jhkp This is a cleverly written, enjoyable comedy that was topical in 1953, and still has some things to say about today's world. Topical in '53 because meat prices were high due to shortages. And the price of meat is, surprisingly, a major plot point of the story.Van Johnson is a young poetry instructor at a college in Maine. His wife, Janet Leigh (in the title role), is pregnant with their first child. They and the other newer members of the faculty are trying to make ends meet, because teachers don't make much money. Pregnant women (at least in 1953) are supposed to get their nutrition from a diet that includes a good amount of red meat. But the inability to pay for it means a lot of fish and other substitutes, instead. This causes Van to feel inadequate and Janet to question whether they're able to afford to raise a child. Coincidentally, Johnson happens to be the son of a Texas cattle rancher (Louis Calhern), and his father has always wanted him to give up what he considers a silly job and return to work the ranch. Janet, worried about their future, wonders if that may not be such a bad idea.Calhern decides to pay the kids a visit, and he drops in unexpectedly. Meanwhile, Van is in line for a promotion, but only if he can win over his petty, curmudgeonly boss (Gene Lockhart). The promotion is just what the little family needs to make raising a future child less of a financial hardship. But Van is constitutionally incapable of being an "apple polisher," and his prospects for the promotion diminish every time he socializes with his boss.Early on, we see a scene that demonstrates Van is a good teacher. It's clear he has a calling to the profession. So we want him to follow his heart. But when dad comes he makes a pretty good case for the ranch as a future prospect.The plot gets more complicated from here on, involving a butcher shop price war. But what's nice about the film is that people are more reasonable and thoughtful than they often are in films. This is a refreshing aspect to Confidentially Connie. Characters attempt to see one another's point of view. They attempt to be nice to one another. They're good people. There really is no villain. There are some wise observations about relationships (husband-wife, father-son, father-in-law- daughter-in-law), and some intelligent arguments made for the importance of teachers.This isn't a big, expensive film; most of it was filmed on the M-G-M back lot, in black and white, and it's less that 80 minutes long. But it's a solid, smart little comedy and I think you'll be diverted, entertained, and amused. No belly laughs, but a lot of chuckles and grins.The stars are appealing. Van Johnson proves once again that he was underrated as an actor, Janet Leigh is as believable as ever, and both of them radiate charm. Louis Calhern has to stretch a bit to play a rancher, but stretch he does. His acting is big but doesn't go over the top, and he plays a very winning part. Walter Slezak (as a butcher involved in price wars) does a great job, and Gene Lockhart is perfect as Van's boss. In other parts, Marilyn Erskine and Hayden Roarke do good jobs.Direction is by comedy ace Eddie Buzzell.

Lee Eisenberg The dated "Confidentially Connie" represents the era when people viewed meat as one of the healthiest foods, and also portrays a nuclear family (husband's the breadwinner, wife stays home and cooks). I think that the movie wants to see itself as a satire on the desire for success at any cost, but it comes across as a "Leave It to Beaver"-style story. True, the price war was funny, but now that we know that red meat causes heart disease and colon cancer (from which the carnivorous John Wayne probably would have died had he not smoked himself to death).Basically, it's a hokey movie. And personally, having been to Texas but never Maine, I can say that I'd never trade Maine for Texas.PS: Hayden Rorke, who played Simmonds, is best known as Dr. Bellows on "I Dream of Jeannie".

Applause Meter This is a comedy that is hilariously nutso bad. Van Johnson is Joe Bedloe, a teacher in a small New England college. He's perfectly happy instilling a new generation of American students with an appreciation for the writing of William Shakespeare. His wife Connie, portrayed by Janet Leigh, is expecting their first child and they live in a cute little two-story house. But being a professional intellectual doesn't provide enough money to keep the family table filled with plates of meat. "Haven't seen a rib roast since 1948." The town butcher Emil Spangenberg, played by Walter Slezak, prescribes a dietary regimen for the mother-to-be: "Meat. So I'd have a strong, healthy baby." In this town of meat hungry carnivores, populated by meat junkies, the butcher's role is tantamount to the one provided today by dispensers of medical marijuana. De-toxing from the red meat craving by going cold turkey is to be avoided at all costs. That's where Joe's father Opie Bedloe comes into the picture. He's of all things a prosperous Texas cattle baron! When he comes to visit the couple he is horrified to learn that his son is such a poor family provider. It's not that this husband can't provide his wife with jewels and furs and lavish vacations. His beef is that Professor Joe can't shower the woman with…beef! Cultural satire when well done can be a great comedic look at society. When done in this movie it is a ham handed misfire, a plate of baloney adulterated by coy whimsy and artificial ingredients. I give this a 2 in recognition of what I interpret as scriptwriter's Max Shulman's mockery of the American mindset of entitlement to all the consumer bounties of life. Hip, hip, hooray! It's the American Way!

max von meyerling Unintentionally one of the weirdest mainstream movies ever made. Let me put it this way: if you can't get your hands on a copy, try recording it when its on TCM, invite the kids over, and pass a cold 40 around with the holder having to take a slug every time the word "meat" is mentioned. My guess is that you will all wind up in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning. Maybe you'll meet some baby boomer there whose parents were influenced by this film and now suffering chest pains. This film is so meat mad that one suspects that times were so lean at MGM that CONFIDENTIALLY CONNIE was an early example of product placement, cooked up by the meat industry. Its a shame that none of the filmmakers are still around to be grilled. In context, CONFIDENTIALLY CONNIE is one of the true mainstream post-war American films. Today what is taught in school, as well as discussed critically, are the noirs, but this dark underside of American life were the exceptions. The rule was, in the first phase, meet, pair up and procreate. CONFIDENTIALLY CONNIE is part of phase two (at this time, probably because of the sustained political attacks such as the infamous HUAC witch hunts, most noirs had swung their POV's 180 ° to become more police orientated) as Connie and Joe Bedloe (as in the island whereon the Statue of Liberty is located) are already married and expecting a baby. We are now at the point where the new nuclear family has to make a home and fit into society as useful participants in the nations glorious future. Its just that in this film that means lots and lots of meat, primarily cheap meat!The picture opens with what would be recognized today as the punch line. Janet Leigh is sitting in the waiting room of her Obstetrician smoking. She puts out her cigarette and sees the doctor who tells her that the first three months were the hardest and now all she has to do is take it easy and eat plenty of meat and we're off. Leigh can't afford to buy meat because her husband, Van Johnson, is a poorly paid college instructor. He has the opportunity to advance to Assistant Professor but the dean, Gene Lockhart, draws out the process among several candidates in order to be invited to their houses for dinner where meat will be served. He especially delights in predicting what meat will be served- pot roast, meat balls, etc. CONFIDENTIALLY CONNIE becomes something like a zombie movie with every inhabitant of this small Maine town obsessed with ingesting meat. This is no recent development either as a meating of the town's butchers fills a large room. Van Johnson's father, Louis Calhern, happens to own "the second largest cattle ranch in west Texas". He comes for a visit in a stew about his son returning to run the ranch. Anxious about his grandchild's health, he arranges with Leigh's butcher to sell her meat at half price. This ruse results in a price war with the price of meat lowered to ridiculous prices (down from porterhouse @ $1.60 lb.). The whole town becomes hysterical in a frenzy of meat buying. Trucks arrive unloading sides of beef, people carry overflowing shopping bags full of meat down the street, freezer rentals soar, people stampede about with a glazed look, etc. There is some lip service given to the idea that teaching isn't merely a low paying job but a higher calling the very existence of The American Democracy depends on which makes the availability of meat seem like society's way of honoring that commitment. It always gets back to meat. There isn't a plea to raise teachers pay but to rather reward them with meat. The plenitude of meat means that the dean can stop ribbing the rivals for the professorship and give the job to the best candidate, Hayden Rourke, who has somehow outflanked Van Johnson for the job. No fault as Van Johnson and his pop are reunited and the picture ends with Van Johnson and Janet Leigh bringing the little critter (a boy) back to the ranch where there is more meat, though still on the hoof. No worry about the Bedloes moving back to the ranch, (presumably Van Johnson could teach in west Texas) but its just a visit, and he maintains his new nuclear family as a separate entity in what Americas call Family Values and advertisers call an independent family unit.By the time of this film Janet Leigh was pretty much the perfect wife, 1950s edition. She succeed Myrna Loy and the contrast is telling about the times. Whereas Myrna Loy was sophisticated, svelte and witty, a creature of the night with a cocktail glass in her hand and usually childless, Janet Leigh was direct, down to earth, pneumatic, (another 50s obsession), a daytime beauty who wore an apron to show she was domestically inclined and, most importantly, eager and anxious to reproduce. She was often depicted as a single mother still overtly desirable despite being with child (Holiday Affair, Angels in the Outfield). It can be said that the 50s really ended when she was so famously butchered in the shower in PSYCHO.Unlike the meat and marry films of the late 40s, there is no attempt to identify ex-servicemen and their problems with reintegration. Unlike noirs there is no reference to either the Great Depression or the War. The only reference to the past is a nostalgic sigh when remembering the price of meat way back in 1948. It always gets back to meat. Max Schulman, was a specialist in gently satirizing the foibles of small town petite bourgeois life, the sort of weak joshing which passed for something beefier in the 50s and now forgotten save for the occasional revivals of the Dobie Gillis TV series.