits? Meanwhile, the supporting characters bear such clever names as Diner Tough Guy, Waitress, Cook, Security Guard, Doorman, Porn Actor, and Henchman.The film is awash with artsy-fartsy and unnecessary slow-motion flashbacks, not to mention more quick cuts than a week's worth of music videos. And Fogg's idea of dialogue includes this little gem: "Don't give up five minutes before the miracle, man. You know, they say most accidents occur within a five-mile radius of the home. Man, you're almost home! Don't f--- it up now." There's also this bit from a phone conversation: "Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Christopher Jenkins. He represents my interests."DISTORTION's main theme is the thin line between fantasy and reality. Kirk Fogg's fantasy was to make a film that earned him acclaim as a great writer, director, and actor. The reality? His film sucks. The glowing reviews here undoubtedly came from the director's friends and relatives, at his request.

MBunge When you write, direct and star in a movie, you're looking to prove something. Maybe you want to prove something to others or maybe it's just to yourself. Kirk Fogg proved two things with Distortion. He doesn't know his ass from his elbow as a filmmaker, but he does really, really, really love slow motion.Jiminy Christmas, it's hard to know where to start with this thing. It's almost like a kaleidoscope of crap where I can't separate out the individual elements of suckitude. Do I start with how the main character spends most of the film standing around and watching other people do things? Or do I begin with how the film seems to go into slo-mo every 45 seconds, no matter what's happening in the story? What about the oddity of the F-word being used more in the first 5 minutes than it is in the whole rest of the movie? I just can't decide. I mean, Fogg wrote a movie about internet porn yet it appears he's never seen what internet porn is and how it works. The cast is full of characters named things like "Cop Buddy", "Warehouse Party Girl", "Diner Bully" and yes, there's even a guy named simply "Henchman". I also can't leave out that Distortion contains not one but two of the most pointless flashbacks I've ever seen. And all of this awfulness is crammed into just 83 minutes of screen time.I'm not even sure I can recount the basics of the plot without retching. An addled meth addict named Porter (Kirk Fogg) and his way-too-pretty-to-be-a-homeless-crack-whore girlfriend Rachel (Sara Lahti) desperately need money. An old acquaintance sets up Rachel with the chance to earn some bucks doing internet porn. While she's sleepwalking through that, Porter's getting high with other the other porn performers. Then a guy named Frank (Jack Rubio) shows up. He looks like Colin Farrell's stunt double from Miami Vice and appears to kidnap Rachel while Porter gets knocked out. Porter wakes up near the railroad tracks and sets out to find and rescue his…oh no…BLAUUUUUGH. No, I couldn't get through it without retching.Fogg has no idea how to write interesting dialog. He has no clue what makes a character sympathetic to the audience. He doesn't know how to shoot a scene or even edit his own footage competently. I don't think he could even explain why there are two separate flashback subplots in his own script.It seems like Kirk Fogg spent a lot of time around people who make movies and came to believe that he could do it too. He can't. Please spare yourself the drudgery of watching Distortion.

charlytully . . . according to the DVD box for DISTORTION. I had a root canal this month, so I can honestly say watching this movie is MORE enjoyable than that other experience. Does DISTORTION have anything going for it besides being more pleasurable than a prolonged dental procedure? Not much.Pointers for those wishing to experience DISTORTION: 1)"Gorman" refers to a desert outpost in California shown in occasional flashbacks, NOT a person. 2)If you're tempted to rent this because the box says a chick disappears in the middle of making a porno, forget it. Rachel (played by Sarah Lahti) is snatched fully clothed, and the minimal nudity in this feature is of the incidental-by-extras variety. 3)While this movie's main theme is Pirandelloism--the conflict between illusion and reality--a similar but much better title to check out is an effort directed by and starring Hannibal Lecter himself (Sir Anthony Hopkins), entitled SLIPSTREAM (2007). Even SLIPSTREAM (2005) starring Sean Astin is better than DISTORTION.

johemmel i didn't expect much, but at least some Sunday afternoon entertainment. be warned: this is not even a movie which invites you to eat some popcorn have a coke and feed your dog in between. add a bad script to some cheesy camera-work, combine it with actors, who would fail every backyard audition, and sum it up with one of the worst soundtracks ever composed - now you get an impression of the qualitative standard. ah, the plot: drugged ex-cop wants to free his drugged girl-friend, who got snatched while shooting a porno. don't get me wrong - i love amateur- and low budget-movies if they are done with passion and creativity, but this one really sucks in all possible ways...