piratecannon Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's? How about Deliverance? Maybe even Wrong Turn? Tony Elwood's Cold Storage is mishmash of all of these films—a "movie medley," of sorts. One would think that, given the sheer entertainment value possible when movies such as these are combined (shlock though they are), the final product would be nothing short of a delightful little tale of mountainside gore and inbred shenanigans. That, however, is not the case.Cold Storage is about an aspiring actress named Melissa who leaves her Charlotte area residence (woot!) to take on a gig in a rural (and I mean rural) Tennessee mountain town. On the way there, a bird crashes into her windshield and she somehow manages to fly out of her car and land on her head. Never mind the fact that the whole plot hinges on stray fowl: how did her car door open (without the automobile flipping over) and how did she manage to hit the blacktop in a "jackhammer" position? I know it's supposed to be over-the-top, but defying the laws of physics is an entirely different matter.So, here's our starry-eyed actress, lying prostrate and paralyzed in the middle of a Tennessee back road. The next person to come along, of course, is a fella named Clive. He's a local who has delusions of courting a long-departed nurse who was kind to him in his youth. He scoops up Melissa and carries her home, and eventually his fractured mind assigns her the identity of the aforementioned love of his life. The problem with all this is that Melissa soon dies due to her injuries, and Clive seems to take no notice. He even parades her rotting corpse around town in his rusted out clunker.This does make for some humorous moments, but the extreme nature of some of the funnier bits—such as when Clive "brushes his teeth" with a straight razor and pops a tick the size of a quarter with his bare hands —are oddly counterbalanced by what were supposed to have been moments of poignant reflection on the part of our anti-hero. These moments are so strangely juxtaposed that it makes the movie feel as if it's constantly teetering on the edge of oblivion. It just can't seem to make a clear statement about what sort of story it'd like to be, and viewers are left wondering if it's okay to laugh at scenes that could be taken as comical or pseudo-serious.To add to the woes, the whole production is hampered by atrocious acting from the very beginning. Even though this is a goofy horror/thriller at heart, the characters still need to be at least moderately believable—as is the case with any piece of effective storytelling—to elicit some degree of concern from viewers. With Cold Storage, we're given something akin to a late night round of charades that's punctuated by badly delivered (and badly written) dialogue. At times, wincingly so.There's also the stock characters of the incompetent Sheriff and the wizened local, both of whom are—strangely enough—friends (and both of whom advise Melissa's sister and ex-boyfriend to take different courses of action to try and locate said missing person).Even though it's got a few humorous moments, Cold Storage is a mess. If you're looking for goofy laughs and horror films of the hillbilly variety, check out Wrong Turn. At least then you'll know that it's all very much tongue-in-cheek.

GUENOT PHILIPPE Above all, I will insist on the fact that this film is surprising, very unusual, among all the horror and survival movies we can watch since so many years. It could look like an ordinary slasher, taking place in the lost Appalachian mountains or anywhere else in the American wilderness, with the usual red necks hanging around. Clichés among clichés. DELIVERANCE was the very beginning of all this. Yes, I was very pleased to find at last a feature that could bring some fresh air to this kind of cinéma. Here, no real red necks, but ordinary people from the country side, who have weird habits - see the sheriff eating his egg yolks with a straw !!- and give us an interesting study of how they live. The best thing I loved in this film was the lonely man's character. All along the film, he is presented as a poor guy. And he is. In many other movies, characters like him are kidnappers, bad guys who torture and kill lost urban tourists. In this flick, you feel sympathy for him. After all, he did not kill the girl deceased in her car accident.The only villain on the film is killed by our lead.Our lead who is finally considered by the other characters like the REAL bad guy. I like this kind of way to build a story. At the beginning of the film, you may think that this man is the evil, and then you see you're wrong, and after one hour and a half, you finally get back, but not in a proper way. You may feel ashes or bitterness in your mouth. Because the moral is not entirely respected.And I am very fond of this. That changes.

bbsalamander Do not mess with those back wood inbreed mumble mouth Hillbillies, being out of touch with reality can mess up your social skills to say the least. Our main man Clive (Nick Searcy) is one out of touch and crazy boy and he has love on his mind. Nick Searcy who plays Clive is 100% convincing as a twisted redneck freak and had me squirming in my chair and thinking this is one nasty foul smelling odd ball. When a missing young lady's wimp of a boy friend and bad to the bone sister go looking for her they find Clive in all his sick glory and the fight is on. Good low budget movie with a group of fine actors make this worth a look, heck you will be planing your next vacation around Clive's Bed and Breakfast.

innocuous I'm not sure exactly what genre this film belongs to, but it's pretty effective at giving one the "creeps." (Is it a slasher film? Psychological horror? Action-thriller?) The basic scenario (treating someone who is dead as if they are still living, including trying to feed them and conversing with them) has been done hundreds of times, but "Cold Storage" gives us an above-average take on it.I have to give the director a WIN for one aspect of the film and a big FAIL for another.*****SPOILER***** The WIN is for the smooth transition between life and death for the victim. She's clearly alive when taken captive, but she's clearly dead within 24 hours or so. When did she die? Could she have survived with proper medical attention? The director treats this with little regard, as it's really not important to the story. And he's right.The FAIL is for the victim clearly moving after she is dead. In numerous scenes, the head bobs slightly and the hair moves. Now, if it's an actress in those scenes, I think they could have done a better job of keeping her still, as she's a bit of a distraction. If it's not an actress, they should have stabilized it to prevent unintentional movement. I might even consider that the director is trying to make us uneasy by suggesting that she may not actually be dead, or that the weird guy thinks she is moving, but I suspect that this is a bit too subtle.*****END SPOILERS***** A worthwhile movie for most horror fans.