cardoso
I love bad movies, and the moment the babe bad-ass pilot arrived, with a nickname like "Charlie", I smelled a pearl.The stock shots from old Pentagon tapes don't mix with the scenery, the Americans act like lapdogs the the "Petrovian" military commander... "I give the orders, you obey" but I can understand. The guy is a cheap Dr Strangelove, wheelchair and cigarettes included.Also highly-trained, expensively-trained pilots join ground missions, and if someone says no the bad-ass babe pilot says "If you don't allow me I'll ask my father, General whatever". Yeah, right. US Army, just like Junior High.The hero, of course, takes a Rocky Balboa-grade beating, but is ready to beat the two main villains, with his bare hands. Oh, they do that in a cage, in the middle of their Evil Compound, but NOBODY is watching. Of course the hero does not kill the villain, who killed his brother (great and original plot device) and flees.Best part is: The hero is escaping, after a few "let's blow the villain's drug stash" and "let's blow the villain American dollars stash". Yes, now I know the "writer" watched Lethal Weapon. He shots a few thousand henchmen, direct from Imperial Troopers Marksman School. After the last two, he run out of bullets. He IGNORES the 1644 guns dropped around the massacre area, pulls a biiiig fracking machete, and starts to slaughter the other 544 remaining henchmen. Those are helpful enough to simply run towards the hero, holding their Ak-47s. I know, even the things that grown in my bellybutton would simply stay away and hose down the guy with hot lead, but he's the hero, come on.Did I told you the hot bad-ass babe pilot goes to his rescue and of course is captured by the villain #2, in a split-second...Oh, the villain killed HER brother too.After a Mexican stand-off between a guy holding a hot bad-ass babe pilot (and a pistol) and a guy 10 meters away holding a big knife, the villain #2 makes the hero drop the knife. He does, but holds a small cute kitchen knife on his back. The villain #2 (oh, surprise!) points the gun towards the hero, who throws the knife, carving it from, well, 100feet right in the villain #2 forehead (apply directly to the forehead! apply directly to the forehead! Now I know what it means).The villain #1 arrives, shoots the hero and goes away. Yes, he wanted the guy pretty dead, but could not point the gun to the hot bad-ass babe pilot and waste her, too. Also he never wondered about... flak vests. Neither did she, because the hot bad-ass babe pilot forgot about the guy who killed her brother, and started to sob and cry and yell "don't die please don't die I need you you can't be dead don't die!" The villain #1 flees, and think as a real mastermind: "the area is surrounded by US Army choppers, I'm in a forest, that I know like the back of my hand. Should I simply use one of my 332 safehouses and wait things cool down or should I jump into my tiny little cheap chopper bought on an Airwolf surplus sale" Meanwhile...A big Apache chopper lands, near the hero and the babe pilot. The Apache pilot does what every single pilot loves to do: Handles his 40 gazillion dollars chopper to the couple.I don't need to mention that the villain #1 is also a bad-ass pilot.And the little thing makes turns around the Apache.They only manage to kill the guy when they decide to use ANOTHER useful resource: The Angry Rant While Firing.The hero says "that's for killing my brother Sam!!" and fires the canon The babe says "that's for killing MY brother Jim!" and press the trigger, showing another Apache firing the rockets, a kind of gun with 0% of chance of downing another helicopter unless it's parked and marked with a big "aim here to blow this thing".The best part is when they arrive at the base. The extras surround them, and start a chant "USA! USA!". It's not only cheesy, it's hilarious.I'm not American (d'oh!) but I don't mind American patriotism when it's part of the plot. I've got goosebumps from the President's speech in Independence Day (go ahead, sue me) but hey, COME ON. Even Rambo never chanted "USA! USA!". Not even Chuck Norris. (But he could, of course) Oh, the couple of heroes start to french-kiss and talk about their honeymoon, while the extras chant their patriotic mantra.The film is so wrong, is so bad, I only recommend it if you're really into trash movies. Otherwise stay away. Really. As a friend, I beg you.
Enchorde
Recap: A small US force of some rangers and attack helicopters (apaches) is sent to the east European country of Petrovia (? -if I remember correctly) to aid the government in their battle against drug-lord/terrorist Ivan and his militia. A first strike against a drug convoy results in two apaches hit and three pilots dead. To replace them a retired ace is brought in, and a daughter of a general turns up. But before the unit can plan next strike, Ivan takes revenge, striking against a bank and the American mess hall. Now, it is personal...Comments: I think that somewhere before they started to make this movie someone thought: "Hm, I sure do got a lot of fireworks, what to do? I know, lets make a movie! And hey, aren't those American helicopters cool?" Anyway, that it is how it seems. The one thing that is of good quality and done well are the explosions. No money spared there, and hence everything in sight blows up, for one reason or another, and blows up big. There are lot of huge fireballs. The apaches seem to have been a little harder to come by. So a lot of sequences of the helicopters are animated (poorly), and others seem to be to taken from some kind of commercial or technical video. The few scenes of real apaches I'm pretty sure are taken from the American mid west, although the movie is set in Europe.The plot and story is bad, cheesy and predictable. Our helicopter hero is worse than Rambo, even when fighting on the ground. His magazines are unlimited and he is impossible to hit (which is in fact stated in the movie, he is simply charmed). On the other hand, the evil and supposedly well-trained militia acts and fights worse than kindergarten kids with water-rifles. I don't know what to think of the acting. To be fair they do not have much material to work with. But the acting do not elevate the average at all, so it is rather poor too.Still, much of the impression a movie makes is about expectations. And this movie delivers about what I expected. I expected a simple movie with little story and much action. I got most of it. But they could have put a little more effort in it, and it would have been so much better.3/10
