Ratty_Randnums Beowulf is up there with "Army of Darkness" in terms of pure enjoyment for those who like swords, monsters and cheese. Though lacking the grand scope, budget and self-aware humor of the aforementioned classic it makes up for those losses with a very fun post-apocalyptic setting, great action and an engaging visual style. Lambert gives a good performance as the titular tortured demon hunter and Rhona Mirtra is so stunning and sexy in this it's a wonder she has not become more well-known. All of the cast turn in excellent performances for a B movie honestly. None of them, with the possible exception of Layla Roberts, mug or wink at the camera. This all ties together with a fast and fun adrenaline pumping techno soundtrack ala Mortal Kombat, a movie which shares a producer with this one, to create a film enjoyable both on its own merits and as fodder for gentle riffing. Not to be missed by those who love B monster or action movies.

TheUnknown837-1 Why is it, I have asked myself so many times, that the earliest piece of Anglo-Saxon literature known to man—the epic poem of Beowulf, whose author remains unknown—has been given the poorest of treatment over and over again when somebody decided to bring it to the screen. I have seen three separate adaptations of Beowulf, two low-budget productions and one big-budget adaptation that all, unfortunately, proved to be nothing more than travesties and unasked-for disasters. And this 1999 film is not only very unfaithful to the original poem, but very likely the worst of the seemingly always-disappointing Beowulf adaptations.The basic plot is still the same as in the poem, but the way it's worked out in the screenplay is alien. A monster-fighting hero named Beowulf (Christopher Lambert) answers a kingdom's cry to fight an evil creature called Grendel (Charles Robinson) and the monster's vengeful, humanlike mother. To state a fact, I'm not a purist. I was frankly not expecting a faithful adaptation. If I got one, I'd be surprised. But I was certainly hoping for something that I could at least recommend as passable. I didn't get it."Beowulf" is a clunky, poorly-put-together disaster of a motion picture that boasts nothing, for there is nothing to boast. The acting, even that by Christopher Lambert, an always interesting actor, was unqualified and poor, to be charitable. The cinematography was very dark and gloomy and at times, especially during the special effects sequences, it was hard to tell exactly what was going on (big surprise). Basically, it's a gloomy-looking movie and a very gloomy-feeling movie as well. It's dark, slow, ponderous, uninteresting, and overall a waste of time. And sometimes it seems as though the film's not sure what it's supposed to be. Is it suppose to be an epic? A monster film? A poignant story? Or some clunky love story with out of place sex sequences? And the special effects? Don't even get me started on the special effects. They were awful, let's put it that way, especially in regards to Grendel's mother.But as poor as all of this way, I would have gladly taken it as opposed to these verbose and unnecessary monologues and subplots that seem to twist up and control the movie. Sometimes it's almost as if the screenwriter forgot about the main purpose of the plot. Full of bad dialogue, poor special effects, a lack of vibrant colors, and no interesting moments, "Beowulf" is a disappointment of the lowest category. The great poem has yet to be done justice on screen. This is one of the reasons why.

lastgoldrush What. Uh...This movie is so dissociative and messed up that I literally lost a bit of my sanity after it was over. I will never be the same person again. I'm trying to put my finger on what, exactly, is so completely insane about it... It's not just the hilarious techno music, or the "outside of time" medieval/Blade Runner/wild west/Highlander setting, or the weird CGI "Grendel" monster that looks like a man made out of animated sausages, or even the "Grendel's mother" monster, which looks like some Alabama table-dancer who grew claws and tentacles when she stayed in the tanning bed too long. All of those things are weird, but what's really the strangest thing in this movie is the acting. I simply can't explain. This script is obviously, hellishly silly, but the actors exude deadly seriousness through it all. Lambert is always weird, and usually kind of boring, but for this one he's gone into Dolph Lundgrin territory: I can't help but just start laughing every time he talks.I will give this movie some credit for being completely scatter-brained and crazy as opposed to conservative and boring. I'll always take a bizarre disaster of a film over an utterly mediocre one.Warning: if you are planning on watching Christopher Lambert as Beowulf, be prepared to spend several hours thereafter wandering the streets in some kind of nightmarish, hyperactive-catatonic daze. It's true. When I was done with my Beowulf spirit journey, I woke up in the middle of the Siberian tundra in a puddle of blood and milk. There was a dead wolf lying next to me, and I later found I had a handful of human teeth in my shirt pocket. My VHS copy of Beowulf was sitting on a hastily-constructed stone altar nearby, enshrined with candles and wilted flowers. The tape told me to walk. I rose and I walked.

gothic_warrior_christian Whoever made the film wanted it to be set up as a Fantasy Movie. I think Christopher Lambert is actually quite talented for an actor. The action in this movie was terrific. It is very much like Blood of Beasts. Unlike most movies, at least mostly everything took place in a castle and not on a battlefield. Most dark age movies tend to be going for the "Battlefield" stage. That is why this movie is unique, plus, the special effects and stunts. There a few technical things that weren't from the dark age, but that's the only thing I didn't like about it. Everything else was good, that's why I give it an 8. I've seen a hell of a lot worse movies, many.