don-93090 This is one of the worst wastes of time I've ever sat through. Having said that, there's a place for movies like this. My daughter (18 at the time) and a bunch of friends brought this over to watch. The best part of the whole experience was the cracks I and others got to make about how bad it was. If every trying to win a "who can bring the worst movie" contest....this is your blue ribbon. Best way I described the acting: "Ok, I'm guessing the guy directing this had to offer this woman a part at 3:00 a.m. in his Dead Clowns movie to get laid that night". That's my guess on much of how the casting and acting was done.I never write reviews or take time for this stuff....but this deserved it. I was looking up "Dead Clowns" to remind my daughter of it when I saw the new trailer to "IT" by Steven King coming out this year.

xxsquidgetxx Jesus Freak ME Christ.. How freakin gay can you get? I mean really.. This other a-hole wrote on here that this film was "GREAT FOR THE BUDGET HE HAD!!" what was the freakin budget, $1.50?!? Seeing my grandma naked in the shower is more terrifying than this piece of poop. Anyone who has a problem with what I just said, or whoever wants to question my criticism, go buy a bag full of male genetalia, eat them, then choke and die. Don't freakin watch this malarkey it sucks. And the one star I gave, this freakin piece of dookie doesn't even deserve it. I just put that because there was nothing lower. Screw this movie, IN THE BUNG HOLE! Now I have to pretend to write more freakin text about this movie.. but it sucks. There's not enough gayness in the world to be able to describe this stupid freakin movie in 10 lines. Except the fact that I'm seriously thinking of suing the people that made this movie for mental anguish. THIS SUCKED! BOO!

hadmatter In Dead Clowns, Lions Gate Entertainment demonstrates once again that their distribution wing is located several stories below the barrel that other studios only dare to scrape the bottom of. First allow me to set the stage by quoting from the marvelous plot synopsis located on the back of the packet: "As a hurricane approaches the small coastal town of Port Emmett, an innocent group of residents are {sic} visited by an unspeakable horror. Fifty years ago a bridge collapsed in the small town, plunging a circus train into the dark water below. The clown car was never recovered. {emphasis mine} Tonight the zombie clowns emerge from the bay to exact revenge on the descendants of those who left them buried under the silt and mud for half a century." Given that this synopsis contains the immortal phrase "The clown car was never recovered", which causes me to erupt with spontaneous laughter every time I hear it, rest assured that I was not expecting a high quality piece of entertainment. What I was expecting (unfortunately for me) was some piece of entertainment...Dead Clowns starts with a ponderous lead-in filled with insistent nature shots, which neither reinforce the important fact that a hurricane is supposed to be coming, nor even adhere to any particular continuity concerning the time of day. The ostensible purpose of these scenes is actually to introduce the audience to our cast of low-rent victims, but Brinke Stevens as the adult woman who grew up in Port Emmett, and is now returning to show her husband her home-town, is the only one of particular significance.She will soon be picked off, like everybody else in Dead Clowns, but her role actually serves a purpose. Unable to afford to show the circus train crash, writer-director-composer Steve Sessions opts instead to have Brinke Stevens' character recount the tale to her husband. One gets the impression that Stevens thought they would be cutting away from her monologue, or at least overlaying her with milky stock footage of a train and a few notes of public domain calliope music, but there was nothing. Just Brinke Stevens in a crummy motel room, looking out at the gentle breeze and smattering of raindrops that was standing in for an oncoming hurricane.Eventually, the titular clowns arrive, after some underwater footage showing the cheerfully-clad corpses shuffling through the silt. The clowns themselves look like they might have spent five decades under water, all rot and rubber and no lips. But their clown suits are inexplicably brand new, right down to their white, white gloves. Even in the underwater shots. And somehow they manage to eat the citizens of Port Emmett (quite sloppily, in long drawn-out scenes of cannibalism accompanied by celery-biting, pasta-slurping sound effects) without ever getting blood on their outfits. After chewing his way through a screaming teenager who was spewing blood, a zombie clown still wears an unblemished ruffle around his neck. Did Sessions have to return these clown suits to a rental place after filming? This obviously-shot-on-video effort does nothing to legitimize DV as a medium, nor does it add anything to the recently-bloated zombie genre. At least the actors generally seem to be acting, which puts Dead Clowns solidly ahead of many other LGE offerings, but few of them are successful in their thespian attempts. The utter lack of tension can't be blamed wholly on either the script or the cast, but the two of them together conspire to keep all semblance of fear or suspense (or audience involvement) as far away from the viewing experience as possible. You would think that any director could take the premise "zombie clowns" and make at least one interesting thing happen (be honest, you thought of at least one interesting thing just now, didn't you?) and in this respect, Steve Sessions has managed to deliver a shock.

jamesbourke50 There will be times in a movie collectors life, when he or she will purchase a movie based solely on hype alone, or maybe just mere whispers that they might have heard through the grapevine.Such was the case with Steve Sessions latest movie "Dead Clowns" now if you ever visited the web site dedicated to David Decoteau, run by Eric Spudic, the man himself has never been been short of mentioning his own movies within the said site. This was were i spotted the possible potential behind the movie itself, i believe if memory serves, Spudic served up a still of himself playing a character confined to a wheelchair, Anyway, the title alone should sell the movie. Remember movies like "Killers Klowns From Outer Space" or even "Clownhouse" Two very different movies with varying approaches to both mood and style with perhaps a dash of wit and menace thrown in for good measure.Alas, "Dead Clowns" Presents nothing of any of those qualities. Perhaps Budgetary constraints, i guess we'll never know. However if you borrow the basic premise from John Carpenter's "The Fog" of course putting putting your own unique spin on it. You would expect to gage some sort of entertainment value from the proceedings, do anyone remember the movie "Vulgar" made by people who should have known better.One things for sure though, for marquee value if nothing else, Sessions does know how to fill his movie, with the likes of Debbie Rochon and Brinke Stevens being his main two stars. Actually come to think of it, they were the only two stars. Utilising Brinke Stevens to tell the grisly story of how the Dead Clowns came to be fifty years previous, always a good plot devise, when you obviously don't have the money to show it.As the the Dead Clowns themselves, a motley crew at best, wearing what clowns should wear, although bearing a very striking resemblance to the zombie's within Lucio Fulci's Zombie, The movie was just too dark, so dark you'd need a flashlight to watch it, even in this Unrated version courtesy of a Company called Crypt Keeper, the gore was obscured by the need of the director feeling like he wanted to prolong proceedings.The version i purchased came in at 111 Minutes. Too long, very uninvolving, a very nice idea, however poorly executed. Perhaps in the hands of someone with a keen eye, and a sharper imagination, Dead Clowns could really have been something, instead, it's just another movie trying to cash in and make out, failing badly.Dead Clowns! Dead and Buried! and that's that.