Michael_Elliott Auditions (1978) ** (out of 4) Decent enough softcore picture has a couple sets built where a number of actors and actresses come in to audition for a hardcore film. The producer, whose voice we hear throughout the film, asks the people to get undressed while he asks various sexual things.This softcore picture certainly has enough nudity in it for two movies and very rarely does ten seconds go by without some sort of nudity. This movie really doesn't try to just go for the male viewer because it also aims to please female viewers as there is quite a bit of male nudity and especially a lot when you consider so many of these films of this era were aimed at just men.Is AUDITIONS any good? Not really but if you've seen enough exploitation pictures then you'll know that there's much worse out there. I think the idea to the film is pretty good but even at just 78 minutes the film drags really bad at spots as the same thing just keeps happening over and over. I think a tad bit more energy to the "acts" would have helped.The highlight of the movie are the scenes where Linnea Quigley appears. She was still unknown here but she appears in a couple scenes and does a rather wild dance in a horror setting and this dance has a few moves that fans of THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD will recognize. If you're a fan of Quigley then this here is worth watching.

Woodyanders An open casting call is held for a low-budget sexploitation movie. Among the colorful and amusing array of folks who attend these auditions are a drum-playing dwarf, a drawling redneck, a morbidly obese lady, a flamboyant opera-singing homosexual, a gruff New Yorker with a creepy gun fetish, a dancing three-legged dude, and a mumbling black guy who tells terrible jokes, plus various 70's porn regulars who include Rick Cassidy, Rhonda Jo Petty, Rick Lutze, Jennifer West, and William Margold. Director Harry Tampa not only maintains a constant brisk pace and an engaging lighthearted tone throughout, but also astutely captures the blithely uninhibited'n'irreverent anything-goes carefree vibe of the 70's and delivers plenty of tasty bare female skin (a bunch of fellows go full monty, too!). Moreover, this film further benefits from an early appearance by an extremely cute, young, and fresh-faced Linnea Quigley in her pre-80's cult scream queen days; the vibrant and adorable Linnea does a memorably sexy and energetic nude dance routine that serves as a nifty precursor to her famous cemetery striptease in "The Return of the Living Dead." Robert Staats contributes a hilariously smarmy performance as no-count sleazeball E. Eddie Edwards, who keeps showing up at the most inopportune moments to shamelessly plug the talent agency he works for. Late, great character actor Michael Pataki growls out the awesomely funky ending credits song. In addition to all the nudity, this picture also features steamy simulated masturbation, quasi-pornographic couplings, and even some kinky bondage stuff staged in a dungeon. Done in a mock documentary manner, this racy little honey overall rates as a complete bawdy hoot.

morrison-dylan-fan Talking to a friend about movies which they were looking for,I got told about an extremely rare sounding film which involved "Queen of the B- Movies' Linnea Quigley taking part in an "X-Rated" audition.Originally thinking that the title would be near impossible to find,I was surprised to discover that the movie had been brought out on DVD,which would give me a chance to take a look at some long forgotten auditions.Outline of the documentary:Placing a huge "Wanted" ad in a number of Hollywood's most famous trade publication's,a director sets up a bedroom and a dungeon set to hold auditions in for his upcoming Erotic fairy tale fantasy film.Staying hidden behind the set walls,the director begins to film the auditions of people who are dreaming of playing either "the two sexiest people on earth" or the ones who think that they perform "the weirdest act on earth."View on the film:Watching a newly recorded intro to the movie,which features an interview with "co-wrier"/producer Charles Band,I was shocked to discover that each of the cast members were paid between $1-$5,and also had to sign a contract that would give Band permission to use the audition footage in a possible future film.Along with the contracts that the candidates had to sign,Band also mentions that he made the movie just for the auditions,with the brutal reality being that he had no plans for the performers to appear in any feature film.Whilst most of the woman in the movie,(many of whom,don't wear any lingerie!) are great looking, (with one of the most memorable moments being a naked 20 year old Linnea Quigley dancing round a Horror movie set) director Harry Hurwitz quickly runs out of steam.Instead of gradually building up to show the insane things that people will do for even the slightest whiff of fame,Hurwitz instead goes straight for the jugular and starts to get all of the girl's to strip off right from the first 5 minutes,which although fun for the first 30 minutes or so,starts to become extremely tiring as the " job interviews" of the candidates slowly finish their interviews.

Hairy Buddah Run an ad in a paper. "Open tryouts for Porn Movie". See who shows up. Put them in a frilly pink bedroom or a dark dungeon. Each room has a one way mirror and speaker that lets the producer see and talk to the hopeful porn actor/actress. Let the fun begin.This film is fascinating! Not as porn but as a window into human behavior. A disembodied voice tells you to take off all your clothes, and promises that if you masturbate you will be in the movies. What do you do?You are a producer and you tell a guy to take off all his clothes. This process reveals his pistol. Not the kind of gun you are expecting to see. What do you do?Move from solo tryouts, to couples call backs, to group grope final scenes. The intensity just keep growing. And some interesting sides of human nature are revealed.The sex is so-so. The whole concept and execution is absolutely first rate. This is a must see.