FlashCallahan Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition. But the Sultan of Turkey, who makes a great deal of money through taxing the merchants who have to pass through his country on the current route, sends his best spy, Fatima, to wreck the trip, but she ultimately falls for the charm of Columbus....Innuendo ahoy!! COC (which nobody is calling it), an innuendo in itself, was the first Carry On... film in twenty years, and feature series regular Jim Dale. Now due to the fact that he was a regular, he appears to be, along with a cameo from Jack Douglas, to be making an effort with the dire script and story.Watching it twenty five years since it's release, it's a veritable who's who of sketch/game show, sitcoms, one hit wonder hosts, and the bloke who ran Oz cabs in Eastenders.So for nostalgia value, it's worth seeing just to see so many prolific artists slumming it with a script that is homophobic, racist, sexist, and ultimately downright silly for the best part of the film.So why did I find on occasion to be tittering like an old woman who laughed at The Roly Poly's when they were a staple part of Saturday night TV.Simple, because it's hilarious to see the innuendo literally forced from the mouths of those spouting the inane material.Clarey is the main culprit in this, at a time when he was more famous for being called 'The Joan Collins Fan Club', but when he began his TV career, his act was basically sending up the fact that he was homosexual.He had no material, and here he appears to be revelling in the fact that he is being self deprecating to his sexuality.There isn't much of a story, it's just an excuse to get a chock full of famous Brits trying to steal a scene.And the punchline? It was the highest grossing Columbus film of the three that were released in 1992.Terrible, but you'll watch it to the end.

Jackson Booth-Millard It was perhaps coincidence that the last Carry On film ever made (thirteen years after the final compilation film, That's Carry On) was also the last one I had to watch, having watched all thirty in a non-chronological order over the years, and sadly it is not a good one. Basically Christopher Columbus (Jim Dale) is sure that he can sail the seven seas to find a different route to the far East and discovers new countries. To do this he needs finance, so he convinces King Ferdinand (Leslie Phillips) and Queen Isabella (June Whitfield) of Spain to give him the money he needs to hire a boat and get a crew together. Also coming along on the trip however is spy Fatima (Sara Crowe) who has been sent by The Sultan of Turkey (Rik Mayall) to sabotage the journey so that he will not lose the money he gets through taxing people. Eventually after many incidents along the way Columbus and the crew do come across a new country, later to become America, and they get to know The Chief (The Nutty Professor's Larry Miller) and all the other residents, until they return home with a fortune of (unreal) gold. I will be honest and say that I didn't really follow or care what was going on. Also starring Peter Richardson as Bart Columbus, Alexei Sayle as Achmed, Julian Clary as Don Juan Diego, Bernard Cribbins as Mordecai Mendoza, Richard Wilson as Don Juan Felipe, Keith Allen as Pepi the Poisoner, Nigel Planer as The Wazir, Andrew Bailey as Genghis, Burt Kwouk as Wang, Tony Slattery as Baba the Messenger, Maureen Lipman as Countess Esmeralda, Holly Aird as Maria, Jon Pertwee as Duke of Costa Brava, Martin Clunes as Martin, Who Framed Roger Rabbit's Charles Fleischer as Pontiac, Jack Douglas as Marco the Cereal Killer, Chris Langham as Hubba and Peter Gilmore as Governor of the Canaries. Kenneth Williams, Sid James, Frankie Howerd, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques and Peter Butterworth had all passed away, and Barbara Windsor (who rightly said the script was "crap"), Joan Sims, Bernard Bresslew and Terry Scott refused to take part, only Dale, Gilmore, Phillips, Pertwee and Whitfield came back for another, the rest of the cast consists mostly of rising and alternative comedians. The cast is good, but having them is pointless because the film is so bad, the Carry On films are a British institution and something to be remembered when they were good, and this was only made to coincide with the 500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus' discovery of the America. The good Carry On films (Cleo, Screaming, Don't Lose Your Head, Up the Khyber, Camping, Again Doctor) all came out in the 1960's, it is in the 1970's that the innuendos and double entendre turned into pure filth and rubbish, especially in England and Carry on Emmannuelle - which along with this are the worst, this is a never funny and crap comedy. Poor!

petersj-2 Some movies can be so bad that they are funny. The trouble with this movie is that it tries desperately to be funny but isn't. Many looked forward to seeing a new Carry on movie but despite a very good and talented cast this movie is very hard to sit through. Its hard to say why it doesn't work but its probably because the genre has out lived its used by date. The old carry on movies had a loyal and faithful audience but they belonged to another time. These days we can watch them and they bring back sweet memories of sitting in an old theatre (like the Grosovenor in Melbourne)and licking on your Dixi ice cream. It is rather nice that the gay characters don't do the silly hinting and that Julian Clary can be quite open. He seems to be the only performer who seems to get a laugh. Thankfully most people support gay rights and same sex relationships are simply a life style choice. "Carry on Columbus" really is a terrible mess and there are no laughs.

Sebastian Carr The original Carry On series has a certain kitsch charm. They were smutty, low budget attempts to appeal to the masses, which broadly succeeded in putting a smile on the nation's face. Great casts of talented comic actors such as Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Barbara Windsor gave their all to leave a superb record of the humour of the time. Fourteen years after the original series drew to a close, largely because it was no longer relevant to the country, someone got the bright idea to revive the tradition. I can almost hear the smug conversations as the likes of Julian Clary and Rik Mayall decided to undertake what they thought would be a simple project. How miserably they failed. It is an execrable, ill conceived and poorly executed film, the only purpose of which is to illustrate the quality of the originals.We often bemoan the demise of the British film industry, yet we seem to be almost incapable of turning out any decent films with the resources we have.